PARENTING CHILDREN (6-12)
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my child talks TOO MUCH
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by tripplebright, Aug 16, 2008
I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!
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by Beewoman, Aug 16, 2008
Honestly I can completely understand your frustration!  I have a son of 9 who talks nonestop and with a very loud voice, questions after questions.  What helped with him were the boundries..... we had family meetings every week to discuss what we could do to live better in our home.  He off course rattled off 50 ideas before we even picked up the pencil!

These children are bright and their brains work very fast, they are very frustrated too.  We seem slow to them and they are still so very young to cope with a calming down mechanism.  They are also anxious children, always wanted to "know everything" and get involved in everything.

It is however extremely tiring for everyone around them.  She is probably very creative, perhaps artistic?  or musical?  Explore which creative avenue you can and develop it in a very therapeutic way, calming.....  

I am reluctant to start therapy for a child so young, but that's my personal choice, however what does help are various books around that exist that perhaps can help you find some solutions for the home and school.  Check with your pedicatrian and he/she may be able to direct you.

My son has ADHD, but your daughter does not necessarily have this, once again check with your doctor.  I have been giving him Valerian drops (child strength) and it has really helped and is natural.  Also, magnesium too.

Remember, you are not alone and you are not horrible in any way, these children can try the patience of a saint but they are very special!
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by am05, Sep 02, 2008
I completely understand!!!!!!!!!!!  I just posted one about my daughter who is 6 and 8  mos.  She is the brightest little girl...but she is having trouble sitting still in class...talking, etc...and I fear that she too may be bossy.  She has a lot of friends...a very popular (hate to use that word but I am just meaning to say that she makes and keeps friends easily)...she will do anything to avoid doing her work at school and takes several bathroom trips and has all sorts of somatic complaints to share with the teacher instead of doing her work.  I do not know what to do....except just hope that as she matures some of this will go away....it is new and I did not have any trouble with her in the past....oh it is so frustrating and I feel like our relationship is even changing some because I have to treat her differently.  I feel like I have been such a good mother to her and spent so much time with her.....and now....has it helped or hurt her?  I am so concerned...and fear that it is going to get worse.  I have been on the computer googling ADDHD....and I am so not into her taking any meds...I do not really think she has it but I am just very worried.  So I share in your same worries.
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by Beewoman, Sep 04, 2008
First things first, as you are concerned about your daughter you should get her tested by a good child psychologist that will do the variety of tests : physcological (who they see the world etc) and educational tests (for learning disabilities).  About 40% of children with ADHD also have learning disabilities.

The doctor will be able to tell you if she has ADHD or not, or perhaps just some attention issues which of course is not the same thing.

Good luck and keep us posted if the diagnoisis is ADHD, there are some excellent books that can help you and her understand what is happening.
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by dilateyourmind, Nov 25, 2008
Just wanted to tell the OP we have the same daughter. *sigh* I did a google search of talking to much and found you all. My daughter is about to turn 5. ADHD runs in my family. I never thought I would yell at my child to shut up either.
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by MrsT0714, Nov 26, 2008
Reading your post it was as if you were describing my son.  He is 8 yrs old, very bright, and adhd.  Since kindergarten he has had the same issues in school, talking too much, very high energy, asking questions incessantly, (Is God married, why does the moon follow me home, what kind of car did your dad drive when you were little, can we go to the movies this weekend, and on and on and on)  Not only that, his teachers all told me that he was very bright, but had to be reminded constantly to keep on task, because he would talk rather than do his work.  He was seperated from the class, lost recess time, and almost failed the second grade.  But he was unhappy...he had a hard time making friends, and it broke my heart to watch him suffer...I finally medicated him at the beginning of the school year.  I didn't want to, and was very opposed to it.  However, the FIRST day he was medicated at school his teacher called me to tell me what a difference she saw. He was able to sit still, did not need constant reminders, rose his hand, did not blurt out answers in class, and behaved wonderfully.  So he has been on concerta for 2 months.  EVERYONE has noticed a difference with him, and besides all that, his report card was all a's and b's, and he is happy again.  He is actually in advanced placement classes for math and english, and at the end of the day he gets to go read books to the kindergarten classes.  It was worth it for him.  I'm not saying that your daughter needs medication, I'm just saying that my son did, and it's sad the negative stigma attached to it.  It really helped my son to be able to pause and think, instead of react and get in trouble, which makes him so proud of himself. Hell, I wish I would've done it three years ago and he didn't have to go through all the frustration that he did.  Good luck to you and your daughter...and remember....we ALL say things we regret sometimes, we're only human...don't beat yourself up.
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by KaLisemommy, Dec 18, 2009
I felt like you were talking about my child (hug) I also find myself telling her to shut up and I hate saying it. I do think my daughter might have a mild case of adhd but I wouldnt put her on medication for it. I am gonna watch this post becuase I need advice on the same issue!
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by specialmom, Dec 21, 2009
Ya know, a nicer way to ask for a break is to say "let's play the quiet game".  Set a timer or use your watch or phone to illustrate the length of time----- and say that we must take a break from talking during the quiet time game.  

Also, this is a sign that your child has trouble reading nonverbal social cues (and some verbal ones too).  Work on this in an instructional way.  Talk about how we talk to strangers.  The give and take of real conversation.  The pausing to listen to others as polite and how we are good friends and family members.  Role play it.  You can teach a child that is not getting some social things naturally.

I would stay away from getting so frustrated that you yell or say shut up.  You'll end up with a kid who starts doing that.  Tell him/her you are going to the bathroom and you'll be right back when you are getting ready to blow.  Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.  Take deep breaths.  But try to remain calm.  

Good luck!
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by bittenbutterfly, Dec 26, 2009
Wow.. sounds a lot like my youngest son. I have an older son who has severe ADHD and he doesn't talk non-stop like my youngest. My youngest does not have ADHD, but "may" have bipolar. My youngest has a different father. We both have Bipolar, I know my mom said that I talked a lot as a child, but nothing like my youngest. We get frustrated too at times and yell shut up when he doesn't hear be quiet a million and one times! We asked for the quiet time. Especially in the car, I like to listen to the radio and my lil' boy vocalizes every thought that comes through his head. Enough to drive a sane person crazy and a crazy person insane! LOL I wont medicate my kids, all these pharmaceuticals are getting scary these days. Any thoughts of teaching my son skills to learn to be quiet? I'm glad my kids talk to me.. and I know everything thing that they do and they think! **sigh** But I like to watch a show or just have a few mins of quiet time myself.. Its sometimes too much, it puts me in the I dont want to be around my kids sometimes, because its constant!
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by erica619, Feb 17, 2010
As i was reading your post i felt as it was me writting!!! My son is 6 and I have the same problem!!! I love him so much, but i really enjoy my solo moments!!!