This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
Hi, this is my first attempt to post a question here. :-) I am a step mom of a 6 year old girl, for the past 2 years my fiance and I have been battling with custody. And I say this this way because, her biological mother has given up on her. She has given her up twice now, and it has finally went through court that we have full custody of her. To get to the point of my question, she has been kissing boys in school this past year, doing inappropriate body movements to others, and though her dad and I have expressed to her about "good touch, bad touch" and affection towards others, its like she just doesn't listen. Her dad and I regulate what television programs she watches and its not that she is seeing us "make out" or anything. My big concern and worry is that its behavior she is mimicking from her mothers on visitation, or from the past. It has even gotten to where she has pushed a boy down at school and wouldn't stop kissing him. How can you tell if its just showing affection in the wrong way? Or if its something more worrisome? Also, we have had her in family therapy for the big change of not really seeing her mother that she does miss, but you can't tell a 6 year old her mom doesn't want her, we just feel a little stuck about how to deal with this.
What your step daughter requires is individual mental health therapy. Family therapy is fine. However, she has many issues that warrant individual therapy. It is obvious that she is coping with separation/loss issues. Additionally, it appears that she may have witnessed sexually inappropriate behavior or perhaps was sexually abused herself. These issues need to be sorted out by a mental health professional to determine the best course of action and treatment.
Thank you for your comment. The issue of her witnessing these type of behaviors is our fear. We have expressed our concerns to her therapist, and they are working on building trust with her to open up to talk more. Its a hard subject to talk about with her dad, no father wants to think that their child has been exposed to such things while being cared for by the mother. My step daughter doesn't really open up when a situation occurs, like the school incident, and I don't want to push her, but I wish I was a fly on the wall when she has been at her mother's. Thanks again for the comment and further mental health will be set in motion.
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