This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
So my nine year old went to see his dad and saw his presents in the closet before they were wrapped last year. Now when I talk to him about santa he always tells me hes not real because the presents in the closet were the gifts he got for christmas. He has five younger siblings so I feel bad lying to him trying to convince him other whys. My question is do you think its bad to keep lying for tradition? I no when I realized he wasnt real I was disapointed, and I kinda feel like sooner or later they will be too.
By 9, most kids figure things out. In my family my mom would take the (older) child aside and conspiratorially inform him or her that there wasn't, but that we keep this fact a big secret from the younger kids. For some reason, this always worked.
I was four when I realized Santa wasn't real - I sat in the Sears Department store Santa's lap, looked up and saw the fake beard and suddenly the entire thing came into sharp focus for me - that it was all a funny, fun hoax. For me, I enjoyed being 'in' on the hoax with younger kids - and so I agree with Annie, it's fun to keep the tradition going for small kids.
Nine years old is too old to believe in Santa, in my opinion. This interferes with their ability to reason and observe reality if they can't figure out that a big fat man in a red suit doesn't in fact visit every single house in the world in one evening bearing gifts. I think children around the age of 5 need to be encouraged to use their minds and question such silliness, and should be rewarded for being smart enough not to be fooled by that.
So good luck with your nine year old - get him to help put cookies out for Santa or things like that, all the while knowing he's "in" on the fun.
Both Annie and RockRose gave very good advice! I have 3 daughters ... and although they are grown up now, when they were little my oldest found out from a friend that Santa wasn't real. That is typically how they find out. My daughter was a bit disappointed when I verified that what she had heard was true. But she was wonderful about keeping that info from her younger sisters. In time, they too discovered that Santa wasn't real as well. That's when it became really hard to hide gifts from them! The transition from believing in Santa and then not believing was rather smooth with my girls ... they had terrific Christmas's either way! I wish you the very best and happy holidays!! :-) Take care!
Thanks for all the advice ladies I think im gona have a talk with him and give him a little wink when the younger kids are opening there gifts. I'll give him the big brother role and let him help me out a bit. I guess I just feel a little bad because my little boys growing up.
You did pretty well. I checked some sources, and apparently about age 7 is when most kids add it up. Your son will love the little wink, a secret between him and you that the younger kids don't know. Merry Christmas! :)
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