How to show my son love?

[Chechixbear]

I was a victim of rape but decided to keep my son now I feel like I can't show him love.
My mother never showed me love & it hurts just thinking that I may be doing the same to him. Please help me.

[nicolelangager]

I have found that family counseling is very helpful!

[mzmartinez13]

I know the post was kind of old, but I was really hoping you would see my response! First, I wanted to just really, truly commend you on choosing you be so brave. Keeping a baby after being raped had to be so hard, and after having a hard childhood that decision had to be especially difficult. One thing that I hope that you can find comfort in, EVERY mother, EVERY mother that is worth anything in this world worries about if they're giving their kid enough attention.  So it sounds like you're on the right track already!  There is no right way with kids, there's no handbook to follow, no rules, no one way to do it to make sure they know. They just know. Tell him you love him, kiss him on the forehead, hold his little hand, jump in puddles with him, watch his favorite movie 101 times with him, read him that bedtime story just one more time, tell him you're proud of him, tell him he's a good kid, tell him he deserves good things, take him places with you,  teach him things you like to do, these are things that show him you love him!  Our kids look at us through different lenses, we're totally different people to them, that's a beautiful thing. You love your son, you showed that by keeping him, you're already the best mom in the world!!!!

[Chechixbear]

Thank you all for your advice. I really appreciate.

[RockRose]

I meant to add,  google "Protective Parenting" and your city,  and links will come up that will be helpful.  

[RockRose]

You didn't list where you live,  but CPS offers "protective parenting" and other classes that will help you parent.  Some are court ordered to attend due to abuse situations,  but many in the classes are there to learn on their own volition.  

I agree,  if you didn't have a loving mother,  the chances are great that you will need help learning how to mother your child.  In my observation,  women who had inattentive/unloving/absent mothers just have to muddle their way through it when they are a mother themselves.  Those moms,  like you,  who recognize the problem and sincerely want to do better often go off in the wrong direction - being obsessive about the child's cleanliness and appearance,  and over doing the material possessions the child gets while missing the emotional relationship part.  

Do you have anyone in your family who can mentor you?  An aunt,  or grandmother or family friend who is an attentive loving mother?

Best wishes.  Since you have recognized the problem and are reaching out for guidance,  you're halfway there.  ;D

[Harv_c]

I am so sorry.  
Now, this goes deeper than any comments that can be said here, since it goes back to your childhood and starts with a traumatic experience.  But it may be comforting to know that many Moms are concerned over what amount of love is just right.  Not enough and too much spoiling go hand in hand and the amount to show is constantly changing as children grow.  
You are on the right track by recognizing it and reaching out.  You may want to join a community group here where you can discuss this with many other moms felling the same.
You should search out to the right professional counselor or psychologist in your area to get past the negative parts of your situation.  
They both will advise you to have conversations with our mother, this would be a good place to start.  Do not confront her with blame, hurt, or arguments.   Instead address your current situation asking for help.  Parents most often realize their short comings after the fact.  Most would like to rewind the clock and do it right.  Many have background details of their own that forced their situation.   This may take several discussions to break barriers but it will be worth it.
Keep in mind that a son will always love his mom, no matter what,