This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
My daughter is 7. I had her young, and am married to someone else. Lately, I've just been really fed up with her father being in & out of her life.
He does not see her regularly even though I feel like I talk to him pretty regularly because he is always trying to see her, only to cancel. He's been flaky like this for years, and her disappointment and sadness only grows every time she doesn't see him for ages, gets her hopes up by making plans, only to cancel usually the day of. Frequently, the plan would be to pick her up from school. He'll tell me that morning that he can't, & I'll be forced to tell her on the way to school that he won't be getting her, (I wouldn't mention it myself, but she constantly talks & asks about it when he makes plans with her, so I have no choice). She breaks out crying, which is the last thing I want to see, especially when she's about to get out of the car into school. It's to the point where my husband and I will start to make a plan of something fun to do the day her dad tries to have her, to take her mind off of it and keep her from being upset when he eventually cancels. It breaks my heart to see her so sad.
Yet, her father acts like somehow I'm the one preventing him from seeing her. He has told my mother this as well. It's baffling. He just canceled 2 days ago, and the day after (yesterday) he texted me to ask me if he files for custody every other weekend, am I going to fight it. I don't know why he would do that when he can't even keep the very rare plans he does make. (fyi I would love if she had a father who was truly responsible and loving enough to want to take her every other weekend, but he's a joke.) After this threat, I feel like I need to take some course of action, whether I just refuse communication with him any more, or something else.
He also has a younger child with another woman who has caused problems in the past by making it very difficult for him to see our daughter. I don't think they are together any longer, but I'm not sure if she is behind any of this. But she doesn't even let him take their daughter on his own at all; it has to be all 3 of them or nothing. He's complained about this to me before, so I am not sure why he is focusing any court stuff on me instead of her. Frankly, I'm sick off all this, I feel it's quite dramatic and I would love nothing more than to cut off communication. My daughter asks about her dad all the time, though. Thankfully, she does have a stepdad whom she loves very much. Is it ok to just completely ignore her dad's texts and calls?
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