Need help with my 11 year old

[MomN830]

I have two boys a 9 year old and an 11 year old. I have been married for two years but he is not the father of my children. I am having trouble with my 11 year old. He has been disrespectful to both myself and my husband. He will call us names, throw things around and fight with his brother when he gets in trouble. He lies about not having homework. He basically does not want to do anything I ask him to do. I have punished him by taking everything away from him (electronics) and not being allowed to go to his friends house but he still acts up. I'm at my wits end on what to do. Does anyone have anyone have any advice.

[kevin680]

Sounds like your 11year old son may by missing his dad have your been able to let your sons see there dad?
Many children can play up or act out when they lose touch with a parent after separating.
Try talking to your 11year old son and spend some time with with a game he likes.
Hope this helps

[UnsureMS]

If you had a very close relationship with your 11 yr old he maybe starting to feel replaced or like he isn't getting enough time with you. From my experience kids tend to act out at the age when they feel replaced or insecure. My little girl (step daughter) is 12 and her dad had made a few choices last year that made her feel unsure about his love for her. So she started acting out and saying hurtful things to him.

It took him sitting her down and talking to her and explaining just what her and her brother meant to him. Even more so it took him proving it. Children want to feel like they are loved. I am not sure if your boy is feeling something similar or not. But I would truly try getting some one on one time and talking to him. 11 yrs old now a days are seeing more hearing more and dealing with more then what we did.

Sometimes I think that this makes it even harder for them to deal with their emotions. Another thing to try since taking stuff didn't work. Have you tried positive reinforcement? What I mean is tell him if he acts right then he will get something special. Start with the bigger behaviors that are major issues such as fighting with his brother and calling you and your husband names. Then work through the smaller issues. Getting him to change one behavior at a time.

As for his homework get in touch with his teachers and see if you can't work something out to where you are notified about his homework, and or behavior. You are going to have to get proactive in his schoolwork and life to keep him on the right track. I hope these suggestions help. May God Bless you and your Children...
Kimberly