I was never diagnosed with any disorder or a mental issue ...so maybe your boy is just 'normal' ?Your Husband and you probably would argue anyway I doubt its your sons fault
oh boy can I relate to this child I too would be b=very mischievous and inattentive ..the teacher would throw chalk at me to stop me sitting looking out of the window especially when it was math.I still did pretty well both as a fairly assertive child and a successful adult ..ps I still dont like rules and regulations .
BOY he sounds exactly like me when I was a child.
My thinking was that the rules were stupid. Honestly, I couldn't see the value in rules - and to this day most rules seem stupid still.
I would obey things that were good rules - don't stick your hand on the hot stove, don't run with scissors. Good, sound rules.
I also used to get in trouble for talking too much and not following directions. To this day I love to play board games but refuse to read the rules - it's boring. I just get out the pieces and make up my own rules - which, actually, are almost always MUCH more fun for everyone than the way the game creators imagined the game should be played.
It really doesn't sound like he's doing much that's truly harmful - he's just not following the arbitrary rules that he doesn't think make much sense.
And I wish I could tell you how to solve this, but my guess is he'll still be doing this when he's an old man.