my 9 year old

i have a 9 year old girl and she is really great but i have some issues with her maturity i know at her age i can't expect much but i also have a 4 year old that sometimes seems to act a bit more mature that the other. my 9 year old cries when she doesn't get her own way or over just about anything and seems to copy my 4 year old alot,when playing with her friends she can be very demanding and cry to get attention from them as well. she seems to want control over everybody. i've tried to talk to her about the differences between her as a 9 year old and my youngest as a 4 year old and also tried to praise good behavior but she still seems to want to act this way i don't know what to do.

[specialmom]

She may just be immature.  Kids mature at different rates, for sure.  She may have a little jealousy of the 4 year old as well---- not because you've done anything to make her so, but it is pretty natural.  In her eyes, the 4 year old is cute, gets lots of attention and is cut more slack.  (all probably true, well, she's 4 vs a 9 year old).  So I would try to think of special jobs your 9 year old have to be your special helper.  Give her tons of praise when she does help.  I'd try to ignore the whining or crying. It's one of those things that kids often do because it works.  If it stops working, then she'll be less inclined to do it.  Try to spend some one on one time with her, maybe she could earn it with good acts around the house.  Good luck, and remember, it is hard being the older sister sometimes.