7 yr Old Daughter is wetting her pants

[momcg]

My 7 year old daughter has consistently been wetting her pants for the past 5 months.  We have had an extremely difficult time potty training her.   My husand and I work splite shifts, our potty training techniques were different.  She had no consistency.  She went to all day Kindergarten, had some accidents, hit and miss.  But we never TOTALLY got rid of them.  She doesn't want to stop what it is she is doing to go to the bathroom.  This school year - 1st grade - has been exceptionally worse.  The first few months were not steady.  Now the days that are dry are easy to count, because there are so few of them.  She is mostly dry during the day but in the evenings, when I am home she 99% of time will wet her pants.  We have tried everything.  Stickers each dry day, that didn't work.  Her teacher was even nice enough to offer her a prize when we said she had a successful goal period.  She was allowed to do that once.  We then moved on to her giving us a favorite toy of hers to keep when she has an accident.  That didn't work well. I will admit that my anger over this issue is getting bad.  Now her dad - who is the most patient person I know - is even getting frustrated.  She is not wetting the bed.  The only thing that has changed since January is that we got a new puppy.  She loves the puppy!!  Oh and she turned 7 in March.  She cannot stand her birthday, she tells me that she doesn't want to acknowledge her birthday, she doesn't want to get older.  She has told me also, when we are playing and I say "Wait, I have to go to that bathroom".  She will say "Oh mommy just ignore it and it will go away".

She will never tell us or her teacher when she has wet herself.  NEVER.  

Is this just our child or are we doin something wrong.

[frustratedmom007]

I've been searching for a support group for the same thing.  I know exactly how frustrated you are.  I feel like a terrrible parent because I can't fix her.  My daughter potty trained herself at age 3. I thought, "well that was easy.'  A year later we started packing to move and the accidents started happening.  I tried to ignore them and made no big deal over them in hopes it was to get attention.  OF course, no one thinks a 4 year old having accidents is no big deal.  Well, now she is almost 8 and its worse and it is a BIG deal now.  Especially at school.  I came up with the brilliant idea of her wearing a maxi pad to absorb leaks.  It helped a little but then she figured out she could actually pee in it and it would absorb it- at least to a point.  I was mortified yesterday when she came off the bus holding the bottom of her skirt up because the pad was shredded and hanging down from being so wet.  We have tried every doctor and every program- even hypnosis.  We can't seem to get her to think differently.  SHe totally ignores it.  ANd she is a very smart child.  The only thing that helped was putting her on Detrol 2x a day for bladder spasms.  One of my biggest problems is that she wont' change herself.  She gets everything wet and dirty.  I'll see her sitting on her hee to hold it instead of going to the pottie.  SHe says she can't feel it.  I tell her if she can't feel it, then why do you sit on your heel;?  YOu must feel it.  Then she doesn't have an answer and cops an attitude that, fine,I'll go.  THen she takes her time getting to the bathroom.  I've made her clean everything up including washing her own soiled underwearand pants.  NOw she acts like she likes doing that.  One thing that actually worked but made a mess was having her wear dresses and no underwear.  THen she knew immediately she was going and had to get to the toilet or have a lot to clean up.  THe hardest thing was finding the time and place to be able to do this day in and day out.  I cna't just stop everyone's life for  aweek and cancel all outtings.  It would work for a day and then as soon as we put underwear back on her, she'd wet them.  I just don't know what to try anymore.

[Steviebo]

Wow!  Feels like you are talking about my son to a tee.... same exact pattern, except he just turned 9 and is going to be in a new school next year and we still have not made any progress.  Ignoring everything and sitting in it.... lack of desire, I paid thousands of dollars for all types of anwsers and got none...

Urologist just diagnosed him with Bladder Spasms and gave us a prescripton for Detrol.

I just filled the prescription and was soo excited that some control might be in sight, then I read about the horrible hallucination info that was posted all over the internet.  I would do anything to keep him dry, but those are some nasty side effects.

Has your child had any bad problems on Detrol XL?  I hope to start him on Saturday.  

I feel your pain... he is getting to old for this.

[manicmum]

Im new on here. I joined because of the exact same thing you're experiencing. Even down to the birthday thing. My daughter was 7 recently and i'm no nearer getting to the bottom of her wetting etc. Yes shes been through alot in her life already, (divore, moving house, changing schools etc.. but, she came to live with me fulltime in August and everyone thought this is it, shes happy n will be ok. she is happy n settled, shes with her mum, (me) etc, n doing very well at her new school, very bright, in top for most subjects etc, but last week she pooed and weed in school and lluckily the teachewr smelt it and changed her before any kids did. because of this i took her to drs, we're now on waiting list for childtherapy n also for hosptial to eliminate any physical reasons etc. the pooing i believe was a one off, its never happened before or since, but in lkast three days shes wet on way on from school.
i'm at a loss as to what to do to help her, as you all i've tried everything. there is loads more to add but for now, i'm just gonna keep my eye on this topic in the hope i see something i havent tried. but it is a comfort to know i'm not alone in this problem. I hope we all get the help we need to help our kids through this problem.

[audra30]

this can be an issue that u allcan see your doc for. sometimes its not just cut and dry as accidents or attention or there must be something wrong emotionally. there could actually be something physically wrong. there are meds for kids for this and in some case kids bladders didn't grow the same as the rest of them and could have overly small bladders. which means they can't help it. i'd start with your doc and go from there. good luck to all of u.