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my child talks TOO MUCH
I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!
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You posted this in 08 my grandchild was just born and today, I am at my wits end with the non stop talking.  My daughter told me it was a problem, she said her kindergardener was given a referral in school.  She looses her temper and yells and I thought, well I'm older more patient and can certainly deal with a young talkative child.  She is not an only child, she talks over her sibling to the point that he yells.  It is a constant battle and I who thought I could handle it, finally found myself yelling just to keep the peace.  CUE's do not work.  She stops long enough to acknowledge, breath and onward she goes.  This is NOT an only child syndrome.  My child was an only child and I never ever had this problem.  I never had a teacher or sitter ask me to come get her.  I don't know what this is.  She is bright enough to mind every ones conversations but is not advancing in school.  So please tell me that your child has tapered down and that you are a happier person, otherwise my duaghter and I might become wine O's.  
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I feel as though no one ever reads posts on this and just comes here to complain.  if you are looking for some suggestions, please read some of the posts.  If you are looking to vent.  Have at it but it doesn't really solve the issue that you are dealing with.  There is some information contained in this thread meant to help and it is discouraging that it is one time posts of complaint rather than anyone really trying to help the child in question improve their social skills.  luck to all
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My niece is 12 and has been an talking excessively since she was 2.  The cousins and other relatives cringe when she is coming over because she is LOUD and won't let anyone have a conversation with another person.  She spent the past few days with us.  There were 4 adults, 1 teenager and her little sister who is 8.  Everyone was fed up with her nonstop butting in and always having to put her two cents in.  She did not get the social cues and subtle hints that we wanted to talk to someone other than her and she got very dramatic with crying and running into the bathroom for attention.  It ruined the entire weekend and was very embarassing in front of our company.  We counted down the seconds until she left.  I am writing this because her parents are in complete denial that this child needs help.  She has no friends at school and is slowly alienating herself from the family.  How can we tell her parents that this behavior is becoming a serious problem without hurting feelings? I do not want to be around her anymore.
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Hi.  You really can't say anything to her parents because it doesn't come from a place of concern but from a place of irritation.  They'll become defensive because of what you feel in your heart.  They'll come out of their denial when their daughter is hurting enough to say that they need to help her with her social skills.  

Family is one of those 'safe places' for kids with quirks.  But it doesn't always work out that way.  

Hopefully she will figure out social nuances and be able to mix and mingle in the near future.  I always feel bad for kids like that that everyone (including their aunt) just finds them annoying.  good luck to all
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I read your story and it was as if you were speaking about my 8 year old daughter. She is always chattering, interrupting, talking over others and getting mad when no one listens. I get to the point daily when I need quiet time from her, because she just talks so much. But since she was the age of 2 her pediatrician said she has a lack of impulse control not ADHD, we even had her tested later. She just cant control her talking, or need to talk. Although she does excellent in school, top of her class in all areas. Home is her weak spot. Therapy seems to help her understand where/what  she needs to work on. Since the advise isn't coming from me she seems to go with it a whole lot easier too.
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Please consider talking to a Pediatric Neurologist regarding OCD. We were told by our son's first grade teacher that he may have Autism because he talked all the time and is very intelligent which was not at all the case. You can Google "OCD and excessive talking". You will probably be as surprised as we were. Good luck to all if you. We feel your pain. Prayers!
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Thank God I found someone who posted something containing more than just pessimistic commiseration!  I refuse to feel sorry for myself or my daughter, obviously we are not unique...

Reading post after post of nothing but complaints by frustrated parents of kids who won't stop talking had me feeling hopeless for a minute there.  I wasn't finding any positive suggestions or helpful things to try and I started thinking, wow this is a common problem with no solution...none of these posts come with a silver lining more less a happy ending.

I will try applying the same techniques you are using with your son.  I'm willing to give anything a shot at this point, within reason.  I think that ADD is an over used diagnosis.  I think true cases exist but not commonly.  I'd have to wake up with my kid standing over my bed with a knife before I'd consider medication.  My 1st grader won't stop talking in class and it's escalated into an issue much bigger than I ever imagined it would.  It started in Kinder, it goes on at home til she's on my last nerve, and now that she's getting older it's a serious problem.  She's super smart.  They put her in a 1st-2nd combo class and I was so proud, but here we are only two weeks into the school year and she's been disciplined four times in writing - which I have been asked to sign and return to the teacher.  I attribute it to poor impulse control and problems with delayed satisfaction, or at least from what I've come up with in my lay-mom's research... The things I've tried are the norm I guess and they don't seem to work for any of us according to what I've just read here... But I'm grateful to have come across your particular story because you've offered a fresh take on approaching this discouraging predicament.  I'll try almost anything.  

Thank you so much for sharing.  I've got some things I can at least try, and that is encouraging.
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I have the same problem here.  My youngest daughter (12) doesn't stop talking.  She HAS to say the last words, w/me, sister, and dad.  Tonight was i was turning off her fan.  "It's too chilly tonight (NH). but i need it on, im hot.  no fan.  over and over, she's too hot, and this is why.......i need fan to breathe, i don't like covers, i get hot during the night, my room is stuffy, over and over.  then i go to take the fan out and she says it drowns out sounds to her, so i give in and let her keep her fan but not facing towards her.  and then it starts all over again and saying let me talk, my turn, for another 8 minutes.  finally she either has the fan turned or NO fan.  i go out of room and not even 5 minutes later she's telling me that she needs the fan to be facing her because her cat has fur and the cat likes the fan on her cuz she gets hot.   I finally had to tell her NO very harshly.
I have need to remember to use short words (YES/NO) only.  If i tell why, how, what or when about something she goes on and on until i get mad.

