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my child talks TOO MUCH
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my child talks TOO MUCH

I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Honestly I can completely understand your frustration!  I have a son of 9 who talks nonestop and with a very loud voice, questions after questions.  What helped with him were the boundries..... we had family meetings every week to discuss what we could do to live better in our home.  He off course rattled off 50 ideas before we even picked up the pencil!

These children are bright and their brains work very fast, they are very frustrated too.  We seem slow to them and they are still so very young to cope with a calming down mechanism.  They are also anxious children, always wanted to "know everything" and get involved in everything.

It is however extremely tiring for everyone around them.  She is probably very creative, perhaps artistic?  or musical?  Explore which creative avenue you can and develop it in a very therapeutic way, calming.....  

I am reluctant to start therapy for a child so young, but that's my personal choice, however what does help are various books around that exist that perhaps can help you find some solutions for the home and school.  Check with your pedicatrian and he/she may be able to direct you.

My son has ADHD, but your daughter does not necessarily have this, once again check with your doctor.  I have been giving him Valerian drops (child strength) and it has really helped and is natural.  Also, magnesium too.

Remember, you are not alone and you are not horrible in any way, these children can try the patience of a saint but they are very special!
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Avatar_n_tn
I completely understand!!!!!!!!!!!  I just posted one about my daughter who is 6 and 8  mos.  She is the brightest little girl...but she is having trouble sitting still in class...talking, etc...and I fear that she too may be bossy.  She has a lot of friends...a very popular (hate to use that word but I am just meaning to say that she makes and keeps friends easily)...she will do anything to avoid doing her work at school and takes several bathroom trips and has all sorts of somatic complaints to share with the teacher instead of doing her work.  I do not know what to do....except just hope that as she matures some of this will go away....it is new and I did not have any trouble with her in the past....oh it is so frustrating and I feel like our relationship is even changing some because I have to treat her differently.  I feel like I have been such a good mother to her and spent so much time with her.....and now....has it helped or hurt her?  I am so concerned...and fear that it is going to get worse.  I have been on the computer googling ADDHD....and I am so not into her taking any meds...I do not really think she has it but I am just very worried.  So I share in your same worries.
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Avatar_f_tn
First things first, as you are concerned about your daughter you should get her tested by a good child psychologist that will do the variety of tests : physcological (who they see the world etc) and educational tests (for learning disabilities).  About 40% of children with ADHD also have learning disabilities.

The doctor will be able to tell you if she has ADHD or not, or perhaps just some attention issues which of course is not the same thing.

Good luck and keep us posted if the diagnoisis is ADHD, there are some excellent books that can help you and her understand what is happening.
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Avatar_f_tn
Just wanted to tell the OP we have the same daughter. *sigh* I did a google search of talking to much and found you all. My daughter is about to turn 5. ADHD runs in my family. I never thought I would yell at my child to shut up either.
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Reading your post it was as if you were describing my son.  He is 8 yrs old, very bright, and adhd.  Since kindergarten he has had the same issues in school, talking too much, very high energy, asking questions incessantly, (Is God married, why does the moon follow me home, what kind of car did your dad drive when you were little, can we go to the movies this weekend, and on and on and on)  Not only that, his teachers all told me that he was very bright, but had to be reminded constantly to keep on task, because he would talk rather than do his work.  He was seperated from the class, lost recess time, and almost failed the second grade.  But he was unhappy...he had a hard time making friends, and it broke my heart to watch him suffer...I finally medicated him at the beginning of the school year.  I didn't want to, and was very opposed to it.  However, the FIRST day he was medicated at school his teacher called me to tell me what a difference she saw. He was able to sit still, did not need constant reminders, rose his hand, did not blurt out answers in class, and behaved wonderfully.  So he has been on concerta for 2 months.  EVERYONE has noticed a difference with him, and besides all that, his report card was all a's and b's, and he is happy again.  He is actually in advanced placement classes for math and english, and at the end of the day he gets to go read books to the kindergarten classes.  It was worth it for him.  I'm not saying that your daughter needs medication, I'm just saying that my son did, and it's sad the negative stigma attached to it.  It really helped my son to be able to pause and think, instead of react and get in trouble, which makes him so proud of himself. Hell, I wish I would've done it three years ago and he didn't have to go through all the frustration that he did.  Good luck to you and your daughter...and remember....we ALL say things we regret sometimes, we're only human...don't beat yourself up.
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Avatar_f_tn
I felt like you were talking about my child (hug) I also find myself telling her to shut up and I hate saying it. I do think my daughter might have a mild case of adhd but I wouldnt put her on medication for it. I am gonna watch this post becuase I need advice on the same issue!
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Ya know, a nicer way to ask for a break is to say "let's play the quiet game".  Set a timer or use your watch or phone to illustrate the length of time----- and say that we must take a break from talking during the quiet time game.  

Also, this is a sign that your child has trouble reading nonverbal social cues (and some verbal ones too).  Work on this in an instructional way.  Talk about how we talk to strangers.  The give and take of real conversation.  The pausing to listen to others as polite and how we are good friends and family members.  Role play it.  You can teach a child that is not getting some social things naturally.

I would stay away from getting so frustrated that you yell or say shut up.  You'll end up with a kid who starts doing that.  Tell him/her you are going to the bathroom and you'll be right back when you are getting ready to blow.  Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.  Take deep breaths.  But try to remain calm.  

Good luck!
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Avatar_m_tn
Wow.. sounds a lot like my youngest son. I have an older son who has severe ADHD and he doesn't talk non-stop like my youngest. My youngest does not have ADHD, but "may" have bipolar. My youngest has a different father. We both have Bipolar, I know my mom said that I talked a lot as a child, but nothing like my youngest. We get frustrated too at times and yell shut up when he doesn't hear be quiet a million and one times! We asked for the quiet time. Especially in the car, I like to listen to the radio and my lil' boy vocalizes every thought that comes through his head. Enough to drive a sane person crazy and a crazy person insane! LOL I wont medicate my kids, all these pharmaceuticals are getting scary these days. Any thoughts of teaching my son skills to learn to be quiet? I'm glad my kids talk to me.. and I know everything thing that they do and they think! **sigh** But I like to watch a show or just have a few mins of quiet time myself.. Its sometimes too much, it puts me in the I dont want to be around my kids sometimes, because its constant!
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Avatar_n_tn
As i was reading your post i felt as it was me writting!!! My son is 6 and I have the same problem!!! I love him so much, but i really enjoy my solo moments!!!
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Ah I wish my son talked a lot.....:( He can but most of the time he chooses not too :) he only talks when he needs something/something interests him a great deal....No social chatter qhatsoever, asks minimal questions......


