Behavioural Difficulties

[addylea]

My duaghter 1s nearly 10 years old and both my husband and I have concerns over her behaviour....
She has a violent temper and lashes out both physically and verbally when she can't get her own way
She counts things on a regular basis...lines on the road, lamp posts etc.
If she makes a mistake on a piece of paper she has to start again and the piece of papaer has to be removed from the book (this really disturbs her)
She refuses to take any medication when ill or in pain
She worries about everything and has started to have panic atacks during the night
She will not sleep in her own room and insists on either one of us going to bed at the same time as her
It make me upset to write these things because she is also a beautiful bright girl who we love dearly but I am worried about her behaviour.  I have listed just a few things that she does and would be grateful for any advice

[Mommy3Girls]

From what you have said, I would take her to the doc. Sounds like they could help you diagnose her problems. Two of them that stand out with what you have written are Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), from the lashing out and behavior issues, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), with the counting things contnuously. I would definitely take her to the doctor though. They can give you papers to fill out about signs and symptoms of disorders that your daughter could have. There are treatments for all of them, if you can get her to take a med on a daily basis to help her control herself better.

Something else, another parent told me to do, (that came from their daughters counselor) is to put her in the shower clothes, shoes and all when she is throwing the tantrums. Hold her in there until she calms down. Then once she is calm give her a towel to dry off, and hand her clothes to change into as she gets the wet ones off. I tried it with my 7 year old during a tantrum, and it works wonders. It won't hurt her, but will shock her enough to calm her down. THe other mom said it took a few times for it to stop the tantrums, but their daughter has since stopped throwing the tantrums.

Doesn't hurt to try it if it will help you with her tantrums. Give it a shot.

[jdtm]

I suspect that your daughter is suffering from an anxiety disorder - perhaps OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder).  The violent temper and the lashing out verbally and physically, as well as extreme frustration, are common behaviours with anxiety.  Actually everything you stated leads me to believe that is the main issue (if not the only issue) that you need to address.  I really doubt if ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) would be a correct diagnosis.  Anxiety is an inherited genetic trait and it will not go away nor will your daughter outgrow it.  Anxiety can be managed with proper treatment as intervention, therapy and possibly medication.  Please see your pediatrician for a referral to someone who specializes in anxiety disorders as a child neurologist, child psychiatrist or child psychologist.  Anxiety is the most common mental health disorder suffered by our children today and the prognosis is excellent for early diagnosis and treatment.

[raymoe]

Addylea I entirely agree with the sensible above comment of jdtm on 12/03/07.

I would advise you though to disregard the harmful second paragraph of hopefulmommy2007, that he relays from some other parent.

Regards UK Ray

[Mommy3Girls]

I assure you I meant no harm in suggesting the cold shower. I actually tried it with my daughter once, and she was not harmed physically, emotionally or mentally. It was just for a minute or so, and it worked to calm her down and stop the tantrum. It may seem cruel to some parents, and I thought so as well before I tried it. It did not cause any harm, and it stopped her tantrums. She no longer lashes out physically at myself or anyone else. She is also in counseling, and it is helping tremendously. It has helped her deal with her emotions better by using words instead of yelling and throwing things and destroying our home.  

I again assure you, I meant no harm in my suggestions or comments. Good luck!