having to rely on others...

[jeric]

Do you feel like because our health conditions that we have to rely on others for a lot...

?

I know that I'm finding that I need to rely on others a lot more than I would like to... but that may just be because I'm so independent and really hate having to depend on others for what I need.

For example... during my stim trial and after the implant surgery I needed assistance with washing my hair. I had numerous friends who all volunteered to help me wash my hair, but when the time came and I needed to wash my hair everyone was always busy. I was basically dropping everything I was doing to make and find a time that they would be able to wash my hair... which I, I'm thankful that they were willing to do that but at the same time when they said that they would wash it only to call me a few min. before we begin to tell me that they don't have time was so frustrating and drove me nuts that I was so dependent on someone else just to wash my hair.

Well I thought that was all over... but it's, not really.

I'm having a difficult time with my stimulator rep.

I've had 5 scheduled appts w/ him since my implant
1st: wasn't there but sent a different rep sine it was my actual implant
2nd: there but didn't do any programming because I was too sore from surgery
3rd: didn't come sent different rep
4th: mix up between drs office and him he thought appt was at 12pm and it was at 2pm
between these two I moved back home so now any appts would require my mom taking off of work to drive me the 2 1/2 hours (one way 5 roundtrip) to meet with him since I'm still not supposed to drive
5th: I waited 1hr, called around til I found out it he was still in the OR with an implant and it would be another 30min, I told them I had to leave because since came all the way into town I had other appts/meetings lined up... I had left 1hr and 15min free for this appt that should have been more than enough time even if he was 30min-45min late!

I got really frustrated today though because when I told them I couldn't wait any longer to see the rep... it sounded like they go mad at me and basically told me that this was my last chance to see him because he is very busy.

I'm sorry.... but I have been at every appt and early! I don't think this rep has ever been on time to ANY of my appts. It's very frustrating. I'm so mad that I didn't get to work on any of my programming! I hate that they made me feel like **** because I couldn't wait.

I'm not sure what happened with that last appt... I'm think they much have given me the worng time because even if there was a complication with the procedure.... it should not add almost 2hrs. on the the surgery time.

I will be coming back into town in a couple of weeks... is it rude/wrong for me to insist on being seen then?

I'm just soooo mad and have just about had it with this rep... is it wrong for me to say that I don't want to see him anymore and only want to see the rep that he sent in his place those other times?

ugh... I feel a bit better already that venting helped. :)

I think, that it's ok for me to insist on another appt on the day that I will be down there again... I will insist on scheduling it at the end of the day as well so all that is put off if their is a delay is me getting home. I think the rep is probably ok... 2 of those times he sent the other guy who was able to do the programming, one was an office mix-up and if had something else already at 2 that day thats not really his fault either... and this last one I just don't have all the details and maybe it was a misunderstandng.

I just hate having to depend on someone else... it just feels like I'm always let down. I don't like that with this implant comes the remote that I need to have to adjust it or the charger, but I control those things if the remote isn't by my it's my fault, if I forgot to chrage it's my fault I let myself down, and I make sure that doesn't happen. I hate that my stimulator is virtually useless without the programming and that I can't do the programming myself... I need to meet with and depend on the rep to do my programming.

Tomorrow I'm going to call my PCP and make an appt for june 11th (I need to see her again before I go to Spain so I'll be making the 2 1/2 hour drive and by this time I will be able to drive). I'm then going to call and get an appt to see the rep that same day... and advice on what to say is helpful! Also... should I call my rep (I call a nurse at the office and she goes between me and the rep to make the appt) and touch base about yesterday.... I don't know be like what time did you think the appt was at? I was told this??

Any advice appreciated!! :D

[jeric]

Actually I know for a fact that my doctor is getting a bit annoyed with this rep... apparently he's been sending a different rep more than the few times... and I know she likes this other rep better too... so maybe there will be a switch in the future? Hopefully.

I'm actually now having troubles getting into see my PCP... she doesn't have any appts before I leave for Spain... but she said she would of just sent my to a specialist anyways... well now I'm trying to get into see a specialist before I leave... but of course they don't have any appts open! So it's very frustrating and this appt with the specialist will have to be the same day as my appt with the rep... and I'm hoping this will all happen and come together perfectly on the either June 11th or June 12th cause more than likely my whole family will be driving down those days! But the chances of that happening are slim. We shall see if it isn't one thing it's another. :) yikes.