She was dx w/ ADHD/OCD/Aspergers and epilepsy( resolved).  She has been recently moved to a new school for Alternative Ed (w/in same school district).  Last school took me 3 years to get her out of.  over 40 demerits in less than 2yrs for things like excessive talking, talking out of turn, hugging friends, going to the bathroom.  Finally went above principle's head right to superintendent and school board.  She is thriving in the new school, has her 1st boyfriend and a new best friend.  (been 2 weeks).
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I just want to say thank you to you all. I have been feeling so frustrated and crazy trying to keep up with constant questions from my almost 4 year old daughter and her constant need for feedback and response for everything she says.  "Right? RIGHT Mommy??"  And when I try to talk about this with friends I feel like I'm met with silence and stares, because she's sweet and bright and wonderful and when she's around others she doesn't talk nearly as much.  She talks some, but she does a lot of observing. She takes it all in and saves her questions for later.  At home, in the car, it's incessant and I just don't feel like I have the mental stamina sometimes to handle it appropriately.  I haven't given much consideration to this being a sign of ADHD, even though I was diagnosed myself a few years ago in my 30s.  I guess it is something to watch for.  But just knowing that there are others out there who struggle to keep up the constant conversation and maintain composure and respond appropriately helps a lot.  I'll think of you guys tomorrow when my rope is about to run out, and I think it will help me keep my cool.
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Have a 12 year old nearly 13 yr old with same thing - best tip I found is to divert her - ask a question (be prepared for a lengthy answer) then say "quiet time now sweet" and grab 5 - use the bathroom if you need to. My daughter was discharged for a child develop unit when she was 7 with label ADHD - I wouldn't even let them write it down on paper as I don't believe in labels. Trust me I get your FRUSTRATION but if you do not het some tips now it is a very long road. She also talks to herself in public constantly and I have to remind her that she is at an age now that other children may think she is "strange" so she is gradually learning tools to use herself now. Good luck, only run with a label if you think it fits - trust your instincts.
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I will try therapy for my 9 year old.I think thats my only way out of constant complaints from school and friends about the non stop talking. I feel exhausted listening to same complaints since the past 5 years. His grades are getting affected because of the excessive talking. He does not complete his lunch because he is too busy socializing.
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Thanks to all of you , it's been a useful therapy for me reading all these posts. It's also helped me come to a conclusion about my own child .
My nearly 8 yr old girl has been having problems with incessant talking and discipline in the classroom. Its disruptive to other children.It's also for the first time ever a personality clash with her teacher which has been blown out of proportion.
She's a very friendly sociable child who is very active and loves company.
I've asked her and her reply was I like to hear myself talk and I have no-one to talk to my age at home.
So rather than looking on it as a problem that needs medicating, I need to address the cause that I have a lonely little girl who is not socialising enough with her peers but more with adults and not getting the interactivity she needs with other children. She is at school, but school is a structured environment where she is supposed to conform to recognised behaviour and actual socialising is restricted to lunchtime and breaks. if she goes to afterschool activites again they are structured environments rather than just social play .Or it's home to parents who are stressed and frazzeled too busy cooking, cleaning etc no time to listen,and they learn to manage their loneliness themselves, by talking to themselves . Its a vicious circle .
I am going to try role play at home and try to schedule more play dates where she is not again listening to an adult but just being  herself with a friend. Maybe then she'll learn more from socialising with her peers.
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I'd just like to share an event that happened with my sociable girl when she was 5
We were getting ready to leave the house and she was rambling nonstop.
Question after question when I'm trying to remember packed lunch,keys,phone,etc ..
Normally I tune out and get on with it but not this day we were running late.
Eventually I snapped and said shut up and let mummy think .
5 secs later - OK mummy I'll shut up, how long did you want me to shut up for 100 minutes ,25 hours (she doesn't get times  ), will you tell me when can I talk again,are you angry with my mummy .... and so off she went again.
I honestly had to go to the bathroom for my own time out because I was so stressed I was in tears but it was so typical of Miss Chatterbox I had to laugh it was so funny , a moment to remember and treasure .
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Thank goodness for these stories! I'm so relieved, felt a bit nutso with the ever-chatty child - wondered if a terrible parent, depriving him of something that made him talk a lot. But I'm not alone...  

Here's my 10 cents -  ideas about the chatting:
1) LIMITS - Though at times I thought it's easier to just let it go, not bother stopping him, I thought this encourages him to talk more. To a point kids needto 'manage' their behaviour, and it will help in situations later in life where they can't talk all the time. I've started setting a few limits rather than just get annoyed. Eg. consistently ask him to be quiet while I make  meals; not interrupt conversations until there's a gap; and be quiet in the car for a few mins so I can concentrate on driving. It seems a little better. Also to ask in a calm, friendly manner, as if they're helping you, cause the 'shut up' thing he seemed to tune out. It's working so far. (If he didn't listen, I might use Time Out or delay the computer time.)

2) TIME OFF - As a single parent theres an extra burden of no one to pass your child onto for a break. So we now have 'rest time', when I'm frazzled no peace, he will play quietly in his room for up to 1 hour, while I have the rest! I do this rather than just use the TV or computer as a babysitter. I tell him honestly - mummy's tired and I need some quiet time or a rest. He seems to understand this. If he interrupts without good reason, I may add 5 minutes to the rest time.

