This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
I send my son 11 to sport overnight camp yesterday. Today I got a call from a camp director, he told me my son stranded one of his roommates and both of his roommates feel threatening by him. I asked if any of his roommates are fine, and non injured by any way. The director said they both fine, but I have to pick up my son immediately, otherwise he will be isolated. He also refuses to give me any refund. When I arrived to pick up my son, he was on the parking lot with the director, with all his belongings. I again asked the director what happen, and how other kids were threatening by my son. He would not give me any more explanation. Then I asked my son, he told me he was playing around and pull a necklace on one of the boy neck but let it go immediately when boy told him he can’t have any air. My son also told me he basically did not have any opportunity to defend himself, because as soon as he admitted pulling on the necklace, the director stopped listening to him. I asked director if this punishment is too severe for what my son did, and if it is possible just make my son to apologize for the kid and be moved to another room. The director said in his opinion it is a very serious crime and my son would be arrested if he call the police. Then I asked him if he can give me some written paper what would state what my son was expelled from a camp and why. He refused. My question is what can I do? I feel it was very unfair to me and my son. Please give me some advice.
I would say that you do need more details of exactly what the incident was all about and whether your son started it.I guess they have rules so I am uncertain what you can do but certainly you want full details maybe in writing of what happened .
Oh goodness. I will tell you that they should have told you why he had to leave but what your son told you is reason enough. Pulling on a necklace so that someone has trouble breathing is a huge problem. He made a bad choice for sure. And if it were playful, would two boys say they felt threatened by him? This leaves me to wonder if he wasn't menacing in some way about the other kids. Was it his idea to go to camp? Does he have any social problems elsewhere? Has he gotten in trouble for aggressive behavior before?
A camp has a duty to provide for the safety of the kids. I had a boy put his hands around my own sons neck this past school year. It is a terrible feeling to think someone might purposely or carelessly hurt your child and especially if they are away at camp away from you.
I am not saying your boy is terrible or horrible, but he made a bad choice with his actions. Kids do that and the key is to use it as a learning experience so that some positive can come out of it.
I'd contact that school and ask for a full acount of what happened. I totally agree with you that you need the details from their point of view. Maybe your son was given too little slack but you should know why.
We are there to support and advocate for our kids and if he hurt or scared other kids, you want to know about this to help teach him. If he was unfairly accused, you want to comfort him and again, coach him about how to handle things next time.
Peace and good luck. I've been ont he side of having a child who has gotten hurt and I've had the child that I got a phone call about (same kid!). It really stinks and hurts a mother's heart both ways. Peace and luck to you and your boy.
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