This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
I am new to this website and so please excuse me if I posted this question in a different forum topic.
My problem is as follows.
The daughter of my wife's sister is 6 years old. Just some background on her before I give the problem. She lives with her grand parents (both very honest and good people though a bit too religious in my opinion, not that is nothing wrong with that). Her father is unknown (well her mother can choose between 8 to 12 guys though to put the blame on), her mother has gone to live with another man (thank god finally so less bad examples to her daughter). Her mother is a good for nothing that has thank god a part-time employment. She does not care about the girl and is not the first time I heard her curse her own daughter for playing or something like that. My wife's other sister is an LSA but she spoils her rotten like her grand parents. At 6 years old she has already tried to hit her grand parents repeatedly. I discipline her and she is kinda careful how she interacts with with me and she obeys me. To a lesser extent my wife. Her home and my wife's other sister home were she occasionally sleeps are very disorganized and dirty. Our house on the other end is very clean and I think she notices it when she comes around. At any rate that was a summary now to the problems.
1) She has the very bad idea of opening other people's belongings without permission, especially when her grand parents and/or my wife's sister (not her mother) are around
2) She pees in her underwear when she is anywhere apart form school (even on her way back from school). She knows when she needs to go, just she does not go. I think the problem is mentally but dunno.
I know I am just her uncle and not even by blood at that but I kinda feel bad for her and not to the extent that I spoil her like everyone else, any ideas?
It's nice to hear that you are concerned with your niece's behavior. She obviously needs some loving attention. I'm not a doctor or in the medical field at all, but the thing that really concerns me is the peeing in her pants. That is not normal...is she afraid to go to the bathroom in public places? Are there any signs of sexual abuse from a male figure in her life?
There are many things going on...her Mom and Dad aren't a part of her life, she is being shuffled around from house to house...
You should bring it up to all the family members involved, talk to a pediatrician, and really sit down with her and see if you can talk with her about her feelings...what's going on in her mind?
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