Balancing work and children

[jdesouza]

Hi,
Work has been really busy so I usually don't get to see my sons awake during the week. I spend time with them over the weekend but they are clearly a lot closer to their mother than to me.
Have others gone through this and what have then done to try and bridge the distance?
Thanks

[Enoch Choi, MD]

i try to take trips with them (am just done with a day at legoland, and off to a week cruise) even though during workweeks i hardly see them, leaving before they're awake and back from clinic long after they're asleep

i've appreciated the times my wife brings them to clinic

i try to take my meal breaks home to see them, but it's hard to break away

it's a real problem.

they don't like talking on the phone or video IM, so i'm stuck.  i just try to hang out with them when i can

mom will have to be their support until we can make more time...

[Trialanderror]

I am a mother - so I know I`m in the wrong forum - but I wanted to pat you guys on the back for being concerned and making an effort to spend time with your little ones despite the work load. I see nothing but sad fathers at my work place being desperate about not seeing their kids awake except on Sundays.
Some of them have resolved this by meeting their wife and kids for lunch once a week
and some just make it a habit to call home and talk to their child for a few minutes each day, even that makes them feel connected. When the little guys are younger than about 5 or 6 years old, they tend to still cling to their mommies anyway, don`t ever take that personal. It shifts eventually. And great if they are old enough to stay up just a bit longer to play a board game with Daddy.
My son`s dad and I live in separate households and he only sees him about 3-4 days per month by his own choice. Yesterday my 5-year-old son cried crocodile tears and told me he was so bored and frustrated at dad`s house because he never plays with him but just sits at the computer.
I rearranged my work load of about 12-13 hrs per day so I spend only 8-9 hours at work and add the others 3-4 hours from home during the night. That way my son and I get to play at least 3 hours per day plus weekends. I find if playtime is less much than that during the week, my son rightfully demands I play with him about 15 hours on the weekends. He has an internal barometer for playtime...

[ea_poe]

Yeah, that is a tough one. One of the things I've started doing with my son is try and play a game with him each night before bed. He's old enough now (almost 5) where he's really getting into board & card games. We've been doing this for a few months now and he really looks forward to it, especially if we have a new game. It's clearly not a replacement for the hours my wife spends with him, but at least it's something fairly consistent that we have together and can be done in the short time between work and him going to bed.

poe