10yrs old and pant wetting

[Intrigue1157]

Hello all,

My step son is 10 years and is wetting his pants consistently. There is no medical explanation and he does and has not suffered any abuse. he does not wet his bed and it does not appear to be an issue of him not knowing he needs to go until he goes. It almost seems like he doesn't care and doesn't see an issue with it. We have been very supportive and have not been disciplining him for these 'mistakes' however we are now at a loss as these 'mistakes' do not appear to be mistakes at all. Lately when we ask him why he is wetting he says things like 'I didn't know where the toilet was'. He doesnt ask anyone where it is, he doesn't go outside on a tree. he doesnt seem to try to find any alternate solution he just pees his pants and seem quite comfortable with it. He doesnt mind being wet and doesnt mind the smell. He gets a little embarred when people comment but gets over that quickly.

He does come from a broken home but has a great relationship with all family members and is loved and cared for in each of his homes. He has changed schools recently (partially in an attempt to see if bulling or environmental issues may be the cause). His wetting did stop for a couple of weeks but has returned.

Does anyone have any ideas for us? We are beginning to think that we need to implement some punishment as to get him to acknowledge that is really is not acceptable to sit and wet your pants rather than asking someone where the toilet is?

[Mum23gc]

@stacey1122 I think what u suggest is basically abuse. Basically ur saying humiliate them until they cut it out, they couldn't have a friend in their room or anything due to the "reward chart" which is not a reward but humiliation. Doing this to an 11-13 year old is terrible, they are probably wetting due to the stress of how you handle "discipline". if there is no physical medical problem and they appear to "just not care" that they're sitting in wee this is still a psychological issue and humiliation would cause further distress.
I had this problem with my son at the age of 7 or 8 and it was really upsetting that he didn't seem to care enough about himself or what ppl thought of him. I didn't punish him for wetting, I didn't reward dry days. I talked to him about how much he meant to me, that I wanted him to respect and care for himself and made sure he knew that he was an imortant and worthy person and worthy of being clean and hygienic. I assured him that if he had things on his mind he could  talk to me or if he didn't feel he could talk to me he could go to a school councillor but made sure he knew someone's there for him.  
It was a testing time but it passed and if he even remembers it at least he knows I was on his side, didn't hold it against him, bully him or embarrass him over it.

[xavier368]

I am a 12 year old boy and i also have a bottle before bed and i wear a girls pull up to bed.

[AlsGal928]

Our 10 yr old daughter has had this problem off/on for about 4 yrs.  We took her to a Pediatric Urologist. Our daughter explained to the doctor that she doesn't have the "urge" to go to the bathroom until it just happens, then it is too late.  The doctor explained that the receptors between her bladder and brain do not communicate and what she described was exactly the outcome. He prescribed Detrol LA once per day, and she had the "Urge" within 4-5 days and not one accident.  Please, please don't belittle and embarrass your child (as some have suggested) as a way to bully them into doing something they really want to do, but medically they can't. Have the doctor suggest a better way. Good luck.

[Livvy101]

Stacy1122 the only problem with your theory is I have a 12 year old who does the same thing and I tried pretty much what you said like saying come on have you got you night nappy on let me change you when she was at sleepovers but her friends didn't care and thought it was cute and excepted it damm, and she is quite small and hasn't started pubity so she's cute to her friends and she cried when I said that and all her friends hugged her and said it's okay nothing to be embarrassed about, she also has a dummy so when I was changing her to get more attention she cried I want my dummy,, so that won't always help she still does it now but she has admitted she dies it for attention because she has a 1 year old sister and she doesn't like it when she doesn't get attention so I told her if she wants mummies attention just ask and she got really upset and she was really sorry so now it does about once a month (I think it's of she gets left out) but after the talk we made a deal if she has a bottle before bed like her little Sis and a dummy when she's said she won't wet herself it does no harm and it's much easier hope that helps!    

[Canfish18]

Iam 18 years old girl and I want to be a baby and how can i tell my mom that I want to be treated like a baby and I want to start to wear diapers instead of under wear

[Stacy1122]

Hey,
I have a daughter and she had a simliar problem when she was 11. She is 13 now and almost never does it. Her behavior was very similar to what you are describing. What we did was take away most of her electronics and fun toys and then hang a giant "dry chart" above her bed or anywhere in her room, make sure its large. Then we made sure to put pooping and wetting pants chart on it so everyone knew what it meant. For every week she was dry we gave her a toy back and had a sticker on the chart for that week. If she didnt make it a week, we would restart that week. Then also definantly put her back in diapers with little girl baby designs on them, in your case little boy designs up too you, and have him wear them to school, at night, to friends houses, in the pool, during the day, everyday! all day! and everywhere! And have him change himself. Make him do this for at least until se is a month to 2 months completely dry. If he stops permenantly then its your choice to have him stop wearing them. Make sure that diapers are noticeable to everyone. Then in a cauple days when all of this is set up have his friends come over and have them see what he is doing and is wearing. At night when they are together for the sleepover go in and ask in front of everyone, do you have you night diapers on honey if not lets go change you. And then in the morning start the process as i described. I can almost guarantee this will work. Start asap, like today and make it as embarrasing as possible. Tell him if hes going to act like a baby youll treat him like a baby. Im sure this will work. Write back with how it goes. Good luck!!

[caringmom123]

That sounds like child abuse to me!  You should be ashamed of yourselves that you would purposely embarrass your daughter like that, and encourage others to do the same!  I can almost guarantee that your daughter will experience psychological issues from that treatment.  Sick!

[MotherOf3Dragons]

It worked for my stepson. Every child will need a different solution based on why they are doing it. My stepson was win his mom 3 days a week and she was telling him it's normal just wipe off with toilet paper change clothes and go on with his day. Kids were making fun of him because he smelled like pee the days he was with his mom. We had to make him feel gross himself to want to change and he completely stopped all accidents within 3 weeks.

[margypops]

Very often children do not like to use the bathroom and leave the room at school, when they are young it is easy to ask a teacher to remind them but at this age it would be embarrassing for him, maybe check out regarding any bullying may be occurring at this school .I feel positive talk and helping him understand he has to use the toilet is the best way rather than 'punishment' which will create anxiety, rewarding is better . Does he empty his bladder each time , so it pours onto the floor? even at school ?