child behavior

My 11 year old grandson has entered middle school (5th grade) and has suddenly had a complete personality change.  He has gone from being on the honor roll to failing and refusing to attend school.  He has low self esteme has threatened suicide.  What can I, as a grandparent do to help him??

[April2]

Middle school is such a huge adjustment from elementary school. They go from one teacher to 5 or more and changing classes. Plus, they are all going through puberty and are trying to figure out who they are and be "cool" and fit in with their peers. A lot to adjust to!
The biggest thing you can do for your grandson is to be there for him as much as you can. Spend quality time with him, just the two of you and ask him questions about his life and really listen to him. Show him that you care and will listen.
The grade drop can be from so many different things. It could just be the adjusting to a new school and new classes. Once they're in middle school they do tend to expect more out of them, including writing down their assignments. Make sure he's getting all his assignments. An assignment book is a good thing to have. He may need help getting and staying organized. Does he have a folder for each class, clearly marked? Or does he just cram all his papers in his backpack, a sure way to lose something!

Tell him that you want him to succeed and ask him how you can help. Be respectful of his feelings. Ask him how he's doing with his classmates. Does he have any friends? What are they like? Do they treat him well? Is he being bullied or picked on? Often times they will not tell anyone if they are.
The best thing you can do is be there for him and show him he can always talk to you and you will listen.
I think it's wonderful that you want to help. He needs support and encouragement.

Also, we have a child behavior forum where you can get more answers if you'd like to check it out. Best wishes to you and your grandson!

[nanadance]

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement.  I am really worried and since I am only the grandparent I feel limited as to what I can do.  The parents don't always welcome my suggestions.  They are divorced but seem to work together pretty well together where their son is involved.  I do think they "baby" him  and don't encourage him to be independent.