How do I discipline my 9 year old who is getting out of control?

My 9 year old son has started changing right before my eyes.  He was diagnosed with ADHD two years ago and has been on Metadate CD.  The medication has been working well for him.  In the last month, his behavior has been changing drastically.  He got into trouble in school for taking a knife(he only wanted to show his best friend how cool it was and he never opened it).  He was suspended for two days for this. During his suspension, he started stealing. He was at his sister's house and took a cell phone and a lighter.  Four days later, he stole toys and money at the babysitters house. We made him return everything and apologize.  He was punished by no TV or games.  Last night, we caught him playing with fire. He had gone into the garage and taken his father's torch and was lighting papers on fire outside.  He has been showing alot of anger lately.  If he doesn't get his own way, he will yell and hit the wall.  He is scaring me and we don't know how to discipline him, nothing seems to make any difference.  Just a little background on him:  He is adopted and he does know this.  He has never expressed any concern about it.  He is also being kept back into 3rd grade due to reading comprehension skills.  We just need help.  We love this little boy so much but just don't know what to do.

[myenzoorka]

I can't offer much help with your situation.  I do suggest that you NEVER connect this behavior with him being adopted.  My husband was an adopted ADHD kid with some major behavior problems - his mother would often tell him that she knew he was acting like that because he hated her because he was adopted - that was flat out wrong!!!  She now has the attitude that any time he argues with her or even just doesn't agree that it's all because he was adopted - it drives him up the wall.  

As for help - maybe you should check with his doctor about his meds.  Their effectiveness can change over time.  Also, I would be willing to bet that your son is very unhappy about repeating 3rd grade.  It's not reasonable to hold an ADHD child back because of reading comprehension - that's kind of like holding a dyslexic child back because they still misspell words.  The school should have an IEP (individualized education plan) in place for your son - and I would check to see if they are allowed to hold him back based solely on reading comprehension (because that doesn't sound kosher, so to speak).