My nine year old only plays on computer

[mansha]

My son lately loves playing only on computer or watches tv. He does finish his homework but cries if we try and regulate his tv watching  or computer( I mean if we say" no you can not play computer or watch TV  give it a break for sometime."). He will try and be extra helpful while he is on computer or TV but thats because he knows I will shut down the Tv or computer if he didn't get up and listen. He never wants to go out for the same reason that if we are but he can play games or watch TV un disturbed. He used to study well too on his own but recently his grades have fallen. He is not enthusiastic about any sports or music or anything at all. Just computer game or TV. If we try and stop both things he will laze around and say he is bored. I feel he is not energetic too. Infact more like a couch potato. I admit I am strict with him  but I feel he is growing up and soon he will start fighting back too as he enters his teens. Plus now he needs to have fixed hours of study and play too. That is not happening. His routine is come back from school, have food , play computer game, do home work then play computer game or watch tv tll dinner time have dinner and sleep. At times if we go out for some social engagement he will not get up from the computer till we get back. I want to regulate his routine differently. I want to know if I am rightly woried and what can I do to get him out. Recently I saw his slogan in his diary"Life is too hard .. so take it easy." And I am worried what is a child like him grow up to be. I mean shouldn't one have passion for something creative or energetic.

[margypops]

It is up to you to regulate the time he spends in front of the TV and the Computer, you are the Parent , you allow him about an hour or so and then thats it for the night same with TV . His grades will continue to slip if you dont take control, and he needs exercise and sports if he had less of the Tech stuff ,more Physical activities he would get used to it. and come to enjoy the high that comes from  exercise . If you cut the Computer and the video games he would be more motivated, its entirley in your hands.

[RockRose]

I completely agree with Margy.  

It sounds like in your house,  he is allowed to play computer as long as while he is doing it,  he is compliant and pleasant mannered when he is interrupted.   It sounds like you leave him completely alone and unsupervised in your home while both parents go out to other activities and when the parents return he is playing computer still.  Is that right?

This needs to change.  He needs to have a schedule you agree with (whatever it is - an hour a night,  2 hours a night,  5 hours a week,  whatever) and he needs to be allowed to play the computer during that time without being interrupted and having to placate.

And he needs to not be left alone in the home for long evenings - he's only 9 years old.  A parent needs to be there with him,  or another adult who is responsible for him.  

[Kage_no_Taren]

Like all people in school right now, he is under an unprecedented amount of pressure.  Keep that in mind.  That said, I would recommend requiring that he do -some- kind of physical activity (let him choose what), and as long as he does, and keeps up with his grades, let him use his f free time how he wants.  

[Ravare]

Dont let him spend so much time on the computer and the TV, it doesnt stimulate his mind at all. Especially if he is playing computer games. Trust me I am a 25 year old male who loves to play computer games, but even I have to regulate myself and how much time I spend on the computer.

With a child as young as he is, if he is starting to watch too much TV and be on the computer alot, he may eventually become anti-social and rely on the electronics for his interaction needs.

Im sorry but this generation of kids need to be taught to get out and play at the park and do outside activities, the electronics are not the babysitter for the child. Engage the child in some sports or some projects around the house that does not involve electronics. Dont let your kid turn into a zombie. You are the parent, you regulate his use, not him or his behavior.

[Ravare]

Im not trying to be mean or anything, but I see way to many cases where children are playing games like "World of Warcraft" (which I play) and the kids play for long hours and the parents blame the game and call it "addictive". If the child is in your house and you pay the bills, you have the final say so in their use of the computer and TV.

Will the child throw a fit or get mad if they dont get their way? Most likely, but provide them some alternatives. Also, did you and your spouse leave the child alone at home by himself at the age of 9?

With the amount of bad stuff on the internet and on TV, I think that is way to young to leave a child un-supervised with access to what is out there in the world. There are security measures that you can put in place on the TV and the computer to regulate what he has access to. However if the child is playing online computer games, he is exposed to a HIGH volume of un-appropriate conversations especially from adults. I cant count how many times I have read things that are offensive even to me at my age and I can imagine how that can effect a 9 year old child.