This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
I have been with my second wife for 7 years now living together for 5. She as well as I have 2 children from a previous marriage.
My 2 sons are aged 12 and 9 and live with my ex and I have access everyother weekend and certain holidays..
My current wife has 2 children aged 15 and 11. Her son is 15 and her daughter is 11.
The problem is with her daughter ever since she was 5 (I'll call her Kandi) Kandi has been spoiled by her previous husband as well as my current wife. Now my wifes ex husband is an in the closet homosexual that will not expose himself.
Kandi is now 11 and her behaviour and I believe the biggest part of her behaviour is re-enforced by her mother and not corrected. Here is my story.
Right from the start of our relationship Kandi always played up to her mom and acting like the baby monkey couldn't be no further than 2 feet away from her mother.She would become extremely jealous when anyone would try to get her moms attention. It did seem to settle down a bit when we moved into our house and her 2 children came to live with us. Her ex has everyother weekend access as well as a mid-week dinner.
Now that she is 11 as soon as her mom gets home from work BOOM Kandi is right at the door to welcome her home. The rest of the night my wife spends the time doing most of her sons high school homework and helping Kandi with her work. I have offered before but am never asked....So why bother to offer anymore. As soon as the school works done the three of them stay together and chat, Where ever my wife goes Kandi is with in 2 feet of her. She mimics everything my wife does from calling our dogs little pet names to the way she acts. My wife treats her as if she is a 20 year old when she is only 11. I think she acts more like an 8 yr old..
I have told my wife that I would like for her to spend the same amount of time with me as she does her kids. She has taken that as an ultimatum and has said we should just go our own ways because I'm jealous of her children. I told her if I am then it was her that caused the jealousy. She had said during an argument one day that things change and that the kids come first........Any suggestions???
It would be a good move to have some fun with them all in the evenings including your partner, you do sound jealous of the attention she gives her children, they need that attention and so do you, make sure you and your partner spend quality time alone, but also you could join in with them in the evenings and weekends, Games and Fun, all go for walks ,bike rides, play Monopoly, or scrabble. You are feeling left out so dont let your self be , you can change the dynamics here, Good Luck
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