I guess the grass is always greener on the other side:)
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Avatar_m_tn
Your six-year old sounds a lot like my five-year old.  Mine has been extremely talkative since she started talking and my wife and I get very frustrated trying to get through to her that she doesn't have to talk alllllllll the time.  We can't have a conversation until she goes to bed because she seems to think she has to be the one talking, like she feels left out if two other people are talking and she's not.  Trying to get anything done around the house is also difficult between the barage of verbal diarhea (diarrhea) and, "Daddy, watch this!  Daddy, watch this!" constantly.  She's also very bossy with her friends and been told as much by them.  She won't shut up in her dance class when the teacher's trying to talk to the students but no one seems to be firm with her and tell her to shut up and listen for a change.  My wife and I are split up but will be getting back together soon and are planning on hiring a parenting coach and I sure hope she can figure out what we're dealing with and can provide some advice on how to get it under control, otherwise we may end-up separated again.
Good luck to everyone here!  I hope we can find some helpful advice and ideas here and share them.
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I think the parenting coach or parenting lessons would be awesome on many levels.  good luck
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a 10 year old who gets in trouble often regarding her love for conversation.  I was like that at her age.  I talk to her and let her know that sometimes she will get in trouble and lose out on things she enjoys because of her talking a times that are inappropriate.  I know that she understands but I think a part of it she can't control.  I have requested her instructors to give her more work to keep her busy and to possibly keep her mouth shut.

Peace and Blessings,

Kimani
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Avatar_n_tn
Im also desperate with my 6 year old daughter that doesnt stop talking. She drives me crazy because she runs her mouth all day long.
I dont think is ADD but there must be some type of diagnost to this problem. I know how each one of you feel or go throught each day. It really hirts me when i have to get to the point and scream at her "SHUT UP" it sound rough but her talking gets very anoying.

ATT: beba
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your children all sound alot like my just turned 3yr old daughter.... ive been looking at ADHD on google n she seems to tick alot of the boxes for hyperactive? should i take her to our GP?
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow, I'm not alone in the struggle. I have a six year old son that, if not corrected, will talk non-stop about anything. I've tried everything from rewards to punishment to restrictions. In class he finishes his work so quickly that he gets bored and starts talking to whoever will listen. His teacher has started assigning him extra work to keep busy, but that only goes so far. His grades academically are great, but because of his talking his behavior is lacking. He is an only child and I"m a single working mother, so sometimes I think he just craves the attention (positive or negetive) that talking gets him. The frustrating thing is when he wants something, such as computer time, toys, junk food he can be quite, but I can't, and don't want to, have to always bribe him into doing what he should do all the time. I guess my overall question is, is this something he'll grow out of? I was told by several people that the talking is a sign that he's very intelligent and I do believe this. The thing is I don't want to discourage his curiosity, but he needs to learn when it's appropriate and when it isn't. And I simply don't know how to teach him that.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you Thank You Thank You! This discussion has been a God-send and I needed some of the ideas posted here. I too LOVE my 6 y.o daughter and want so desperately to reach her and constructively teach her not to talk sooooo much. She is bright and inquisitive and figures out things so quickly that I don't want to hinder that at all. Thank you especially for the role playing ideas- maybe some social etiquette lessons will help her.
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Avatar_f_tn
MY 6 year old daughter never, ever stops talking.  OH my!  Some days i have more patience than others.  When i don't want to hear what she has to say, because she generally just wants to hear her own voice i think...i make her DEAR (drop everything and read) or give her math work.  She either does the work quietly, or says no way, and therefore goes somewhere else to play.  If she concentrates, this usually "shuts her up" so to speak.

Unfortunately, this summer, we have been camping, hard to send her away.  I threaten time outs and follow up on my threats everytime.  I've explained that my ears hurt, that she should not hog all the talking time, and that unless she has a message, we don't need a play by play commentary on every thing that happens inside her brain.  Some things should be thoughts you keep for yourself until someone asks about them.

works most of the time...but like i said, some days are better than others.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi there,
I have a almost 6 year old with a lot of the same issues. I tend to say "shut up" as well and I also find that when Im busy with something is the worse. So I know a lot of it is an attention thing. He is very much a "why" boy, so 80% of what he does say, starts with why. I have a gf that works as an ECE and she said that i should start asking him why back and getting him to start answering his own questions. This takes a lot of patience because you simply dont get rid of the constant chatter. The other issue is the repetitiveness of his questions. Questions like, "what are we doing after school?" or "what are we doing when I wake up?". Does anyone else have a child that HAS to know what is going on every minute of the day? LOL. I thought about placing him in something that could make good use of his talking skills such as acting classes, as I truly believe that he needs to be doing something in which he is good at and will exhaust that part in him. He is artistic and he can act- i call him a drama queen because he acts all day... everything is more dramatic then it needs to be and id say 60% of the time he cant sit still... so I feel for all your guy's pain. I am hesitant to say he has ADD, i think its more like Hyperactiveness.

