My son who is now 10 has never willingly slept on his own

[Isacoco]

Ever since he was a baby he always slept initially in his cot in our bedroom. Then as he got older he started sleeping in our bed. He never agreed to sleep in his room in his bed for the whole night. My now ex husband was never one to let him cry on and on, and always gave in and let him sleep in bed with us. As he got bigger and there was less room in our bed, my ex husband would go and sleep in my sons bed and son would sleep next to me, this was up until he was 7 and after that, my ex husband and I ended getting seperated due to other marrage problems.  I left the house and went to accomodation that was not particularly suitable for a child (like a hostel) so I left him with his dad.  Since that time, my ex husband has moved in with my mum and brother.  My son still sleeps in bed with his dad on most days and one night with his granma.  I have insisted to sll of them that this should stop but they dont listen and allow this to continue.  Whenever my son comes to stay with me during his holidays, it is a mundane and nightmare task to get him to sleep on his own, but I still get him to do it, even though it takes hours of effort and him crying like its the end of the world.  Each day he is anxious about what is going to happen that night, whether I will sleep next to him and its a dilema each night, until he does it for the time he is with me, at most for one month in a row. Then when he goes back to his dad, its back to the same old routine of sleeping with his dad or granma.  They get upset with me that I force him to sleep on his and make him cry and upset during his holiday with me. I dont know what to do, I am lost and have a battle that I am fighting on my own now. Please help.

[margypops]

Poor boy he must be very confused, I think you should all be on the same page and think of his welfare, it would be better if he slept in his own room in his own bed when his is at anyones house..it is the adults in his life that need to get their act together. he is getting mixed messages and always has done from what I read in your post,Get togther with whoever has control of his life and agree to start him in his own bed in his own room, he wont like it at first,  but after a few days he will realise if all are consistant that ,that is the way it is going to be.I am not surprised he is anxious and it will get worse .You cannot insist when you arent there, if he is with them they take control but you can communicate to them and ask them to try...