3) LOVE LANGUAGES - Some of you probably looked into Love Languages of your child. I found it very helpful to understand why he constantly asked for hugs when watching TV and said 'I want you to spend more time with me'. (I mean I can only do so much!) But his LL was Affection and Quality Time, he needs more than I do. So a daily activity/ chat together and hugs seem to work. (Within limits, I can't play for hours or every game.)

4) ANXIETY - not sure whether part of the chat is just their way to connect and express himself, or fill an emotional gap, is it insecurity? Or maybe just process things verbally.  Others might have some thoughts...

Finally I don't want 'being chatty' to be an excuse not to pull him into line occasionally, or it gets annoying. I him to know he can use self-control when needed.
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Some of these kids need attention and a way to vent, express themselves, use up their energy.  Every time I have witnessed a kid following mom with nonstop chatter...it has been when mom is physically in the room but mentally disconnected (such as texting, on the internet, chatting on phone). One mom mentioned the child plays alone for hours at a time. There's a good reason to want to talk to another person nonstop...because if they stop, they may lose you again. Who wants to play alone? Also, kids in schools...not the way it was decades ago. Now, they have taken away physical education in many schools, and recess is at most 15-30 minutes and not every day. They are expected to sit, work, sit some more, no talking, and then go home and have mom continue with homework until dinner/bedtime. So much more pressure on kids nowadays and not much play/talk/burn energy time. Let's do less labeling, and more observing. Drop all gadgets, enjoy your kids...get out and burn energy together :)
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I have the same problem with my 4yr old, it also started when he was two.  His constant talking at the pitch of his voice actually triggers migraines for some people, including my husband and myself.  It is disrupting his entire preschool class to the point that his teachers can't even read a story to the class.  ADD & ADHD and more run in both sides of our family, so Im familiar with most of the signs.  He also shows signs of a neurological disease called CMT that is in our family, though there should be relatively no cognitive issues from that disease.  He also has GI issues, which we've addressed up to the point of considering a colonoscopy.  B/C of his age, we are holding off on that for now.  My oldest son had similar issues, but he was more physically hyper than verbally.

What I know that can help are the following:
• make sure there is not a pathological reason causing the behavior first.  If it isn't from a health problem, than address the psychological concerns...but don't assume ADHD from the start.
• consider external stressors, i.e. family fighting, moving, ill family members, etc.
• consistent discipline is very important.
• positive forms of discipline, i.e. sticker charts & rewards work best, threats and punishments often cause more stress and anxiety in a hyperactive child, which causes worse behavior and the 'lesson' is not learned.
• stick with a diet high in vegetables & low in sugar, google 'ADHD Diets' for a more specific explanation.
• avoid Vit B supplements, they can  worsen ADHD symptoms and be aware of the foods high in the B vitamins.
• sign the child up for physical activities and sports, my oldest (8yrs) is in karate and the youngest (4yrs) attends when he is behaving well, but gymnastics has been the best for my youngest.
• set aside a time of day to give the child attention, coloring puzzles games etc...we usually follow with a story and nap time.
• when it comes to tv, allow only educational things...then as an award for good behavior maybe something like Power Rangers (sparingly).
• Baby Einstein, Baby First, Little Einsteins, Blues Clues, Diego, Dora...are all good choices for educational tv.
• We had to avoid Little Bill and Jonny Test and Timmy Turner with our kids.  Little Bill only made the hyperactivity worsen, and the other two encourage lying to your parents, etc.
• We use a lot of lavender, someone mentioned magnesium which is good (careful when dosing a child), theres a Sleepy Time tea for children that is usually carried by health food stores.  Tea tree and menthol products sooth my youngest, but Im not familiar with the science behind that.  
• Binaural Beats helped my oldest A LOT!  We targeted Delta Waves for him, google or search youtube for 'Great Expanse Delta' for an example, must wear headphones.
• I am against using medication for treatment.  I learned to deal with ADD as a child.  It takes effort but is worth having the self control and ability to manage in sociery without drugs.  I started taking medication for ADD only b/c of a severe head injury when I was an adult.  I hate it.  I would suggest behavioral therapy first, if anything.
• consider having their ears and hearing checked.  We did this with my youngest and he was fine, but he has hard ear wax that doesn't drain well and I have to flush them out B/C the wax builds up and forms natural ear plugs.
• consider teaching your child foreign languages.  If they enjoy speaking a lot, use that to an advantage.  Children can pick up a language and correct accent easily before the age of 8yrs.  There are many DVDs or just switch the language on the tv for a show they watch a lot.
• with my youngest, we will only answer his question if he asks once.  Usually he'll ask the same thing over and over without a break until you answer.  So we make him ask once and pause if he wants an answer, otherwise we ask him how many times he asked that question and when he holds up 3 fingers we say we wont answer b/c he didn't ask just once and wait for the answer.
• music helps soothe both my kids, they have their own play lists and can listen in their rooms or in the car.  The songs we choose are not kiddie songs and are tolerable to my husband and me as well.


For the parents:
• EAR PLUGS, EAR PLUGS, EAR PLUGS!  Wax ear plugs work best, also try headphones or earbuds...even if you're not listening to music.  You will still hear your child, but it will be less extreme and easier to deal with.
• If your frustrated enough to say hurtful things to your child, then maybe consider medicating yourself before your child...xanax or klonopin are good choices...this will help you respond and discipline better and more consistantly.  Maybe some people could handle a child talking every second of everyday and asking question after question, but I can't.  So don't feel bad if you are unable to keep your cool, but do something to fix it.

