This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
I have a 7 year old son that lives with me and my husband, that he knows as his father. In the last week I went to a hearing for the unpaid child support that my son's biological father owes. My son's biological father decided that he was going to ask the court for mediation to see my son. I am in a bad spot not wanting my son to spend any time with him because he is not a good person and fits the bill for an unfit father.
Past info.- His biological father has not seen him since he was about 6 months old. He has never made any attempt to be in his life and the only reason he has ever seen him was because I took my son to see him. His biological father's family has also never tried to see him or even accepted him as their family.
My husband on the other hand was with me from the day I got pregnant. He was there when my son was born and has supported us ever since. So he has been the only man in my son's life. My husbands family also never denied my son and love him completely.
I have a hard time with the thought of even telling my son about his biological father, since my husband and I are going to try to take his rights and have my husband adopt my son. I do know though that regardless the subject will come up and eventually I will have to talk to my son about it. I am unsure how to explain this to my son about his biological father in way that he will understand and in the least harmful way to him, I do not want to change the fact that he is a very happy, loving child.
I have a seventeen year old son who did not see his father from the time he was 3 years old until he was 15 years old. The reason for this is a very long story but my feeling on this issue is that no matter what your child should know who there biological parent is, I never kept from my son who his father is and I let him once he was old enough make the decision as to whether he wanted him to be a part of his life. Well I am happy to say that I took him to see him in a wal mart on thanksgiving of 2009 and in december of 2009 we have all been together as a family it is the best choice we have ever made. So my advise to you would be if your child is mature enough to understand explain it all to him and let him make the decision, because if you do not give him the option and he someday finds out he may resent you for not letting him know about the other side of his family. I also have to say you have an amazing husband thank god he did step up and be your sons daddy. Your son will figure out that his sperm donor is not a good person and will have more love and respect for you and your husband when its all said and done.
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