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is it harsh discipline

What do you do when you have a child that gets back at the mother, because the mother only wants to be mom when its convenient for her. So the child does thngs to make her mom mad, and is constantly in trouble? I have tried to talk to the mother and she dont want to hear it. She is trying to use the excuse the child has ADD, yet she only acts out like that at home around parents home.But the mother dont want to believe it.And the child is , I believe frustrated as to why the mom is on her so much, this mom s day consists of children running for her a lot during the day, and pay attention to them when she is ready, Her comment is what im suppose to be a mom 24 hours a day, this isnt the 50s anymore. And is good at telling the kids when she is mad at her mom , that her grandparents no longer love them. isnt that cruel or cant see  or stay with them ever again. I know the mom loves her kids very much, but the child told her recently that she wished she wasnt alive cause she is so bad and her brother is good. She gets the blame even when people tell her mom , the younger child did it. And the mother gets i think jealous if her children pay attention more to others when she is around and ask them who they love more, she carried them. To me thats childish, her children love her, and should be allowed to love other family members too. I think she is afraid they will love someone else more. And noone is trying to do that to her. But im worried about the child being pulled on with emotional feelings. Help
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Avatar universal
how old is this mother?  she does sound too immature to be a parent!  obviously there is no talking to her, so i would work on the kids as much as i can.  i too know a child who doesn't have ADD, but mom claims she does to excuse girls poor behavior towards a stepfather that treats her poorly.  so sad, that would be my step daughter.  i let her know she can talk to me openly and i will not tell anyone what she says unless she's going to hurt herself.  she also has a little brother that gets away with murder.  we talk, i make suggestions as to how she could handle things better, or just different, i encourage her when i see she is expressing herself in a good way, i never talk to the mother, she would not hear anything i have to say so i don't waist my breath, but my step daughter knows she has safe refuge hear and i am her friend, that, i guess, is the best i can hope for.
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535822 tn?1443976780
I am sorry and I do know what you mean I have seen this before, wher the older child is blamed for everything, other that speaking to her Mom and Dad I dont know what you can do for her ,I assume you are her Gran, and it is hard to stand by and see it happening,if she was abused you could call someone all you can do is be around as much as you can and  focus on her positive side ...It is a dilemma that many face as part of a family ultimately the parents get to  be in control, , I agree with you  however all you can do is support the child stick up for her when you can, I assume she isnt being hurt physically ...Hope it gets better for her as she gets older, she has you and I can tell you care a lot, its hard to stand by and watch ..I know ...
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