Thats really all that has worked for us.  Playing the quiet game doesn't help.  Making my son form a 'bubble' in his mouth and hold it there or making him hold his tongue with his fingers, are not very helpful for us.  Teaching him sign language kind of helps, but then he just constantly signs, and will sign the same thing over and over...so the real issue is still not being addressed.

Good luck to anyone dealing with this and please post any new ideas, B/C we are still working on this with our youngest.  Thanks
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I have a ten year old son who was on ritalin and concerta to no avail. I suffer from depression when stressed. And his continuous talking is litrally slowly killing me. Got divorced last year and have to face this on my own - his dad wants nothing to do with him. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. I sometimes wish I was not here any more as the stress it causes me is just so much that I often wonder if life is worth it. I really need some help here as I don't know what to do any more.
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jenbear, what do you do for your depression?  By fully treating that you may be better able to deal with the more annoying things your children do.  They all have their particular characteristics that can be annoying but it's our job to help them overcome them while still making them feel accepted and loved for who they are.

So, make sure you are seeing a doctor and doing what you need to do to overcome your own depression which may be making your patience level and ability to cope less.  

How do you help him learn boundaries?  What types of physical outlets does he have that help with his nervous system being better regulated?  
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I have to say I am a bit relieved to hear I am not the only one with the same concerns.  I have a 6 year old daugher and she is in 1st grade.  She has gotten several yellow cards because she cannot stop talking in class.  Yesterday I was at my wits end because she came home with a red card and thats the worse a child can get.  I find myself saying the word SHUT UP and this word is forbidden in my home.  I really don't know what to do.  I will try anything.  
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I am the step mother of a very similar 6 year old boy.  He just got into trouble today on the bus because he won't stop talking!  He says he just has a lot to say!  I've tried time outs, quiet time, listening exercises, but nothing works!!!  I heard another little boy say my son gives him a headache!  His father and I are also guilty of saying shut up and I feel like such a horrible parent when we have to do that!  At least i'm not alone as I thought!  We have even tried TV after dinner to help him relax, but he'll talk as if someone was in the room or watching with him!!!  He constantly has to dominate conversations, and doesn't even pause long enough to listen for an answer to his question! Should I get him checked out??
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These posts are hysterical to me... mostly because I deal with the same issue with my 5 year old daughter.  As I read them, I experienced a range of emotions from laughing to crying.  It's nice to know I'm not alone.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.  I found strategies to compensate my whole life as well.  However, at that time, there was no alternative and therefore, all of us with attention issues were forced to find alternative ways to deal.  Now, we are fortunate enough to know more about ADD and ADHD. We need to take what we know and help our children find those alternative ways to deal. Letting them figure it out for themselves is often times where avoidance and "bad" behavior comes from. I applaud those who mentioned social skills training and other methods they are trying.  Don't get discouraged! Keep on trying different methods- the time you're putting in will pay off.  

Putting kids on meds is not the best solution for most.  Medications that treat ADD and ADHD have many side effects, some that are not detected until years later.  The levels of toxicity that you can create in your child's body is far worse that the issues we are discussing.

As far as teachers and administrators go, I am a VP in a 5-21 school and I don't think people look at children differently if they have ADD/ ADHD or are on meds... unfortunately it's common place now.  I think the push back that you're reading in earlier posts regarding meds comes from what we know about the dangers in taking any medication for long periods of time.  As a society we better understanding of holistic remedies.  

I encourage all parents to be careful with the words you use with your children .... try to replace "shut up" with another phrase if you can.... even if it's something silly like "rotten tomatoes!" Hey, at least you will get their attention! Regardless - your posts indicate you're proactive parents who care and you are to be commended for that!  Continue to research ways to address the social skills they lack. Jed Baker has a lot of wonderful information on his website. He has also published several books on the subject. Look up the benefits of fish oil and other herbs.

Thank you all for posting...  
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I have resorted to putting notes on my door that say "silent time no speaking allowed." I usually make it last 30 mins. If she accomplishes it, she gets a sticker, if not an X. Actually the X was her idea, then she decided she didn't like the X but it was too late to change the rules. Besides I thought the x was a good idea. :)

Respectively, I don't see it as necessarily a sign of intelligence. I see it as a person in wrong human relations. A person who wants to dominate all the attention  and not leave a morsel for anyone else. I'm sorry no one gets to be that important and if she doesn't learn it from me, the world will brutally teach her.

I also have a timer and she I not allowed to speak until it goes off.

Our dog hides from her because she wants to dominate his attention. I use him as an example. I tell her this has nothing to do about Love, but about self- survival. It's hard to survive having a good relationship with her. I love her, the dog loves her but we don't like the way she communicates how she loves us.
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Actually ranger-girl, I thought the same thing as Rockrose. And
I didn't feel it was  hostile. She was just making a point.
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I think its a major problem with all the parents now a days. Children are becming more and more talkative and they behaves like agressive kids. Its really frustrating.
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I like my kids being talkative.  Enjoy it.  They'll become teenagers who ignore you soon enough!
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"I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper"

Guess what the "H" stands for in ADHD.  You've already got part of her diagnosis.  Constant talking, movement, whatever is a sign of hyperactivity and the inability to control impulses.  This is why it's so hard for you to have talks with her, set up games, etc. to get her to stop.  She has to have the control from within (not externally) to stop talking, and that part of the brain (the frontal lobe) is not working.

