my 6 year old best friend died.

My son's bestfriend from school passed away over the summer. The boy had a heart condition and was on a waiting list for a donor heart but to no avail. I recieved the call this morning. My son just turned 6. Now there is a divide between my husband and i as to what to do. I want to tell my son and teach him and be there for him through out the process. My husband says he may not be going to the same school next year and that it would be too much for him to deal with at 6 years old. it may cause pycological problems for him. He says it dosnt matter if he finds out today or 10 years from now. I am just really confused now as to what is the best action to take, the funeral will be in the next few days so i dont have alot of time to figure it out.

[mom@homenow]

If it were me I'd tell him about his friend. Even if he does not attend the same school (and especially if he does) he may hear about it from other children anyway. Usually it is best to be up front about death, as hard as it is. However I don't recommend taking your son to the funeral, although you might want to attend as his "representative" since they were close friends and let the parents know how much their child meant to your son. This is not a relative so I don't see a reason to expose your son to such extreme sadness and if there are adults crying and it is very emotional, as often is the case when a young person dies, it may scare him. I think that funerals can be more traumatic for young children than knowing about the death of a friend or relative. This is just my opinion, based on seeing the reaction of my 6 year old when his aunt and then a classmate's mother died. I'm sorry you all are having to go through this and I wish you the best~