My 7year old wont listen and gets violent

[Jenn3114]

My 7 year old doesn't listen to me and gets violent when I try to get him to do something. He will hit, kick, pinch, bite, throw things. I have tried no tv, taking toys away and spanking him, and time out. I don't know what else to do. He is a straight A student at school and very good. Only acts like that at home. What should I do to get him to listen to me?

[alid32]

I would agree with Annie. I think seeking out professional help is a good idea at this point. I will say that one reason that he might be acting out at home is that he feels safe there. It's an odd thing, but children will often act out on the people that they love the most as they know that those are the people that they can trust the most. I wouldn't rule out something at school as he may not know how to deal with it there and in turn it spills out on you at home. Have you had a recent changes at home- death, remarriage, a move? All of those can trigger irrational responses in children. Another ting I would do is speak to his pediatrician.Not only can there be an emotional issue but there can be a metabolic reason as well- urinary tract infections, ear infections, certain illnesses or disorders. All stuff they can rule out. My son had violent outbursts for a long time and we went all over trying to get the right diagnosis. He ended up being on the spectrum for Autism. He's doing much better now with meds and specialized therapists. So definitely reach out to more than one provider- maybe even start with your pediatrician  and they can probably make recommendations on where to start for treatment. Good luck and know you can get through it!

[AnnieBrooke]

My suggestion is, if he does it at home and not at school, for you to talk to a family counselor about what is going on, what the dynamics are at home.  Then possibly some all-family counseling.  In other words, he can control himself at school for whatever reason, and not at home ... it is not like he does this all the time.  So the question is what is making the difference at home.  Possibly something you don't see as a problem is causing a big problem for him.  My belief is that kids don't do something like you are describing for no reason.  See if you can work out (with a counselor who has seen lots of families) what is causing him to act out.