It doesn't matter if other parents sympathize with you or tell you how bright or how creative your child is.  ADHD will persist and make your life and the life of your child hell with constant conflict and irritation.  If you do nothing about ADHD, it will persist into adulthood and continue to plague her and wreak havoc with her education and her career options.

There are only two ways to deal with this: Meds and behavior modification. Meds are the most effective.  The difference is like night and day.  It will calm her down and allow her to focus in school and listen to what you are saying to her.  Behavior modification means establishing levels of control so that she has to work to maintain privileges.

Good luck to you in this struggle.
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9118730 tn?1401804252
My child is the same. She talks endlessly that there were times that I feel really frustrated and at my wits end. But I would not consider giving her any medications. Instead I am thinking of getting her engaged on more physical activities such as swimming, dance or maybe taekwondo.
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973741 tn?1342346373
YOU are definitely on the right track.  the physical activity is key.  Good luck and again, you seem to be headed in the right direction.  peace
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Your child is exhibiting symptoms associated with Aspergers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
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973741 tn?1342346373
Being talkative is not a symptom of aspergers.  the speech patterns typical of aspergers are very noticeable.  Many kids just talk too much with no disorder at all and some with things like impulse control.  But that is different than aspergers.  Aspergers kids talk in the 'little professor' way and have a couple of topics they talk about rather than just talking.  

