This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
I am very worried about my 11yr old son, he is continually pooing in his pants every couple of days and totally denies he has done until someone checks his pants. This has now been going on for several years.
He is so far behind at school, I did a spelling contest between my 3 boys aged 6, 9 & 11. The 11yr old got 7 out of 15 and both the 9yr old and 6yr old got 6 out of 15. All the words were taken from words my 6 yr old is learning. He has had extra help from a trainee teacher outside of school and also see's some sort of counciller, not sure of the exact councillor title but it is only once every couple of months.
He is bullied at school mainly because he poo's himself. He has a friend out of school that will not play with him in school because he doesnt want to be seen with him at school.
The only thing that he wants to do at home is play on the x-box and always tries to sneak it on when we are not looking.
Me and his mum split up when he was about 3 and now live about 40miles away from me and dont get to see the full picture as I only have him every other weekend until a week like last week when he comes up for half term at school.
I love him so much but really struggle to cope. Any advice please would be so welcome!!
I would recommend taking the Xbox away from your son while he is at your house until he can clean up his act. It might motivate him. Say if you don't have any accidents all day you can have X amount of xbox time and stick to it. Also I would recommend contacting your public assistance since he might have a learning disability if he is that far behind on spelling. Talk to the mom to and see if you can work with her to get him the help he needs.
He might have a medical problem called encopresis. Please look it up. If so, he needs long-term treatment with stool softeners so his bowel can heal. The pooing might not be in his control and he genuinely might not know the fecal matter is even coming out when it does (when someone has encopresis, they can't feel it come out.) Please talk to his mother about issues of bowel impaction and encopresis, and get together on a plan to get him to the pediatrician or pediatric gastroenterologist. If he is having a miserable time at school because of this, no wonder he can't spell.
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