Over emotional 5 year old

[mswinpooh]

We have a 5 1/2 year old little girl. She is EXTREMELY intelligent - speaking and walking way ahead of schedule She is in kindergarten - and doing well - except for being the drama queen!
She cries - easily and often. If something does not go her way - she breaks down. This is true at school, at home and even in the middle of a soccer game. Today alone we had five meltdowns because she missed the goal, some one did not pass her the ball, she did not get cake at a party, she dropped her water, and she had to clean her room. We are talking HUGE meltdowns.

Developmentally she has been way ahead of schedule for everything else. Currently, we try to do positive rewards for proper behavior (stars on the star chart for a prize) and time out - but am at a loss for what else to do.It seems to be getting worse not better.....

[jdtm]

My main concern is that it is genuine uncontrollable emotion over odd things such as a phobia about the toilet blocking up and what would happen, she comes down form bed when she is trying to go to sleep in tears saying that she is upset because she leves us so much, she worries about things that havent happened and probably never will like the house setting on fire etc.  --  your words


This paragraph "screams" anxiety - probably GAD (generalized anxiety disorder).  I might suggest you google the phrase "children and GAD" or "anxiety and children" or similar words/phrases to see if the description reminds you of your daughter.  

If you feel your daughter might suffer from GAD, then visit her pediatrician or the family doctor.  If he/she is unable to help you, then ask for a referral to a medical specialist with epxerience in anxiety disorders.   Anxiety is very common among children and highly treatable.  I would like to mention that if anxiety is the issue, then I assure you that your daughter will not outgrow it nor will it go away, and your daughter will require help to learn how to manage her fears.  I wish you the best .....

[LEAPOW]

I Have a 5 1/2 year old daughter who is highly emotinal on a daily basis over varying situations. My main concern is that it is genuine uncontrollable emotion over odd things such as a phobia about the toilet blocking up and what would happen, she comes down form bed when she is trying to go to sleep in tears saying that she is upset because she leves us so much, she worries about things that havent happened and probably never will like the house setting on fire etc.
I wondered if anyone has had similar issues before I seek medical advice.

[ruthytooth]

Our 2 should get together....or not! Exactly the same. Little girl of 41/2. Very bright and empathic but unable to handle any emotional upset. Has been like this since a baby when ahe cried for 9 hours a day for the first 9 months of her life....unstoppable. It does drive me mad as I am a "get on with it" person (now anyway) but just try to see that you really can't have everything at once. She is physically and intellectually ahead of most so will just be emotionally behind for a while. I don't like to think it is poor behaviour any more than being unable to walk at 18 months. It's just something they can't do yet.

[spodge]

I work with adults with challenging behaviour and have two boys (5+7).  At work, we always use the RAID approach - reinforce appropriate and ignore difficult or disruptive.  I used this at home with my oldest who had real emotional issues as well, although this manifested itself at bedtimes rather than as tantrums, and it worked really well.  Stay calm, don't react, don't give in, don't get angry.  If she has a tantrum, ignore it unless she does something dangerous or against someone else.  If that happens, calmly tell her that it is unacceptable and that she will be punished (however you usually do it) if she does it again.  Basically, just keep really calm and act like your not interested in her show.  On the other hand, heaps and heaps of praise when she behaves well, really over the top.  Kids want to feel like they have some control over something and they want attention.  They don't care if that attention is good or bad, as long as they are getting it.  If you show her that she is not going to get any attention unless she behaves well, she eventually will behave.  It does take time and initially her behaviour may get worse as she tests whats going on but it does work.  Strangely, my emotional child is also highly intelligent.  My younger son was more or less on target developmentally and is alot calmer and more grounded.

[raymoe]

Its a real possitive thing to reward a child for doing good, and you need to use the reverse (taking away stars for misdeeds etc) ,,, Maybe also to showing happiness with smiles for + things, you could express unhappiness for - things.
Regards UK Ray.