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Avatar_m_tn
My now 4 1/2 year old son has been jabbering/talking nonstop for as long as he could make sounds.  I've always talked to him even as a baby as I find I am a natural teacher and "explainer". While this has helped prevent many behavioral issues (he's has been a breeze in almost every other way), I kind of fear I have created the talking monster. He mainly has liked to converse, so I found various ways to cope such as enstating quiet time in which I will not answer his questions-- especially in the car when I worry about safety due to distraction and the fatigue/headaches that his constant talking cause in me. I expected his talkativeness to decrease, but now his imagination has moved into full gear and he narrates stories and talks as charactors when he plays and also constant "sound effects" have started and with a boy playing with toy vehicles, the sounds are loud and limitless. I will explain that I need breaks from his noise and that he will need to play alone for a certain amount of time, but our house is not big and the sounds are. I am a person who needs lots of quiet to concentrate and remain calm so my nerves are jangled and my head aches much of the time.
It's such a relief to know there are other moms coping with this. I really do try to cherish each moment with my son and I know the years go by too fast. I tell myself that when he's 16, maybe he will no longer share anything with mama, so I appreciate our closeness now. My family and friends who do not understand the challenge of the nonstop talking say things like. "I could just listen to him all day. He's so interesting." Or "Never tell a child to be quiet, they learn by asking questions." As if I didn't know he is interesting or learning. They haven't spent constant time with the constant verbal barrage. Being able to keep silent, listen and learn through attention and observation is possibly a more highly valuable skill to acquire. I do worry a lot about how he will do in school once he goes for full days.
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We all have the same problem, and I have to say I feel so much better reading these posts - it's very lonely when you are ripping yourself up for being a bad parent.  My son has a heart of gold, but with everyone coming down on him for the "hyperactivity" he's starting to lash out with anger.  I suppose I understand that frustration.  I am of the "ignorance is bliss" group here, which means I refuse to have him evaluated because I don't want him labelled.  Sensory Integration Disorder or ADHD or both, which is likely.  So I've been reading a lot of books and one great one from amazon is "Arnie and his School Tools".  Read it with your child and then give it to your child's teacher or school counselor.  We are finding some success with:  allowing him to chew sugarless gum DISCREETLY during class; an "active seat" which is made by Ergo - it's an inflatable seat cushion that somewhat throws the child off balance and therefore forces him to sit up and sit still; a "quiet quilt" which is a weighted blanket - this helps his restlessness at night, and we got a lap-sized 4lb version for the car and the classroom.  I'll keep you posted on how this all helps him.  We have a teacher conference on Monday and the teacher also says she has some ideas to try.  Oh, and the most important thing!  These kids need sun on their skin for at least an hour a day so get them outside to play!  That natural, Vitamin D boost really helps!
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You are by no means horrible or a bad parent.  Kids can be the most frustrating, annoying, insanity driving, loving, creative joys that life gives us.  My 6 y/o has brought home a note for the 2nd time this week!  from school regarding her talking in class and getting up out of her seat (they've only had 3 days of school this week so far!).  Both my husband and I have "talked" to her repeatedly, but it just doesn't seem to be sinking in.  We do the whole rewarding good behaviors and punishing bad ones, but again that works for a little while then she's right back to her usual bad behaviors.  She "forgets the rules".  She's also quite bossy, likes to tell others how to do things, that she typically has no clue about.  
Everyone says she is a mini me.  And, in all honesty she is exactly like me, looks like me at that age, acts like me at that age, etc.  My mom, her mimi, even calls her by my name sometimes!  I'm hesitant to get her tested for ADD just like most parents out there, but at 40 y/o I was recently diagnosed with ADD.  The psychiatrist said that it's highly likely that I've had it my entire life and developed mechanisms/strategies to compensate that have recently begin to fail.  I recently discussed my concerns with my daughter possibly having ADD and he said that it is extremely likely that she does have it as well.  
So why would I let her struggle with school and behavioral issues, like I did as a child, if there are meds/treatments available to help?!  My schooling didn't improve until 2nd yr of high school when I became more involved with school and extra-curricula activities, which forced me to focus my time better (aka compensatory strategy)!
Is it the social stigma of ADD/ADHD that scares parents?  Is it that these kids get treated differently from teachers and school administrators?  If so, then changes (education) needs to take place for the educators and administrators.
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Oh thank God I found this post, it actually made me laught out loud, as I read trought your posts as I have a 6 year old little chatter box, who asks question 12/7, interrupts any conversation I try to have, has told his Taikwando teacher that he loves him, invites random people into the house and is obssessed with Out of Service buses, wich he asks everyone about, and no matter how many times you explain why the buses go out of service he still keeps asking why this is! Some days its ok, I answer his endless why questions and actually end up having a giggle with him when he keeps going on and on about the same random things, other days I just say huh huh, ok and yes and try to remain calm, wich sometimes is VERY difficult. Thumbs up guys, if we can make trought this, we can make trought anything!
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a similar problem, that my 10 year old son talks insessively and is driving us nuts. We don't believe he has ADHD/ADD, just likes to talk. He is very well liked by the teacher and students in his class. He brings home homework because he is too busy socializing with his neighbors and class mates. I asked how a reward system would work and he sighed and said "I hate rewards". He loves books from the school book orders, so I suggested we work with the teacher each week if he deserves a book.
I want to see him succeed. Any suggestions on how to help him focus and listen. Why it takes me 5 times to say no, it drives me nuts!! I know he''s a child. I don't want to medicate him, as I believe its not ADHD.
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I see allot of people on here have the same issue as I do with my daughter. Had anyone gotten any helpful feed back as to what to do?? When she runs out of people that will listen, she'll just keep talking herself. She just turned 6 two days ago but this has been going on for a over a year. Patience is something I think I once had but muster up strength every day to deal. I just hold in my frustration and scream inside while I walk away from her. I find it depresses me allot to live this way too. I say Be quiet please in a tone like im chewing glass, no yelling and  never shut up but I have thought it. Causes for her talking would have to be attention, communication frustration between child and adults  (the more she talks the more we'll get what she is saying in her mind), she loves to argue too and will argue with her toys as if in conversation, I think she is trying hard to figure out the world and talks or asks many questions to get the understanding she desires. I don't know but from the stuff she talks about this is what I gather from it. She is sweet, smart and every one at school knows who she is, People I never met tell me how loving and sweet she is when I tell them who I am. She is never happy with me, no matter what I do. Take her places like Zoo, mall, lake she hates it, buy her a movie she wanted for 6 months surprise her and she says "oh" like she never wanted it. She gets happy when other people do stuff for her. I don't know how much more one on one time I can fit in I am always reading to her, having her help me in the kitchen, stuff like that or just talking till my throat hurts still she craves attention.. All I can add to anyone seeking help is I am consistant in the boundries and how much of the behavior I will accept with her. Strict rule number one if it is family movie time and she wants to watch with the older people she must be quiet and we allow her a question period after the movie, if she feels she has questions to ask during. This seems to work cuz if she isn't compliant she has to sit in her room while the rest of us have our movie. Other thing is at school she talks and acts up in line. Allot of this is failor in the teachers end to control her class but I do know my child acts up cuz I sit in and watch her and her teacher  from time to time. Sometimes she doesn't know I am there. Most of the stuff she talks about in school is stuff that has happened at home like new shoes or new puppy. I don't know really how to get her to behave when she is in another persons care. I exspect that person to have background dealing with child  and be able to cope on some level. Not make the problems worse by only addressing the problem when she is having a bad day but be consistant on there disapline also. It's like telling a child "when your father gets home, I am telling on you" then the child is awsome for Dad but is terrible for Mom. You have to address the problem when it happens to get the results you seek. Atleast with my kids teacher I have this issue. I tell my daughter shame on you. Behave in class or else you wont be going to the park after school (an activity we do to help her blow of steem after school) and I enforce it. Or if I feel she didn't get enough play time at school that day I'll take away another privlege but that just gets her to behave for me not so much the teacher. Our teacher was 8 mos pregnant when she started the year end of Aug. she was then gone from sept till after thanksgiving. The sub was awesome. Our teacher has a behavior color system. blue-red blue being good yellow waring, red Bad. My daugher was getting blue faces all but one day a week, she'd get warning yellow in subs care. Her reg teacher has been back for 3 days and every day my daughter has had yellow marks. Other teacher was hands on, caring and did a great job. My Kindergartner can read only after a few months in her care. Now I am told she can't read words I know she knows and can only count to 29, she counts to 100 constantly at home. I think my daughter is haveing a hard time with the transistion to the teacher from the sub. Talking is what she is being writen up for. Her first day back from maternity leave she addressed the class as I am so disapointed..hmm really?? kindergarten? She left school bitchy ( i say to myself,  okay your very pregnant your entitled) I had hoped she'd come back rested and eager to get into the teaching spirit but really am disapointed my self that this is what she came back with. The sub was amazing and the kids were doing great. Now my daughter sulks all the way home from school and says her teacher is grouchy all the time. What to do.. what to do. I am not dissmissing my childs talking she needs to behave I'd like to see my daughter mature some, stop talking sooo much and have some respect for me.  There has to be a fine median some where.
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Rangergirl,  do you notice that you talk a lot also?
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No, I just have the ability to type 85 WPM and think you ought to find something better to do with your time then bud in where your opinion is not wanted. I also have more then one issue that corresponds with the underlying problem "talking"  and it required more then one paragraph to discuss. Maybe another Mom or Dad has the same problems. Excuse me for trying to find some help for my child and my family. Get a life!
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13167_tn?1327197724
I meant that question very honestly,  sorry you felt it was hostile.

