help

I am worried about my 11 year old son. I have 3 boys, my 11 year old is the youngest. My oldest is 21 and I have a 13 year old. my oldest had a terrible accident when he was 13 and has taken alot of attention over the years but is finally doing alot better. My 13 year old is doing great, He is a star football player at school, lots of friends, really outgoing and funny. My 11 year old used to be very active in sports. He played travel basketball and had a great time.He is on the principles list at school.He wanted to give football a try and he had the worst experience ever. It was horrible, Terrible coaching, He ended the season feeling like a complete loser and never wants to play football again which is perfectly fine with me. I would never make him play a sport if he didn't want to. My concern is that since football season, he acts so depressed, He told me he wanted to try and play basketball again and I thought it would be a great opportunity to get the football season behind him and play a sport that he was really good at and enjoyed but it didn't turn out that way.  Almost from the first game he changed his mind and wanted to quite. He wouldnt interact with the other players on the team. he always wanted to be right next to me.He told me he was just tired and needed a break from sports. I said okay because I understood what he had just been thru. My deep concern is that now all he wants to do is stay in the house and play his xbox, It is like he is obsessed with it. I of course regulate his time but when he is not on it he complains about being bored. I make him go outside, I go outside with him. he just seems really unhappy and disconnected. He does have a group of friends and they are all really good boys, They come over and he wants to play video games, He does go to their house but they play video games over their and go outside and play. His friends are still active in other social activities( sports) but my son only wants to play video games! I ask him if he is interested in doing something like Dirt bikes, running, biking, the arts, gocarts anything! all he has to do is tell me and I will get into his world and open that door for him but all he says is I dont know then he gets teers in his eyes. I dont know what to do! I think it maybe time for a counselor. any suggestions?

[aid821]

It sounds as though he may be suffering with a bit of depession, or something had happened to him during one of his games (either when he tried football, or even basketball) that has made him go into his shell. Your son doesn't sound like a tough  or rough type of boy, and therefore he may have taken something to heart that has affected his confidence. Because you mentioned he was active and enthusiastic about sport, then to find he is unmotivated with tears in his eyes, tells me something has occured in that space of time. Have you talked to him and tried to find out if something happened? additionally, have you considered he may have entered puberty early? might explain the sudden lack of motivation and emotional changes. Hope you get to the bottom of it! :)

[momof211311]

Thank you for your response, yor right , he is a sensative child and he does take things to heart,His coaching staff for football were horrible. There team was considered by ths coaches a bad news bears type, The coaches made them feel not very talented and they lost every game. Icouldn't subject my son to that attitude from them. I stayed close by and was very involved during the season but he wanted to continue to play. He is not one to quite anything once he has started so again. I kept supporting him with positives about his ability now I regret that I let him continue because everything has changed. He is an excellent student.A sweet boy but he has always been the kind of child that has to be first, the winner at everything which I know is not a good thing, He is like that I believe because he feel he has to prove himself. An over achiever of some sort. He wont really talk to me about his feelings but i keep letting him know I am here to listen. I will always be.Maybe with some time it will get better and your right, he will be 12 in July so early puberty may be an issue also. Thank you