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Not necessarily there is a wide range on autism spectrum....my son is exactly like tripplebright's child and has mild autism aka aspergers
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Wow!  It is really a relief to know that I'm not alone.  I definitely understand the frustration all of you are going through.  I go through the moments of feeling like the worse parent ever, but know that I'm not.  I have to regularly use the words "shut up" because my 7 year old daughter very rarely responds to "be quiet," "stop talking," "take a time out," or "let's have quiet time."  She isn't a non stop talker, but does talk "too much."  The other issue i have is that because she wants to talk she doesn't listen well, mostly to me, but also sometimes at school or in other lessons and instruction will have to be repeated to her because she's too busy trying to say whatever is on her mind.  Once she's focused, she's absolutely wonderful at whatever is being taught.  She learns extremely fast and always has.  I receive the same responses from every instructor she's ever had, such as "oh my gosh I'm so impressed with how fast she learns and how smart she is, she will excel very quickly, BUT she likes to talk a lot which is an interruption...when she focuses she's fine..."  I've been working on this with her since she was 3 1/2 yo when she started her first extracurricular activity, Tae Kwon Do.  She did excel fast and the instructor learned to be firm with her per my permission and it helped very quickly.  By age 5 the same was being said by her ballet instructor, gymnastics teacher at age 6.  She turned 7 this month and began Mandarin Chinese language camp over the last 3 weeks and they are saying the same things.  My daughter attends an international dual language school and started learning French there at age 4 (4k) and is entering the 2nd grade in the Fall.  She is already fluent in French, is in the accelerated reading program in French and English at school and does very well all around in school other than talking too much.  Her teachers are very good with handling the situations themselves as I'm a very involved parent where I communicate with the teachers early in the the school year to let them know what to expect and that it's something we've been working on since she began school there in 4k.  I keep communication open during the school year and have tried every disciplinary method and reward system possible (other than buying gifts - I don't believe in rewarding monetarily for expected behavior).  It has been difficult, but having teachers who know how to handle it better helps.  I do think in part that she can't help it as she gets talking honestly from me (I'm a serious talker/social butterfly and her dad is a social butterfly as well, although she's never met him - hereditary for sure).  She also has the need to pay waaaay toooo much attention to other kids and not herself.  Her 1st grade English teacher thinks that she gets bored easily in school and thinks that the rules somehow don't apply to her since she already knows how to do the work, she then begins helping the other kids (and that's the teachers jobs) instead of focusing on herself.  I have done research as well on ADD and ADHD and I don't believe she fits all of the characteristics, but it is supposed to be a diagnoses that is made after careful consult between all - teachers, pediatrician, therapist, school counselor and parent.  I have a 13 year history as a social worker and like some of you, am concerned about the labeling and the diagnoses sticking with her throughout her lifetime.  Medication is not an option for her at this time.  I do know that it is said that certain foods, environment, etc can alter behaviors as well.  I am choosing to keep my child as focused and occupied as possible.  She will stick with the Chinese lessons a few days per week, she has swim lessons once per week (but we go swimming at least 2 other times per week), she has piano lessons once per week and  has to practice throughout the week, and she will continue gymnastics again in the fall.  I will say that all that she is involved in, she requested so she is not being forced to do anything she doesn't want to do.  She is a very ambitious, competitive and determined girl.  It is also found that many people with ADHD are very intelligent, their minds just move a bit faster than the rest of them.  My daughter is a bit fidgity at times and I ask her why she has to move and she can't tell me, but she does make the effort to stop.  Keeping her busy doing work books at home, reading, drawing, watching an age appropriate movie/family show all keeps her very calm/focused.  Spending quality calm time with her watching a movie, cooking, playing a board game, having a tea party, soduko, and word searches together also really helps.  She is a joy other than not listening most of the time.  She sleeps and eats really well and is very sweet, comical, thoughtful and Quite talented but my biggest issue with my daughter is that she is dishonest a lot about things that simply don't matter.  There is never a reason to tell a lie, however a parent can understand a lie because the kid thinks they may get into trouble, but my girl is dishonest too often for absolutely no reason even some times making up stories to me or others.  It's weird and doesn't happen often but waaay too often for me as lying is a major issue for me re: anyone.  The killer is that even when I tell her that I know she's lying she continues on and may even lie to try to cover up the first lie.  She has strong will out of this world in soooo many different ways it's impressive, unbelievable, and can be scary (lying trait).  Does anyone else have the dishonest issue?  
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I so agree with you Lin76.  Thanks for this post because I believe this is part of the reason my daughter talks so much with me.  As a single mom, I'm practically ALWAYS doing something, cooking, cleaning, getting us ready, laundry, ironing, driving, working, etc etc etc. and it leaves little QUALITY TIME for she and I after school/homework.  While she always has my attention, it isn't the attention she's really needing.  I do notice that I'm always doing something or on my phone/computer or the above.  She needs just me all to herself.  I also think that her volume has a lot to do with that attention seeking as well.  She saying, "Mom, I need you to hear what I'm saying to you."  I will be sure to make more Mommy Daughter time for just us chilling out together, not really doing much but giving her all of my attention.  The killer is that my 7 year old has verbalized this desire and need by saying, "mommy, can we just go for a walk together, just you and me, no one else?"  She was expressing this as young as 4 years old.  Bright girl who definitely expresses herself.  I haven't listened enough. We had a mommy and me day all day yesterday at home initiated by her.  Thanks again!
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Oh holy god, this is me, I have a 5 and half year old girl, she is smart, funny and loves people!, I love her dearly..but my god she loves attention, whether that means talking to us or herself or even random people on the street, she has no fear, she is constantly on the move and prances around like a maniac saying "Look at me look at me!!" every day!!! it is driving us insane! my daughter finds it hard to hold any conversation as most of the time she talks over people and then they loose interest in her, she then doesn't understand why nobody wants to be her friend?? she interrupts others, my husband and I can not get a word in EVER! She fails to do what she is told and often drifts off into her own little world, she actually can not sit still and chill out, this is not her, trying to concentrate on say a Movie, a book or even a game she would last 3-5 minutes then we have to change, as a parent I have tried everything, it has to ADHD, as I don't know any other cause of this, I wont put her on medication, as I fear this may make things worse, or worse still bring out another side to my daughter, I feel every parents pain on here as I feel as a parent I have failed my daughter, but everyone must remember its nobody's fault, these things happen, and having support I think is the best cure for this. Nothing will change your love for your child. x
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Oh holy god, this is me, I have a 5 and half year old girl, she is smart, funny and loves people!, I love her dearly..but my god she loves attention, whether that means talking to us or herself or even random people on the street, she has no fear, she is constantly on the move and prances around like a maniac saying "Look at me look at me!!" every day!!! it is driving us insane! my daughter finds it hard to hold any conversation as most of the time she talks over people and then they loose interest in her, she then doesn't understand why nobody wants to be her friend?? she interrupts others, my husband and I can not get a word in EVER! She fails to do what she is told and often drifts off into her own little world, she actually can not sit still and chill out, this is not her, trying to concentrate on say a Movie, a book or even a game she would last 3-5 minutes then we have to change, as a parent I have tried everything, it has to ADHD, as I don't know any other cause of this, I wont put her on medication, as I fear this may make things worse, or worse still bring out another side to my daughter, I feel every parents pain on here as I feel as a parent I have failed my daughter, but everyone must remember its nobody's fault, these things happen, and having support I think is the best cure for this. Nothing will change your love for your child. x
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9118730 tn?1401804252
My child is 5 and she is the same. She talks endlessly, have a hard time staying still in class and constantly talks to her classmates. Her teacher has almost sent her out of the class one time because she was being disruptive. She is very smart though.
I feel so frustrated but I don't think that I will allow her to get medicated.
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Thank you! I was getting appauled  at all the posts by the poor parents that have to put up with they talkative child. Shut up is not a word in our house. Instead of complaining about it, why not try to see the positive in a possibly gifted child. It is a little disturbing to read parents write that their own kids are annoying, or how about the post that said she was going to get a divorce to have a free weekend... Really??? My child is very talkative, constant questions, does not miss a beat, very energetic and excited about most everything. My goal is to keep her spirit and love for people and life, not squash it. She needs to be kindly redirected or explained about respect and listening is also important. It is hard work, I get that. But, telling your child to shut up is not going to help anyone. Get them involved in sports or any activity possible... Constructive energy. Help their self esteem. Not everyone is going to fit in a conforming mold, that would be a pretty boring world. I am far from a perfect parent. But, I ran into this forum to try to find some suggestions to guide my talkative shining star. I will not allow the school system or an impatient teacher put her in the bad category. She wants to learn everything, how can that be a bad thing.
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I am in the same situation. My son is turning 4 this November. He started talking non-stop when he was 3 and never stops. He can do monologue of the book we read few times like the cat in the hat and 10 other books or the lines in the movie we just watch. He will quote lines in the books and use it in real life situation in the right context. He usually doesn't listen to me but when I quote his book I get a response. Now that he is turning 4, he answers my questions but once in a while avoid it and completely which off and talk about other things. He is also extremely social with other kids and gets attached very quickly and cry when its time to say goodbye. His teacher finds him distractive in class because he will sing and talk loudly to himself mostly non-sense. And she thinks he intimidates his peers when he makes angry face but he is just a boy with 10 facial expression per second. The assistant teacher label him as naughty :( which I think is not right. He is a sweet, loving but stubborn boy who has his own mind and very intelligent. I am angry that they are beating out a happy expressive boy out of him. and I hate myself when sometimes I think that there is something wrong with him. Me and my husband is thinking of homeschooling but then he will lose the social interaction with other kids.
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11287541 tn?1416880810
This is another parent that has NO IDEA what it's like to be in our shoes.
I spent the last, i dunno... 900 days? With my kid. Yes, he goes to school. Until 230. They are often off, though, I have him all other hours and weekends. He talks non stop, and by talking I mean SHOUTING LOUDY ALL DAY. MAMA DO YOU WANNA DO THIS WITH ME? (As I'm preparing dinner, every night) MAMA WILL YOU DO THIS? MAMA, MAAAAMAMAAA DO THIS! DO THIS MAMA! (hands me legos) "I can't, sweetie, Im making dinner, we just played for 4 hours outside, I need an hour to make dinner." ... BUT WILL YOU DO THIS? I CAN'T DO IT. "No, sweetie, I have chicken on my hands, please go to the living room, the stove is on and it's dangerous in here, you can watch TV." (He starts singing at the top of his voice) I hear a CRASH!!! MAMA I KNOCKED IT OVER. MAAAAMAAA! I KNOCKED IT OVER! HEY MOM!!! MAMA!!!! CAN I WATCH BATMAN? BATMAN, MAMA? I LIKE BATMAN! VROOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! WHATS THIS THING HERE?! CAN I HAVE THAT? I DON"T WANT DINNER. I DON"T LIKE DINNER. I DON'T WANT DINNER EVER. I DON'T LIKE IT. MAMA!!! "Charlie! I need you to be quiet!" (starts talking loudly about something I can't decipher for the next 10 min, I turn on the music and "press my tongue to the roof of my mouth," aka... SUCK IT IN for the 898th hour that week, the 10th hour that day... and it NEVER ENDS. When people wonder why I only have one?! EVERY day care teacher, and now his pre k teacher complains. Being precocious and adorable is besides the point. He's impulsive and literally CANNOT be quiet, not for a minute. not for 30 seconds, not even for 10 seconds. I am not exaggerating, it is my hell. Oh, did I mention I'm an introvert?