My son talked a lo at that aget,  and when I'd ask him to please be quiet he'd say but then my mind feels sleepy.   I think that's probably what's going on with your daughter,  needing to keep verbalizing to keep her brain focused.

BTW,  I type 135 words per minute,  but that doesn't mean my posts are  very very long.  
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Avatar_f_tn
My 4 YO Daughter talks a lot. There is no filter from thought to talk.

I try telling her that I love her, and we don't need to talk all the time to show that we love each other.

I don't want her to shut down completely, and I hate the thought of hurting her feelings and our long term relationship but I am definitely struggling with this. It's very hard to keep patience and very hard to draw a line with her about "quiet time" as she ignores me because she doesnt want to be hurt, and 5 mins later is chattering away again.

My son is very quiet, only speaks when necessary and is a great kid to have a conversation with about what he did at school, etc (Age 5). When he and I start to converse, my daughter jumps in an tries to interrupt and though I try and sound interested in what she has to say, it's just not relevant to the conversation and I find myself often saying things like wow, or oh ok. Sometimes all I can do is be silent because there is simply nothing to respond to. Again she says everything she is thinking.

I hope we can resolve this and that I can teach her that silence is often more powerful than the constant need to be noticed or heard.

I haven't quite put my finger on how to nip this in the bud yet, but hopefully she can learn that people are much more interested in what you say when you say only what is important.
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I have a 9 year old who will talk non-stop to anyone who will listen.  And I think that is the answer to why many of our children talk so much...they are wanted to be heard...I mean TRULY heard.  They may not alway make sense verbally, but if you pay attention to their clues in their sentences, you'll be surprised at how much they are really saying.  Once we started really listening and paying attention to her needs, she didn't seem to ramble as much.
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Avatar_f_tn
my son too is an excessive talker, from the moment he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed. He is very smart so i do not want curb and potential mental growth, but there has to be a way to calm him down and learn about the quality of what he has to say rather than non-stop.

If anyone has been successful in overcoming this problem please feel free to share your insights
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So glad I found this forum, I felt like the worst parent in the world.  I have just recently quit work to be a stay-at-home mom.  I have a 6yo daughter in kindergarten and a 5yo son in pre-school.  Pre-school is only 1/2 a day M-Th and not at all on Friday.  So we have all day together on Friday, mind you, I love my Kids dearly, but my son talks non-stop.  We do the no talking for 10 minutes thing, but I still felt bad about asking him to stop talking.  I know what he is saying is very important to him, but most of it is just randomness to me.  He's not a bad kid, he's very well behaved, especially out in public, and when he talks he's very soft spoken. But, if he picks up a toy to play with it he will say something like, hey mommy, I just picked up Thomas to play with, Thomas is blue, Thomas is a train engine........ and on and on.  He can literally think of dozens of things to say about picking up that one item to play with.  I know he gets part of it from me, I have always been a talker, but I am being honest when I say, he could literally talk for hours without stopping.  He's not an independent player, so he's under my heels all day long when we are home together, talking the whole time.  He's not so bad when my daughter is home too, he sits in the room with her and plays and doesn't talk so constant then.  I just wish I could find something that he enjoys enough that he will take a break every now and again, not stop talking completely.  I've heard the'll do that soon enough.
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I am reading lots and lots of the same problem. I have a 7 year old that is will not stop talking in school. Have tried rewards. Have tried taking away things. Have tried counseling.  I am looking for help. We all know what does'nt seem to be working. Does ANYONE know what does?
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I've had two boys with the same issue. My oldest is 26 and my youngest is 8. The notes from teachers are all the same: talking and making noises. He too walks up to strangers and makes friends very easily. I think it is an asset, but others see it as intrusive. He is overtly friendly and happy--has been since birth. How can that be a bad thing? But it is--at least in today's school environment. I have taught public school for 25 years, grade K-6 and I welcome the child who brings questions and curiosity into the room. I also recognize the need for socializing and talking. I try to do a lot of group work and allow for movement throughout the day. There are ways for teachers to make talk constructive and on-task. I also find that these types of children do best when in programs for the Gifted.

