10 year old sleeping with father

[eriktrex2]

I am divorced mother of a 10 year old. On the weekends my son spends with his father he always sleeps in the same bed as his father. We have been seperated/divorced for 5 years. It bothers me that he is still sleeping with his father. I feel that it is wrong. I feel it is more of my ex husbands problem than my son.Is it unhealthy? I believe it is. How can I tell him it is not healthy for a 10 year old to sleep with his dad?

[Bigsister_littlesister]

I have no problems anymore, althought its been a year or so lol.. but unfortunately we do share a room at my dads bc he's low on money and had to rent a room out

[margypops]

Get tough tell him NO ...if you dont hes getting mixed messages, you could have a game with him before he goes to bed and actually your parents should deal with this matter so speak to them tell them you want your own space and at your age it is right you have it.Speak up but mean it no games no letting him one night and not another you have to be consistant. Doesnt matter if he yells, but ask your Mom and Dad to do it for you.Good Luck tell us how it went ....

[Bigsister_littlesister]

I'm 14 and my little brother HAS to sleep either with me, my dad, or my two other brothers. It's nonsense. What do I tell him to get over it and sleep in his own bed? He even wines when he can be in he bed with them. He can't be one step near 'alone'. At first it was cute, but I want my own space... He even turned down the offer of having his own room. A 5th grader doesn't want his own room!?!

Someone help me! I'm desperate and I can't hurt the little guys feelings anymore. I tried once and he cried but didn't tell me any true reason why. I just don't want him to get teased. He's a great brother and all I want is some quality advice... Anyone?

[pcarsey]

Can you please explain to me why you think it's *unhealthy*?

I wouldn't worry about it too much, My son is also 10 and he sleeps with his step-dad every night. You may be asking why aren't you sleeping in bed with your husband?.. I am pregnant and our house is newly built and the paint smell is bothersome to me so I don't sleep in the bedroom because it's too confined or something. Anyways....
10 years old is a very big age for children. They are no longer babies and they don't fit in anywhere else yet either. My son is going through this stage where he has to have some kind of security shown to him. So he sleeps with either me or my husband, which I prefer he sleeps with my husband because I have a fan on me all night long and it can get pretty cold. I think it's just a stage he is going through at the moment. He says all the time that he is going to sleep in his bed that night and always ends up back in bed with my husband. It's not a biggie if you don't make it a biggie.
He will grow out of it I'm sure. Have you ever asked your son if he likes going to his dads and why he sleeps with his dad? and does he like sleeping with his dad? and is he afraid to sleep by himself? He may sleep by himself at your house but that could be just because he knows you won't let him sleep with you. I'm sure it's really nothing to worry about.

I slept with my mom until I was 14.. we would read together at night or she would ready me her nursing books and then I would always end up falling asleep. I don't really know why other then that I would just happen to drift off to sleep and it wasn't a big deal to my mom so nothing was ever said or changed about it until I changed it.

Give it some time, I'm sure your son *or your husband* will grow out of it.

I read another forum about this woman who was worried about her sister in law always sleeping with her children, ages 4,6, & 13 all boys. The sister in law was saying that she wasn't sure what she should do. As if someone made her child welfare head lady or something. Come to find out, the woman knew she was dying and that's why she slept with her kids, to spend all the time with them she could. Turned out the sister in laws Husband knew all about his sister being sick but didn't say anything to the meddling wife he had. Yeah that family had a whole bunch of issues, but in the case of the woman sleeping with her kids.. the sister in law had no idea what she was even trying to get in the middle of anyways.

Talk to your ex husband if it bothers you that much.

Good Luck.

[becks715]

I'd approach your ex husband and tell him you don't want that happening.

I'd try talk to your son - maybe there is a reason behind it - insecurity? a fear? etc.  Ask him if he's ok with that and why - is there something behind it?