Very concerned about by daughter

[syz]

Hi all
I am concerned over my 8 year old daughter's excessive worrying and anxiety. She seems to be worried about so many things from school, friends, her diet, war, swimming, maths... I have took her to school today in tears and we have managed to speak to her teacher who has been very reassuring. I know that this is not the end of the problem though. She is a quiet, shy child who has extraordinarily high expectations of herself. Having said that she also has a wicked sense of humour and is well able academically.
She can have very negative thought processes and can be very pessimistic. Her self-esteem can be low as she is always comparing herself to others. I try to reassure her and always let her know that she is doing fine and is loved. I offer as much support as I can and always listen to her. However, this doesn't seem to be enough. I have recently been diagnosed as Bipolar 2, however I take care to manage my behaviour around my children. I was also a very anxious child and I wonder if she is heading in the same direction as me. My life from the age of 11 onward went into turmoil from mental health problems. I know these things can be genetic.
I have just managed to get her off to sleep.she was crying and saying things like 'I can't hold it in anymore I have so many worries, I am stupid, I hate this life, I want to die'.  She became almost hysterical.

Please, please let me know what you think, I am beside myself.

Thanks

Syz

x

[Sandmart]

My 8 year old sounds exactly like your daughter ! I am a born worrier too and don't want her to be the same. However, fundamentally you can't change a person's make up but you can make a difference. Love her to bits!!! Reassure her all the time! I know, it get's exausting but it will be worth it when she is older. I had no support and my father was a poor role model. I was never cuddled, hugged or kissed and even subjected to forms of sexual abuse.
My daughter annoys me because she is so clever. She says her worst subject is numeracy but she is 4 points above target!!! She doesn't believe she is clever and has threatened to buy a gun (when she is 18!!) and kill herself because the world would be a better place without her!

My daughter goes to her Dad's every weekend but will not stay there anymore. It has always been difficult for her on seperating from me and her Dad but just lately it has got worse. I am just hoping she will grow out of it but I am really starting to worry. She always asks to sleep in my bed, I gave in last week and she had a couple of nights in bed with me. How I regret that now! I had a huge row with her Dad because he says it is a backward step and there is no way she is sleeping with him at his house. He has told her this and I think she feels rejected!!

Doctors don't seem to be concerned but she is now seeing a parent support lady at the school.

Is there such a thing at your daughter's school? She needs to say how she feels. Sometimes at 9 they act so grown up but they are still little girls who want attention.

Good luck and keep smiling!

[scarlettsmama]

(this is not my account, its my sisters)
Hi, I'm 17 years old and your daughter sounds EXACTLY like me (at her age and now). I have always worried about everything you could actually think of and I haven't changed. Although when I was eight I don't want to kill myself. I suffer from anxiety and I'm such a perfectionist - to the point where if I get a B in an exam I feel so depressed (I'm a straight A student) I always put too much pressure on myself. Now, at 17 there are times when I can't cope with all my anxiety I do want to commit suicide - it's very scary and I'm too scared to tell anyone. Talk to your daughter, get her to open up and calm down before it gets worse - like me.

[jdtm]

I suspect that your child is suffering from anxiety - probably generalized anxiety or GAD (abbreviation).  I might suggest you google the phrase "anxiety and children" or  "generalized anxiey disorder and children" or "GAD and children" or similar words/phrases to give you a better understanding of this issue.  

I might suggest you contact your family doctor re this issue.  If he/she is unable to help you, then ask for a referral to a medical specialist with experience in anxiety issues.  Anxiety is highly treatable; however, the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  Many children today are diganosed with anxiety at a very young age so eight years of age is not considered "young" in this mental health issue.  By the way, anxiety tends to be an inherited trait.  I wish you the best ....

[DonnaB5]

Im so sorry you must be so anxious about this,, ive just looked at this forum because my 9 year old is worrying really badly about dying and there being nothing when he dies, and I dont know what to say to him.... think I will be having a chat with my doctor and see what he recommends..

You must be beside yourself for sure, and I wish I had the expertise to help you, but just know that you are not on your own in worrying about your children we all do it... its proves so much that we love them..

Im thinking of you .