It may truly be a problem that I need to take seriously, but medication is not an option for my youngest son. I tried it with my older son, along with extensive social skills training, and got no results. In fact, the medication brought about Tourettes, which they say it can do. I am a current PhD student in the field of education, and when I find the answer I will be sure to pass it along. I can truly empathize with you all.
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I have found most children to be talkative , i like it, my opinion is its perfectly normal , enjoy it, it would be worse and you would be more worried if they said ..nothing
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It is surprising to see all the parents that share similar issues with their children, I have a 7 year old who faces the same thing. Has anyone ever thought that this is quite natural and we should be finding natural ways of helping them? I am so tired of people throwing around the word ADD or ADHD... it seems like soon the whole world will be diagnosed as such. I am so against medicating these kinds because it does have side effects and does affect them in the long run. I know I can get a little frustrated when I get a call from my son's school but I will continue to try with him and to find natural methods/ ways of helping him. This is just my take on things... not questioning anyone's parenting skills... Each individual do what’s best for their families
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Totally agree with you I think it has got to proportions way out of line these labels and the drugs that go with them are far too easy to obtain, I think there maybe a case for it at times but nothing like the proportions,we see the side effects are horrendous that  many of  these children go through .Well said ...its refreshing to hear.
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My 7 yr. old son has been on adhd medication since pre-school and i have had to switch his medication until now because of the horrible side effects.  I am sick of having to give him a pill each morning just like he is sick of taking it.  It helps him a lot in school especially with focusing and getting work finished.  However, he still talks up a storm about every little thing he can think of and it drives me nuts to where I tell him that  I need a time out and will be back in 5 minutes.  This works, because I will go in another room for that amount of time, take a breath and then come back out and let him know it is okay to say what he needs to say but slowly and calmly.  Otherwise I let him know that i can't understand him and if he want's to talk to me he has to slow down.   Its a work in progress and I am hoping that some day i can take him off of his medication.  Like for an example of his talkativeness....tonight he talked about a favorite toy for 2 hours straight!!!!!!  He will interupt adults talking, be loud, make annoying noises and immediately smother me with talking when i pick him up after work.  I know he has a lot to say and misses me but omg!  Only so much I can take.   Anyways, I'm gonna keep reading all of these posts, they help.
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Hah Have to say I wish I had mine around now to 'talk my head off'  would adore to turn back the clock ......
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Omg, I knew I was not alone, but this is like a breath of fresh air.. I have the same problem, daughter, age 6, babbling as we speak on the bus singing her own made up song same line over and over for the whole ride despite my sweet "please hush while mommy reads" a million times.. I dnt want her on medication, and although he's not her father my fiance n his family try their hardest to help to only get just as frustrated, I feel lost :(
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I have this same issue. My son talks non-stop even to himself and sometimes in his sleep. He has trouble not talking when others are talking and talks over the teacher. He is easily frustrated and wants to be involved in everything including adult conversations. If you ask him to be quiet he is quiet for maybe 5 seconds and we have never managed to make it longer. He gets in trouble at school because of the talking and he doesn't want to "transition" to other activities. I am loathe to say that he is ADHD but he very much could be. He is 4 and this has been happening his entire life. I know that he is still young so most say oh he will grow out of it but it is just getting worse as time goes on. Anyone have any advice?
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I have this same issue. My son talks non-stop even to himself and sometimes in his sleep. He has trouble not talking when others are talking and talks over the teacher. He is easily frustrated and wants to be involved in everything including adult conversations. If you ask him to be quiet he is quiet for maybe 5 seconds and we have never managed to make it longer. He gets in trouble at school because of the talking and he doesn't want to "transition" to other activities. I am loathe to say that he is ADHD but he very much could be. He is 4 and this has been happening his entire life. I know that he is still young so most say oh he will grow out of it but it is just getting worse as time goes on. Anyone have any advice?
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Wow, sounds like our little man. He's almost 6 in kinder and asked me to tape his mouth shut when he goes to school Monday so he won't get in trouble. His mom, my daughter was ADD and took meds. She is VERY against meds because of her eventual abuse of meds and subsequent drug addiction. I teach 2nd grade as well so I know what his teacher goes through.  It is hard and sad but we are hopeful that first grade will be better. If not, perhaps I can talk my daughter into seeing a doctor about him
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Wow, sounds like our little man. He's almost 6 in kinder and asked me to tape his mouth shut when he goes to school Monday so he won't get in trouble. His mom, my daughter was ADD and took meds. She is VERY against meds because of her eventual abuse of meds and subsequent drug addiction. I teach 2nd grade as well so I know what his teacher goes through.  It is hard and sad but we are hopeful that first grade will be better. If not, perhaps I can talk my daughter into seeing a doctor about him
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i fnd myself reading about my eight year old daughter in all of your blogs.  sometimes i feel driven to dispair with her nonstop talking and questions. i genuinely believe that she just likes to hear herself talk.  i can't hardly hold a thought in my head for more than a few seconds most days.  then i end up yelling at her and then feeling bad the rest of the day.  i hate living this way.  i love her dearly though, she is just the sweetest girl with a pure heart.  the sad thing is though i have a thirteen year old son who seems to get lost because he hardly says two words all day (unless they are fighting).  i feel worst of all for him.  with soccer season on and a husband home sick from work and of course my daughter, i bet i had not spoken more than two sentences to him today.  then he went to bed without so much as a "goodnight" for me.

