This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
This is so hard for me to deal with and I have no idea how to handle this. Couple weeks ago I cought my 11 year old step son naked in bed with my 5 year old son. I removed my son from the room and his father sent him home to his mom. He is telling them that I am lying. That only my 5 year old was naked and it was my sons idea to do it. But my 5 year old tells me that it was the 11 year olds idea, that he didn't touch him and that the 11 year old was only touching himself.
Now my questions are...My husband is telling me I am probably blowing to much into this and they are just being curious boys. Could this be? Is this normal? I am thinking with that much age difference there is more of a problem. The other question is...Do I let my step son back into my house? Can this happen again? What can I do to make sure this does not happen again? I am so angery and sick over this. I can never look at this 11 year old the same again.
I do not want him to come back and I would feel horrible if it was something more and it happened again and I let it happen.
Its doubtful it was the 5 year old's idea, and yes it could happen again whether you have him back at any time is up to you, but I do suggest vigilance if he is around, and supervision for your child..
Big enough age difference. The 11 yr old knows better, sounds manipulative and chances are it will happen again. A 5 yr old convincing an 11 yr old doesnt make sense. You are not looking too much into it. Protect your child.
Are you stalking cadad or something nearly every post iv been on has been you commenting about cadad page 1 and 2 are the only ones iv been on so far and its mostly you two :/ are you going to accuse me of the same as him I'm looking at what parents have done in this situation as my mum saw my brother acting inappropriatly with me and ignored the signs it got worse and now she thinks I'm just confused about the situation so I want to see it from a parents point of view
Hi rioamylyla, I'm very sorry your brother is doing inappropriate things with you. You say your mom saw this and didn't help you?? ugh. What about talking to your dad?? You have to feel safe in your own house. I would not allow one child to hurt another.
the truth about child upon child molestation is that typically, the one who instigates it has had it happen to them by someone else. It's a very sad cycle.
I would ask your mom point blank for help. If she won't, think about who else you can go to.
I would be concerned for the 5 year old. The 11 year old boy is obviously curious about his sexually (and at a normal age).
But, it also sounds to me that the 11 year old is showing homosexual tendencies - he's experimenting with the 5 year old. . . . perhaps it's time for another "talk". . . good luck - it's a sensitive subject....
I'm now 23 with my own children I don't see my dad he was long gone before I was born no-one wants to talk about things like that iv found out loads since iv grown up and a lot about my brother we didn't speak for years but something happened and now we sometimes talk on the phone iv seen him a few times he hasn't admitted it but he has said sorry in his own way I'm just still confused as to why it was allowed to happen
I think some parents have a hard time thinking their own child would do something like that--- so they put their blinders on. Easier that way too. But WRONG on many levels. It hurts the abused child obviously because you needed to feel safe and supported. You needed to not just feel safe but to BE safe. It also hurts the child that is abusing because most likely they've had something happen to them as well. So, if you don't get that child some help---- you are cheating them out of much needed support.
I think making peace with your brother is good. I guess. he was a child and again, probably had something happen to him. If you get the chance to recommend therapy for him to just explore things that happened and what he did, do so. It will only help him. And you do want to make sure that if he has his own kids, that he won't hurt them. Ya know? As to your parents, did you tell them what was going on? I would suppose your mother turned a blind eye to it because it was either to painful to address or she flat out didn't believe her son would really do anything. A heart to heart would be helpful to clarify. Might be closure for both of you.
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