Are you annoyed yet? Because this is 2 min of my day, every day, from sun up to sun down. It's not cute. It's not because he's insecure. it's because he is loud and obnoxious. He did not "get it" from me or his father. He was born this way. It's the way it is. It does not mean I don't love him. I do. It does not make me a bad mother, because I'm a freaking saint. Screw all the judgmental Jennies that say otherwise. Live in my shoes a couple weeks, I bet you'll jump off a bridge or be drinking a bottle of vodka a night.
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I salute you darling
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973741 tn?1342346373
I have my own kids and own challenges.  I'm sorry you singled me out to say I don't have a clue.  LOL  But perhaps we just don't get each other.  

Perhaps your son has a developmental issue that causes him to have poor impulse control.  My son has sensory integration disorder and this can be associated with that.  We've done occupational therapy which was very helpful.  My son also participates in many things like competitive swimming which helps regulate his nervous system.  And he is now almost 11 and I realize that he'll soon look to me to be the LAST person on the face of the earth he wants to talk to.  I dread that whereas you are looking forward to it.  

We're just different.  I would guess my house has had over the years an equal amount of nonstop chatter to yours.  I have rules in place that involve my being able to say 'let's take a break and you do X while I do Y and then we'll talk again."  If you think I 'don't understand'---  remember, I have a child with a developmental delay that presents a lot like adhd.  I just see it differently than you and handle it differently.  

Wishing you luck and sorry your child bothers you so much.  I don't judge other moms.  I feel bad that they are miserable.  
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Your resolution is the closest thing to perfect I have heard. I just told my 8 year old boy who talks all the time (just like his mommy) that he has super powers that he has to control or its used for bad. I now have him write down what he wants to say when its quiet time because his words are important but he cant interrupt others. Then I read what he wrote. He wants to help teach others so while they are working he starts talking. If he can still talk (writing) then maybe this is the right tool. He then also learns to express what he is thinking to paper...win win?
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She's just a genius.
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Omg I am experiencing this now with my 4year old daughter she will not let up and its gotten so bad that she now lies to get the attention on her and I'm pulling my hair out as to why my daughter would be doing this. She lies talks too much, and she's always always always in the middle of someone's conversation. I've tried to discipline her only to find myself in more of a pickle because when she's dropped off at the babysitter house she tells how she's been disciplined and everything else that goes on in my house I'm like completely scared because its a invitation to strangers to see me and what time I'm home and etc. Its annoying and frustrating because I'm all out of answers and need help like yesterday on how to help her with what to say and when to say it. I know something's are just naturally grown out of but over the years its becoming more and more untamable and its really spinning out of control and I dont want to be the struck parent and take fun away from her cause first thing first she is still a child I just want her to know a child's place. Someone anyone please help me..... thank you
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I just got back from a parent teacher conference at my 5 year old sons preschool.

I have ADHD, its a strong genetic trait in my family. That said I do NOT think my son has ADHD or ADD:

He talks ALL the time and like others here have expressed he will talk to anyone about anything and in detail! He has an amazing memory and can tell accurately detailed stories of  things we did when he was 2. Its amazing. He has a wonderful vocabulary.

The problem is it is non-stop and he is taking over in his class. We live in Sweden and the class is ages 3-6 (start of kindergarten) and everyone, kids included are exhausted by him! He can´t seem to control his umpulsive talking. In group he answers every question before anyone has a chance even when the teacher directs the question to a specific child.

Besides this he also wants to know when things are happening, by whom, where, when, how for every minute of the day. The absolut worst thing you can tell him is "we shall see" or "I dont know exactly just yet". That opens up a whole world of frustration for everyone involved! He takes the "Are we there yet" to a whole new level and a daily, even hourly event. He easily makes friends but then he talks them to death and wants to control each and every asspect of what they are playing. His friends are beginning to purposefuly choose activities he doesnt enjoy to get a minutes peace.