has anyone here ever heard of dr. henry clouds book, boundries? or how to teach kids boundries?  i think i will try to see if he might have some suggestions.  i have read his book a long time ago and found him to be quite sensible and practicle as well as understanding. but h never sugar coats anything, which i like.  he just lets the chips fall where they may and you decide for yourself.
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I found this post while looking for help in dealing with my 9 year old son. He talks alot, yes, but its different from what you all are describing. He has to have the last word about EVERYTHING. I can be talking to his brother in another room, on another level, and he will have to say something. He's very very very observant, and dependable because of it. I try to explain to him that it's a gift to be observant, but that he doesn't have to say something about EVERYTHING! If I tell him to do something, he never does it without a challenge or argument. His other two brothers will just say Yes Ma'am and do as their told, but not him. It is very annoying, not just to me, but to everyone in our household. It is not pleasant to have him around. I have tried everything. Child psychologist says there's nothing wrong with him. He's an A B student, does all his school work without having to be told to do it, but he's a loud, bossy, back talking child with a wonderful heart. I just wish I could get through one day of not having to tell him to stop talking. I wish we could legally use duct tape! That's how bad it gets! HELP!
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My 5 year old is like all these other children, constantly talking.  He even talks in his sleep.  He takes concerta but it has been hit or miss on the dose.  We are still working on that.  He is very impulsive too.  So that is a constant struggle.  This drives me crazy.  He always had to be the center of attention. It is very frustrating for me and everyone in my house.  Any other suggestions besides meds?  The guy who is getting a parenting coach, where did you find them?  That may be helpful for me.  Thanks.
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Im   going through the same thing with my 5 year old.its so hard .she does not stop.!!!
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Hi I feel like you and all the other caring wonderful mothers are talking about my 4 year old.She is very bright but talks incessantly all the time and being a single mum it drives me to insanity alot but I want to help her with it because according to my parents I was exactly the same.I have forever felt like an outcast and not one of the family due to them and everyone i knew at school treating me the same when I honestly couldnt help that i was taling so much, I was bullied for it and dropped out of school and went down the wrong path. My parents never helped me with it they just hated me for it and now I want to help my daughter before she ends up like me it scares me.
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Hi I feel like you and all the other caring wonderful mothers are talking about my 4 year old.She is very bright but talks incessantly all the time and being a single mum it drives me to insanity alot but I want to help her with it because according to my parents I was exactly the same.I have forever felt like an outcast and not one of the family due to them and everyone i knew at school treating me the same when I honestly couldnt help that i was taling so much, I was bullied for it and dropped out of school and went down the wrong path. My parents never helped me with it they just hated me for it and now I want to help my daughter before she ends up like me it scares me.
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My kid talks a lot. Sometimes, I tell him that I have a headache and  need a break to rest and after fair warning I basically become unresponsive for about five minutes. This frustrates him if he's not through with talking so I try to do this in between topics, and I think it might be a bad parenting technique BUT I think it's a better tactic than yelling "shut up!". Plus, him being frustrated when I refuse to talk is much like me being frustrated when he talks too much so I think my talk breaks may equalize our relationship a bit and teach him that other people require   breaks while socialising. It probably helps that he's little older than most of your kids and we share crude/black humour (for kids) so me refusing to talk is sort of funny to both of us. Sometimes after I rest I secretly play a game whereby I attempt to out talk him on whatever issue he's ranting about, which usually makes him laugh. So there's two tactics you might want to try; talk break followed by "attempt to out talk them" game. Of course, if they get mad I would stop the "out talk them game" but if it's seen as funny, give it a try. It might make them feel better and make them realize that you DO want to talk to them, just not all the time.  
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My 9 year old son, who has adhd and is on the autism spectrum, won't stop talking!  I have to answer the same questions all day everyday with him.  People who have kids and don't have this problem cannot understand the stress it can put on a parent.  He asked very specific questions and wants specific answers like "is this place newer than this place?"  "How much newer?  Why?"  "Is so and so town shrinking?" "Why?"  I mean very specific questions all day long.  He goes to bed still asking questions.  He wakes up asking questions.  I pick him up from school asking questions.  We go to town asking questions.  I can't get away from it.  They are many many other questions he asks as well.  Sometimes I will outline all questions I will not answer today before he starts and that sometimes helps.  He usually beats me to it and I start my day out completely frustrated.  He will also change answers that you give him around.  You can answer his question and he will completely change what you just said.  I joke that he will make a great lawyer of politican one day; but inside I am crying.  My husband and I tell him often that we will not answer his questions because we have already answered them and he needs to remember them.  He is on Straterra 30mg. a day to help with adhd.  He has a learning disability.  Behind in about everything, except math.  He loves math.  Don't know what to do!!!!
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LOL! I can definitly relate to everyone's post. There's not much I can add. I have a 6 year old son who is also very bright and loves to talk. He gets it honest though. My mom told me that I was a big talker around that age too. She said she was constantly getting notes from the teacher. She still has my report card from 1st grade and it reads: Reading-- A, Math-- A, P/E,Music, Art--All A's.  Conduct--D! And under the comments the teacher wrote that I talked excessively! So it's hard to get mad at my son, knowing I was the same way as a girl :)
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I know the original post is a few years old...but ahhhh, how nice to read that I'm not the only GOOD parent who has said the "S" word (SHUT UP!) to my beautiful, energetic, sweet, smart, creative, bright, chatterbox. It kills me to admit it, because I am a teacher. Wait---not only do I teach children, but I also help teach parents better coping and parenting skills after they have been reunified with their children...I KNOW the right things to do, I teach the right things to do, and every now and then, I still lose my cool. I'm human. Sigh. :)

I was diagnosed this past year with ADHD, and finally agreed to start medication six months after my diagnosis. It made a difference for me, but I also know that I don't want to start my daughter on meds until she is capable of telling me what her body feels like inside.

Now, my baby girl drives me nuts---but reading these comments has really helped. Sometimes you're too close to your situation to have a healthy perspective. Someone made a comment to the effect of "Your child might be verbalizing constantly to stay focused on a task." HOLY COW!!! Thank you!!! That was a switch for my light bulb! That's exactly what my 41/2 year old does!!! And you know what? I do it too without my meds!

