Restricted visits keep dad away....

[motherintexas]

My ex-husband was arrested for DWI while driving with my daughter 2 years ago.  The law restricted his visits temporarily. (He still has not gone to trial for this one)...Meanwhile, he gets his visitation rights back and I catch him myself with my daughter in the truck with him drunk.  He was fighting with girlfriend and being very beligerant.  I took him back to court and his visitation rights were changed.  Before he had usual rights.  Since April he has to drive to the town where I live (about 3 hours from him) and meet me at a public place to have visits with our daughter.  (no driving)...then for 8 visits he could come to my home pick her up and keep her in the town we live in.  Meanwhile while doing this restricted visitation he is to take a rehab program and successfully complete it to get his rights back.  Since the trial in April he has only been to see her 3 x....He has told her that he is not getting her any Christmas presents until she can come to his house.  She is only 8.  She has began acting up in school alot.  Getting marks in her folder daily when before she was a good student.  I have a wonderful husband of 2 years that is great to her.  He is a wonderful role model but she is very standoffish to him.  She refuses to accept his caring and love towards her.  I know it is probuably a defense thing.  My worries are....that she is becoming emotionally damaged by her dads absence.  I am so worried that oneday she will blame me for her dad being absent.  Her dad blames me for not letting her come to see him.  She says she understands why she is not allowed to go to dads but...does she really?  Does anyone have any advice for me?  HELP  

[worried_stepmom03]

If family counselling available? Your ex husbands alcoholic behavior is affecting her. Even though he has been stopped from endangering her life physically, he is doing it emotionally now with not even being there. She has no trust in male figures so maybe that is why she is so standoffish to your new husband.