[tresa47]

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time with your rep...I have an scs system..Your rep is suposed to be there for you. I would call the company and explain the problems your having. they should be bending over backwards to help you. Ask to talk to a supervisor..it will get you places.  I don't remember if you said your dr's office can help you with this. Try talking to your dr and let him know the problems. My prayers are with you... keep hollering until you get the help you need.  take care...vent when you need too! It helps! Tresa

[Babs1469]

I can't even begin to imagine the frustration you are going through, I mean I, as I'm sure all of us have had to wait to see doctors, sometimes hours but to the extent that you have been put through the ringer is inexusable. I mean doctors get emergencies I get that, appointments run long, i get that -  but every time you get held up to such a degree it is almost like the doctor/ rep, doesn't value your time and that is wrong. I wish I had answers for you but all I can do is say a prayer for ya and listen when you need to vent.
hope things get better and your luck turns a corner. Best wishes
Babs

[Tuckamore]

Good thinking for the Thursday appts. I hope that works out better for you. I have an Uncle that threatened by certified mail to charge his doctor if he was more than 20 minutes late for an appointment. My Uncle would wait close to an hour or more for his physician, much like you. He got sick of it. And indeed it cost him money to be away from his office.

Uncle sent his Doc a certified letter explaining that he was a professional too and his time was money. He said something close to this, "Your policy is to charge me for any missed appointments. Your tardiness has caused me to miss important appointments." Uncle stated that he scheduled X amount of time for his appointment. If he was not seen in X amount of time from the scheduled appointment he would bill the physician X amount of dollars for every 15 minutes he sat waiting for him, in or out of an exam room.

Now of course Uncle never billed his doctor. They both laughed about the letter. However the doctor personally made sure that they scheduled Uncle better and never again did he even come close to waiting an hour. Assertiveness paid off.  

[jeric]

Thanks Tuck!

I wish I could call ahead like that but I'm not sure that would work with this rep because he almost never is in the clinic (or the same one at least) all day. He only comes in when he has appts scheduled. So the clinic wouldn't know if he was behind of not, I could try calling him and asking but he almost never answers his phone so even that would probably not work very often.

So far the only appts with him that I have not had to wait ages to be seen are on Thursdays because he usually is there a good protion of the day then because that is my dr's clinic day so I think I'll try and get a Thursday appt this next time.

[Tuckamore]

I hear your pain and frustration. The very bright and talented surgeon that saved my life following my MVA was always late. I was under his care in the hospital for almost six months. He is so dedicated to all of his patients. He is an hour and a half from my home.

What I finally did was call ahead and ask is Dr. So & So running on schedule. His staff was wonderfully helpful. They knew I could not sit in the waiting room for even an hour. So when I would call they would tell me his time table and sometimes they valled me. Often they would say he was running an hour behind schedule or more and advise me not to come until such and such a time. If you make your appts later in the day the staff should be able to tell you how on or off schedule he is running.

I have been where you are as far as being dependant on others. I still am to some degree. Friends and family mean well. They are just busy with their own lives. They probably love you very much but they have other stressors and commitments. I have found it best to say, "Can you please help me with XYZ? What day and time is good for you." And if they cancel I thank them and ask someone else, unless they have a very good legitimate reasons for cancelling.

Sometimes even though they love you they are just not caretakers. That doesn't make them good or bad, that just makes them who they are. You'll learn who you can count on and who you can't. I'm blessed. I have a wonderful young (28) daughter-in-law (a nurse too) that is there for me when ever she can be. Julie has a busy career and six children, 4 of her own, one of my son's and one of "theirs" so she cannot always find the time to help, though she does her very best. It sounds like your Mom is there for you and probably loves being able to help her daughter. Allow her to help. Mother's are never too tired or too busy to help our children.

I hope you have a better time of it than you have had. You can vent any time you would like to here. Things will get better, just hang in there.  
Peace, Tuck