How can I help him? How can his teachers help him? We are all at a loss!
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I just read a Facebook post concerning Magnesium and ADHD.  I strongly believe this is a huge factor in my child. Keep a journal of what they eat....Stress, injuries unhealthy diet and daily pollutions deplet Magnesium.  This post sounds just like my 7yr old son.  
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This could be me.  My 9 year old does have ADHD, and we have been able to curb a lot of her issues.  But the talking is driving us crazy and it isn't the constant talking anymore, it is the talking whenever our attention is else where.  Could be walking through the grocery store "mom, mom, mom, mom", checking out at any store, she can be quiet up until the clerk talks to me or I am entering my credit card info,  if her TV show is on, she is silent, the minute ours is on, she is talking non-stop.  My husband will get up and leave our conversations, because she cannot stop talking AT us not with us, but AT us.  She also knows "everything", she doesn't have any close friends, she makes friends easily as she isn't shy, but she doesn't have any close friend, because of the bossiness, that comes across with her behavior.  It breaks my heart, but I am at a loss as to how to make this work for her.  She is an only child, so she is our main focus. She goes to a private school, and during the summer she is at camp most days, so she has lots of socialization.  Last year her teacher was a parent with a child that had ADHD, so it was great having someone advise, us who has been there.  But my daughter had a desk by herself, not in one of the groups, because she couldn't stop talking with her groupmates.  Nervous about the new year and what it my bring.  
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My ten yr old is just like this ,I don't know if he has adhd but he doesn't stop talking even in school talks a lot or winds people up.he has two younger brothers and he either interrupts them when they are talking or winds them up when nothing else to do.am struggling what to do as it causes a lot of arguments in the house, he is ok when we are out and he busy but still talks constantly.please can someone give me some tips.
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I'm so glad I'm not the only one who is dealing with this! My son is almost six and if he is home all day he can easily talk for 14-18 hours straight! It gets to the point that I'm so use to listening to him talk that sometimes I tune him out. Then he gets his feelings hurt when I'm not listening which makes me feel awful! He will talk about random things at random times and will interrupt anyone and everyone to say something that has nothing to do with anything. I've even had the trouble when daddy and I are talking he will get in the middle of us and make noises to interrupt us and if we ignore him or tell him to be quiet he gets very loud and obnoxious or will get upset or mad. I also noticed him not being able to focus on what someone tells him because he can't stop talking long enough to listen. I usually have to yell at him just do he can hear me over his own voice which makes me feel like an awful mother because I am not a yeller. I do not know how else to get him to listen or to get his attention long enough to hear what we are trying to tell him. He is a very good story teller but sometimes he has a hard time telling the difference between what he made up and what really happened. He loves to read and he cannot read without talking aloud, but can focus on a book for quite some time which leads me to believe he doesn't have adhd. I'm very frustrated trying to figure out how to get him to not talk quite so much!
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Just a thought, see if your son will write a story. My son is almost six and is a huge story teller. I have found that if I make him elaborate on a story by asking specific questions about what he is telling me, he will actually stop talking for a few seconds to think about what he is going to say. A few seconds may not be much but it's def a relief for a short time!!
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All I have to say to your post is thank you! More and more kids get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and I feel that labeling children is very detrimental and does more bad than good. Parents do need to pay more attention to their kids but that is not always the case. Nowadays it's so much easier to push pills down your kids throat than to deal with paying attention to them.
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Sounds exactly like my 6yr old son, who started at a young age as well. I also find myself getting way more frustrated than i want to be and sometimes say Shut Up too....i have found when i say 'mommy's ears need a rest' i get a few minutes of peace without feeling horrible for saying Shut Up.

About a year ago my son was diagnosed with mild autism and seems to stem from that. Most people think anti-social for autism but it's not always the case. It can be tbe opposite extreme as well. My son seeks out social interaction. The key is that they don't get social ques...so have no idea they are
in someone's space or annoying.

One doctor put it this way...he has all the social skills needed to function in society but he gets in his own way due to the autism. So skills there but have ro tap into them differently than others.
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I am so relieved to know that I am not the only one. I have been feeling horrible for feeling like I dont want to be around me step son. He is 9 with a diagnosis of ADHD and concerta has not worked so far. My step son lives with us full time because his mother is not mentally well. I know that what he has been through in his life definitely contributes to his own mental issues. He is considered a gift learner so he has a very high IQ and while I love him. I am about to loose my mind because he never stops talking. If he is not talking he is following me around and making sound effects or just has a answer for everything. He does not take no for an answer well either.  I have never told him to shut up. I could never do that but sometimes I want to shout it. I bear brunt of it because I am his primary parent as my husband works a lot.  It starts in the morning when he comes down stairs and within 20 mins I have had enough, I get a break while at work then it picks up right after I pick him up from day care. He is also not making friends because other kids are telling him that he is annoying. While that breaks my heart, I can kind of see where they are coming from because he is probably doing the same thing to them.  I have tried telling him that people need quiet time, his soccer coach told him that people appreciate people who don't always have something to say, he takes non verbal quest but then asks if he is being annoying and says something like I know I am but I just like to keep pointing out the obvious to everyone even though I know it's annoying.  Thanks for letting me vent. We have another doctors appointment for medication adjustment coming up so hopefully something will give or I might just end up in counseling.
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