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Gifted 9 year old - emotional problems
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Gifted 9 year old - emotional problems

I have a 9 yr old girl who's extremely bright.  By all reports, her behavior at school is great - she's respectful and considerate of others.  She takes responsibility for her own schoolwork and receives great grades.

As soon as she comes home, she becomes an angry, rebellious child who "wants to live somewhere else" and "hates everyone".   Her attitude towards her parents and siblings is horrible.  She frequently refuses attempts to discipline her and ends up being punished even more.  We have tried removing privileges, taking away toys, time-outs and even spanking.  Her response is always "I don't care - do it."  This morning she told me to "kick her out of the house".  

She's behaved this way since the "terrible 2s". She usually apologizes for her behaviors at the end of the day (at bedtime).  We're at our wits end!  
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She obviously prefers her school recognition and attention to anything else.

I believe you could shift her stance, by first warning her that you will report her behaviour to her Head Teacher, and if that does`nt work, then yes you may certainly suceed by carrying out your threat....Regards UK Ray
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My six year old performs well at school but says that she does not have to perform well at home--good manners and the like.  I told her that school is one place where we have manners but that we learn to use them at home--home is the first place that it is important to be respectful--it teaches us how to be respectful when we leave our home.

I told her that it does not matter if we are only good at school--that we must also be good wherever we go--and that includes home.

Sometimes smart children enjoy external and peer recognition for their intelligence and performance;however, they sometimes think that parents are not official authority figures. I tell my daughter that I am her first (along with her father) and most important authority figure--I help her learn to have good manners and learn how to get a good education so that she can have a good life.

She may, being gifted, enjoy talking with you in this manner.  My daughter loves "grownup" conversations and topics.

Maybe she thinks of you as inferior?  If she thinks of you as intellectually inferior that may explain her behavior in that she does not want to waste time being taught or led by you as an authority in her life.

Maybe that will help?

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