Thanks for being open, everyone. Sometimes it's hard to be vulnerable and admit that we're not the perfect parents and that our children are not perfect. But oh, how encouraging for the rest of us to read!!! :)
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OMG - I really get it, I did a search trying to figure out what to do with my 6 year old daughter that won't stop talking and is getting in trouble at school and home.  We are only in the second week of school and she as gotten two warnings, something the teacher said she will not star until September unless something is really out of control.  Last year her kindergarten teacher taped her mouth shut in front of the class, I did not find out until months later and I was really upset, but I can see why she did it.  We changed schools because we are moving, so I thought it would be a fresh start, but if she keeps going at this rate, none of the teachers are going to want her.  
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Wow I am not glad that this has to be dealt with so often but I am so glad I am not alone....my 8 year old son is in every and all conversations...and will complain loudly if he didn't hear all of a conversation between my husband and myself that is if we can have a conversation...I am thinking of having "yes but" tattooed on his forehead....it is his favorite words..."go clean your room"......"Yes But" is constantly in trouble at school for talking out....he is not ADD he does not fly off the walls (well I mean he is a boy and has his moments) but it is just non stop talking to anyone and everyone who will listen...strangers included ...I am so paranoid he will just walk off one day with some "friendly stranger" he has no boundaries...
will talk about farts and any other inappropriate matters at inappropriate times...When I was a kid I was complete and total opposite...I talked to no one....so for me a quiet lover this is very hard to take some days...he is very smart..and very kind and loving....like all your kids...I would just love the arguments and wheeling dealing of his to stop before I go to the nut house...I always try to say no calmly but he keeps at it till I finally get mad and yell at him...I hate myself for doing it..and try so hard not to...some days are better than others for me....but ahhhhhhhhh!! By the way my husband talks a lot will talk to any stranger...any of you with the same case??
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I recommend getting her IQ tested FIRST- our society has gotten to the point where we want to diagnose anyone who is different.  My son was and is a big talker- he thinks quickly, is bossy, and sadly, can be obnoxious.  He also has a gifted IQ- When I learned about his talents- I started doing research to learn how to best nurture the appropriate use of his intellect.  It is common for kids with very high IQs to be big talkers, little laywers, bossy, etc.  I would ALWAYS try to support and help my child learn self-control, social skills at home BEFORE looking into a diagnosis or professional help.  I work in the MH field and sadly, because of how that system works, would avoid getting help unless things were really dysfunctional, and your daughter's behavior does not sound dysfunctional to me.  You are looking at your daughter being labeled, medicated, and worse-  Just my oppinion and good luck! : )
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I agree - you should make sure you're not dealing with an child with high intelligence.  My 5-year-old daughter is also different from most kids her age.  She's type A.  She talks incessantly with her peer group or adults she knows.  Expects to make friends with everyone in Kindergarten which does not necessarily happen right away.  She is also very happy and a drama queen...  She's entertaining but exhausting.  Smart can be challenging.  In her case, if there is not enough stimulation like in her pre-school last year, she starts to get anxious.  I've been noticing that late fall and winter she is subject to times of over-focusing on odd minute details and getting upset.  Her teacher said to turn her attention to something that will challenge her brain.  She's in Kindergarten now and it's much better.  She has extended K as well so there is more to do.  She is a little overly focused on friends and cliques at this very moment so I'm taking this as a sign that I need to keep her life full of sports, getting outside, learning to read, talking about math ideas, hobbies, etc.  At night, she reads to me for a penny a word (I have to reward her to get her to slow down and learn to read), then I read her a book and we talk about it, last I spell words on her back.  It seems every minute of the day has to be thought through to manage her.  I love her, and I hope she will continue to be happy and be able to manage herself when she is older.
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I too thought that she was talking about my child, a lil boy. Hell I thought she had a video camera HIDDEN ON US! I wouldn't edit anything from the dog n strangers to school to watching the movies, random things he's says and it being an everyday/all day thing. Ppl have been saying he's a genius since he was about...2. Nd he too falls behind in class nd has to be isolated. He can play for hours alone and talks the whole time. What to do? I'm gonna loose it. Ur feelings are 100% valid. I know its years later but I had to speak on it
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my son talked a lot, very bright, asked quezzies all the time.  Diagnosed ADD at primary school.  We chose not to medicate as he was coping fine - these kids are often exceptionally clever and cope with the disability.  However, he went on to university and wheels came off as he tried to complete a Civil Engineering degree.  Years of criticism "you could do better" etc.  He over-corrected and now has overfocussed ADD - yikes - now we want to medicate it's almost impossible.  He is suffering from extreme anxiety, minor ocd and major ADD - anxiety makes it sooo much worse.  So please medicate so they grow up with good self esteem, guide gently and love them to bits!  I could just cry for my son.
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I have a 5 year old and she's the same way. She constantly needs attention.  She's always trying to be the boss or talk over people.  She was in ballet and was always trying to hug the teacher, looking in the mirror not paying attention. She can be annoying and I hate saying that. I need pointers  
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Hi I can completley understand as you could have been describing my 10 year old son, who just does not stop talking.  He also has been described as very intelligent by many people, but still only running along average or below at school.  he is wuite high maintenance and rarely gets invited round other kids houses, even though he is such a special and kind boy.  also other adults I kinow clearly do  not like him, as one of my frineds sons said to him at school, my dad hates you.  This is heartbreaking for me and my husband and I just do not know what to do.!
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From all the reading I've done on the subject, most children with ADD are above average intelligence. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD with hyperactivity just before her 5th birthday. She has most all the classic symptoms - impulsive, high energy level, easily distracted, can't remember more than one instruction at a time, bossy, very egocentric, talks nonstop, no personal boundaries, interrupts, blurts out at school... She's also very creative, very smart and has a big heart. The neuro-developmentalist that diagnosed her recommended doing cross-lateralization exercises to get the brain hemispheres to work together better; giving her vitamin/mineral supps, amino acid supps, low sugar, no preservatives/dyes... in her diet. I also give her omega fatty acids in the recommended ratios, a liquid magnesium supp, and probiotics. I have her on a gluten free, low dairy, low sugar diet and no processed foods, rarely anything with preservatives like nitrates and nitrites... She is very strong willed. Academically she is doing great in kindergarten but struggles with not talking. Socially she plays pretty well but she wears on her friends when she has to direct every aspect of a play-date. She doesn't get normal social cues kids give when they don't want to play. After she recently had a bad day at school where the teacher asked her numerous times to be quiet I had heard epson salt baths might help so I'm trying that now as well. I have definitely seen improvement with her behavior since starting a year ago especially with the magnesium - if I forget to give it to her for more than a few days she has night terrors which she had regularly before I started giving it to. As you can see I'm doing everything I can in hopes to avoid medicating her. I've heard pros and cons about it. For one thing that kids sometimes need medications to deal with the side effects of the adhd meds. There are days when I just want to throw up my hands and medicate but worry that there will be irreversible negative consequences. It is a tough decision for me.
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My daughter is 12 years  and let me tell she talks lots I mean big time   she don't stop  she has no patience talk fast very fast  smiles lots  and very active. If I talk on the phone she as no respect. It will mom lesson mom I am talking , I say  not now and then she screams.At Scholl she is a treasure teachers loves her she is very  good in class and don't talk much , at lunch break she talks lots  her friends tells her wow breath lol . She is sweet everyone likes her, but me her father her brothers and sister are all going crazy. Anyone as a idea please help  and we love her.
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Hi,
what a great place to have an open conversation. I have a little boy in class who talks constantly. His parents told me about a strategy that they use for helping him to follow instructions immediately. They call it, 'my time, your time". When he is on the teacher's or parent's time, he has to comply immediately. Otherwise, he can take his time. I wonder if this strategy would help.
I find the little boy is anxious as well, so giving him some sensory object to help him setttle really helps and the talking seems to settle.
Good luck, you are all amazing.
Letterbox learntoread
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Have you considered that your child is gifted? Giftedness and ADHD look very similar. Many kids today are labeled and put on medication before they are considered as gifted. Many kids who are gifted also have learning disabilities.

