I have a 12 year old girl, she has always been a great kid, does very well in school, very popular, little kids love her, takes part in after school activities, has a big heart, always respectful and well mannered. This is her first year in highschool, one of her friends is heading down a totally different path & I'm hoping to get some advice on what to do.
She's known this girl since they were about 5, and this girl is almost 2 years older than my daughter. She is right into boys, all she cares about is boys right now & her mom doesn't approve, she's trying to date & have relationships (and probably have sec) but her mom isn't allowing it. She had threatened to move her daughter to a different province because of the attitude & rebellious behavior, my girl hears her friends side of the story. Its basically just "my mom hates me, that's why she doesn't let me have a boyfriend & is kicking me out, I didn't do anything". I told my daughter I'm pretty sure that's not the whole story & her friend has to be taking back & not listening for this to be happening. Now this girl is trying to persuade my daughter into skipping class.yesterday when she came home she told me.
I told my daughter she should try to find other friends, and she would be in BIG trouble if she ever skipped out. She said she knows that, & that's why she didn't do it, and why she told me. Its a turning point in my girls life, she's starting to have a life of her own. I'm so happy she's still honest with me & isn't following her friends footsteps but im just worried & don't know if I should let her keep hanging out with thus girl or not.
if you make her leave her friend she will hate and she will think that you are hiding something and that her friend is right ... she will have a negative reaction to your action and won't tell you stuff anymore
i think you shouldn't take her away from her friend just everyday ask her what happened and discuss with her the action of her friend and if she's convinced at the end she will drift away from her because you can't believe in something but live according to something else
Sometimes, I think you have to look a problem squarely in the eye if you want to work on it.
Since your daughter is very popular, she has her choice of most of the girls to befriend, and she's chosen this one to socialize with.
She's not in the position of a girl who has very few friends and has to kind of take an option she isn't choosing; your daughter is purposely dismissing "nice" girls to be with this wild one.
I think the problem lies in that - she's not being led astray against her will, she's interested in this girl's lifestyle and is drawn to it. She may not be acting out in the same way, but this girl has definitely caught her eye.
Can you focus on the girls in her after school activities and plan outings and activities with them?
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