Parenting Children (6-12) Community
Victim mentality
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Victim mentality

I have 2 children; the oldest, 13, the younger 11, both girls. The younger child is 'ensnared' in a victim mentality cycle where she overeats, will not groom herself, and picks fights with schoolmates to deny herself socialization. The older child is a bully, just like her father. I have finally gotten father to see what his legacy is and am trying to undo the bullying and self-destructive behaviors, one at a time, all with positive results/reinforcement. This is not going as well as I'd hoped. Any help?
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Have you tried a bully coach?  They help the "family" unit where there can be a "bully" and a "victim", both need help to find new ways of dealing with their lives in the family unit.  Dr Joel Haber wrote a book called "Bullyproof your chld for life", he has a website too, I'm not allowed to write it here but it is similar to the title of his book.

You could also ask advice from your pediatrician and your school, both should be excellent resources for you.

It's not too late, there is always a solution and you are certainly strong and brave to do something on your own.
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