Daughter taken from me. I feel so empty.

[mia2009]

I have a nine year old daughter that I haven't seen in almost four long years. When she was five her father got a good job in Brunei (we lived in London) and wanted us to move there. I did not want to because I don't know the country whereas he did, he grew up there. I wanted by daughter to stay with me even if we were struggling for money. Long story short, in the end he and his family won. They took my daughter and threatened to take me to court. We eventually went to court - I fought for my daughter but the judge was unfair. He gave my daughters father complete control.
I send her birthday cards, write her letters but I do not know if he gives them to her. I do not know what he tells her about me. He sends me pictures of her which I treasure. I'm happy that she's living a privileged life and being educated in a prestigious private school - she has a better life there than she would have had with me in London.It's an emptiness I can't explain that I am feeling...I have no words to describe it. My little girl is growing up into a young woman without me. I don't even know if she still loves me. I do believe it was her fathers family who were the masterminds behind this ( they dislike me).
Now there is a glimmer of hope that I may be reunited with my baby. But where do I start? How do I even begin to explain my four year absence? How do I get to know her like I should?  

[margypops]

I feel so much for you and am willing you to make this happen so you may get to see your daughter,it seems very bad that an English Judge would allow her to be taken form the country where he Mother is living,actually removed an English citizen from the country or was it in Brunei?.now I do not profess to understand the system.or what happened here. It occurs to me you could find a way to visit her, would you be able to get permission to see her from whoever has that control,maybe the first step is to get some legal advice, my heart goes out to you, I expect she misses you also.,and I feel sure she does love you.If you get a reunion with her you tell the truth explain the circumstances.I dont know if a private school is a better life than one with her Mother, Please let us know how this goes, seek some legal help to make it happen .

[schoolsurehaschanged]

Keep a journal to give to her when she comes seeking you.  Things you want to tell her, lessons on life, picture for her to see of you.  It is natural for a child to wonder, and when she does, you will have a book filled with love for her.  Until then, if you can afford it, legal action might be the only route.