9 Year Old - Anxiety Issues

[SocWork]

My 9 year old daughter has just recently started the 4th grade.  As a September birthday shes younger than most of her classmates.  Recent events include the death of her maternal grandfather.  They were not terribly close, being in different states, but she had a positive relationship with him.  Other changes include attendance at an after-school program, in the past her grandmother picked her up from school and kept her until we returned from work.  

She has started exhibiting serious separation issues with her mother, something we've never experienced in the past.  At first it was directed at the after school program.  She wanted no part of it and was prone to major fits and pleaded with us to get her out of the program. We relented and made arrangements to have her grandmother continue to pick her up.  Now it's expanded to almost every non-family activity she's involved in...school, after-school activities, sunday school, etc....everything is becoming a fight.  She no longer eats in the school cafeteria and demand that we make her lunch. Her teacher has allowed her to use the classroom phone to call mom in the afternoon on at least 2 occassions.  It seems to get worse at lunch and afternoon recess, which led me to believe there was a problem with another student but that doesn't explain why its spread to all of her other "non-school" activities.

There's definitely an issue but when asked why she's having these fears she says she doesn't know.  We're ready to find a counselor for her, but we're wondering what we can do in the interim to help alleviate her anxiety.  Any thoughts ?  Thanks.  
  

[jdtm]

Research today says that anxiety is an inherited trait often triggered by a traumatic event (although keep in mind to an anxiety-prone child a traumatic event might be a non-issue to another child or person).  If a child inherits this trait, it is expected this child will have to deal with stress/frustrations/anxiety at some point in his/her life.  By the way, most children do not know of what they are afraid; some do not even believe they have fears (it's such a part of their day-to-day life these "fears" seem normal to them).  A certain amount of anxiety in one's life is normal; however, your daughter's anxiety is interfering with her day-to-day activities and will need to be addressed.  Rest assured if anxiety is the issue, it will not go away nor will your child outgrow it.

I really think your first stop should be your family doctor to see if anxiety is truly the issue.  If so, then ask for advice re treatment (if the doctor is not versed in this area, ask for a referral to a person with experience in anxiety disorders).  Treatment often is a multi-modal approach so often just one aspect (as counseling) is inefficient.  There is an excellent description of anxiety on the Anxiety Forum - posted by Georgie 323 on Oct. 5, 2008 and answered by snoozies43 titled "ANXIETY OR NOT???"  In addition you might wish to google the phrase "childhood anxiety" or similar words for more information on the internet.  I wish you the best ....