kindergartner won't go to school!

My daughter- 6- is wonderful most of the time, very sweet, happy, intelligent child. Started Kind. in september, fulld ay, after a year in 3x wkly 1/2 day preschool. She hates it. Gives my wife hell every morning, kicking, screaming, refusing to go in, etc. Today and the other day a security guard and/or teacher had to bring/carry her in. My wife takes her- I work- and yesterday I stayed home to take her to school, with NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER. My wife calls me crying and sobbing, saying she's giving up, etc. Earlier in the year she kept advocating home schooling, which is not viable for several reasons, and now I think my kid picked up on her hesitancy to put her in real school and is pulling at her heartstrings. WHAT DO I DO? I did rewards for a while and they helped, but apparently, not so much now.

[RockRose]

Here it is.  There may be something in here that might help you.  Sounds pretty much the same -

Best wishes.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/9yr-old-child-seperation-anxiety/show/1663970#post_7588733

[specialmom]

What is interesting is that you can take her with no issue!!   So, can you take her daily then?  That is what I'd do.  Or if there is a bus, have her ride it.  

I wouldn't take her out and home school her because of fighting mom about going.  But that is just my opinion on that.  You have to do what is best for everyone.

But I think it is very telling that you can take  her with no issues.  good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I also think you should take her.  Less trauma for everyone, as she adjusts to life in school.  

[Ana_87]

Shoulds like your wife needs to b more aggressive with her..my 2 little girls listen more to their father then me i duno why its frusating but once i start yelling they start to listen..

[Ana_87]

And as annie suggested if you can take her every morning then help your wife out since yur daughter doesnt act out on you

[Ajvia]

appreciate it. That's the problem- I can't take her. I go to work an hour and a half before her. Today I tried a new plan- got her up w/ me, an hour and a half before school, to eat and have some fun, play, etc, before school- I think the waking up, being tired, being rushed somewhere she doesn't want to go- that all plays into it. Today she was up, eating cereal and blueberries, watching LITTLE BEAR, and telling me she'd go to school w/ not prob. Hoping it works...

[margypops]

I think you hit the nail on the head , children hate to be rushed and getting up early is the answer, as you have found...Focus on her positive side and praise her when you see her doing something right .

[RockRose]

There was a VERY similar situation posted here - the child was a little bit older,  though - last week.

It sounds like the same dynamic to me at work.  It seems that your wife is telegraphing something to her somehow - maybe it's the rush rush rush thing,  I don't know - but it's not the school,  it's the mother/child dynamic that's causing this.

Let me see if I can find the other post.

[RockRose]

Here it is.  There may be something in here that might help you.  Sounds pretty much the same -

Best wishes.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/9yr-old-child-seperation-anxiety/show/1663970#post_7588733

[Ajvia]

thank you kindly. everyone has been very helpful so far- very appreciated. on day 2 of the new game- so far so good.!!!

[specialmom]

I'm glad it is working out better.  Our teachers of kindergarten in our school say that when you have a reluctant child, you must always remain VERY positive about school to them.  Hopefully your wife will remain so as well as I do think things rub off.  

good luck and continued success!

[Ajvia]

had an amazing week this entire Mon-Fri since I started the new plan. Asleep before 830 every night; this morning she was up BEFORE ME at 645 asking me to get up and have a bed bug fight and watch Little Bear. Yesterday she was telling my wife, "Mommy, come on, we're gonna be late for school." so, yeah, I think things are going well. thanks for all of your help and support...

[margypops]

You are welcome I have seen this work many times, children like to take their time it makes life so much easier than that big battle doesn't it, its not just mornings either kids just need more time and patience ..well done .

[specialmom]

Oh, I'm so happy to hear this.  Kindergarten is typically a 'fun' place that kids enjoy.  I'm glad she is seeing it that way now and that the new routine has helped her and your wife get there without a fight  .  .   .  and in fact enthusiasm.  Best of luck and wishing you continued success!