Teacher for over ten years.
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My child sounds identical to all of yours...just wondering though, do any of your children get very upset with themselves when they get in trouble for it?? Or when getting in trouble for other things?? My son (who is 6) will make comments like, "I don't deserve to be alive" when he gets in serious trouble. If he is in trouble for something minor he calls himself an 'idiot' and a 'stupid kid'. I by no means call him those things myself. He is VERY  dramatic so it is hard to tell if he is just saying whatever he can to get out of trouble and make me feel sorry for him. I make sure to tell him that all those things he says about himself aren't true...and he says he knows and  that he doesn't mean it. It still worries me though. In school his teacher has also noticed that he puts himself down when he gets in trouble. His teacher thinks he has adhd, I'm going to get him tested but do not want him on meds. I find that of all the symptoms of 'adhd' this one seems to be the most concerning, does anyone else have this problem???
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I may be the only person in this discussion who may have a totally opposite view to every one. When I was a kid I was the only child and was quite shy. I turned out to be an exceptionally intelligent kid, topping all the way even in college and University. But when it came to doing job/real life, the shyness means I am not a social person and my career was affected as a result of this. For over 15 years in the industry that I joined as a computer developer I am still considered the "best" developer anyone has ever met, but I haven't really grown in my career. When the phone rings in the house I get a flight-or-flight response/adrenaline rush and I try to avoid picking it up and let it go to voicemail almost everytime.

I have noticed that most managers, and other people at very high posts are people who are good talkers. Most of my classmates who were good in talking are now CEOs or CTOs or Presidents of companies, while I am still stuck. I notice that most kids from my college who were extremely good in studies became very good at taking orders and are doing their "job" pretty well, while the people who could talk have become entrepreneurs. Have you ever noticed a CEO of a company who hardly talks?

My daughter is 7 years old now and ever since she started talking at age 2 she has the same exact qualities that everyone has described in the above posts. My wife gets very annoyed at times and asked her to shut up plenty of times but due to my background I am always at odds with me wife. I am happy that my daughter is completely opposite of me. I am happy that she can talk non-stop, has the ability to invite complete strangers to our house, can ask questions that are very very smart. I don't want to curb her natural behavior even if it's a pain sometimes whether in class or at home. I want her to succeed in life. I hope that she will achieve some happiness and success in life due to her talent of speaking - whether she becomes a lawyer, a politician, a CEO or anything she wants - where she can be happy as well. I am afraid that if I curb her natural instincts now, then she may become like me. I don't want a smart kid who is good at taking orders when she grows up. I want her to be able to express her feelings to anyone by her talking talent and utilize that talent.

I am not sure if the answer to her non-stop talking is a medication rather I want her to be encouraged. I and my wife often end up disagreeing as a result and I am still unsure what's the right approach to her beautiful gift of gab. I wish there was a right answer to this.
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Hi
It was fantastic to hear your experiences. I spend my whole time feeling intense guilt about my son. I do love him, but I am frustrated with him all the time. Isn't that terrible. He starts talking at 5.30 a.m. and continues until he crashes out at 8 p.m. It isn't even as if we have conversations - it is just a non stop series of questions or what seem like aggressive comments. If I don't give him a proper answer he'll challenge me - "why aren't you talking to me", "why do you just say mm", "why is your voice cross" even if I am really trying. Some days it feels like verbal assault. He is 5 and my life has improved since he started school but I know his hasn't which adds to the guilt. We've moved schools as he was getting bullied and the new school is much better but the other children just find him "too much" of everything - too talkative, too intense, too aggressive. He is insanely competitive - he'd turn opening the post into a race - and I'm not so it is exhausting.

Part of me feels that a lot of problem is sibling rivalry. His nearly 3 year old sister is a sweetie - she smiles all the time and is therefore popular with children and adults. He has been very difficult from birth but I can manage him one to one (he still talks but we go to science shows or some of the things he is interested in and talk about those which is much better) but of course a 2 year old needs attention and he absolutely can not cope with it. Even if I've been reading to him while she amuses herself (he's struggling with reading and writing) he'll then stand between us talking or dancing about or throwing her around roughly.

I spend my whole life trying different techniques to get him to calm down / slow down / be less aggressive but he is just getting worse. Sometimes he acts as if he hates me - and himself. I feel as we need professional help but he isn't disruptive at school so maybe it is just me? They find him hard work but he is able to be quiet if interested in something - but I can't provide that level of interest routinely around the house.

Please help!
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Avatar_m_tn
My six year old son and husband have the same issue, and for the parents who are posting saying "oh, you should be happy they talk so much", they have no idea.  It's not just constant talking, it's constant noise, verbalizing and repetition.  It's so hard, particularly when you google "person who talks too much" and this thread and a whole lot of others about dealing with obnoxious people in the workplace who talk too much.  People are really annoyed by this behavior, and even if the family can deal with it, the outside world generally can't.  My husband is medicated (adderall (adderrall)), and it has helped some.  I feel like he can actually stop if asked, under certain circumstances, where I don't feel like my son can stop, even with repeated requests.  My son has been treated for sensory integration disorder, which is OT for the last three years, but this issue has not been dealt with directly.  I feel like it's an auditory stimulation thing, like he is constantly seeking that kind of stimulation, but I have never seen the two things related anywhere, and certainly, no information about how to deal with it.  I may decide to medicate him, but so far, I feel like he's too young.

He also has to have the last word, which seems to me is more that if he hears noise, he's going to make more noise.  so I think it's best to let him have the last word, otherwise, it will never end.  Gives you a new perspective on those annoying people at work that need to have the last word, huh?

Anyway, good luck everyone. If I ever figure anything out, I will post it here.  You all have a tough job and your patience is impressive!
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A child that has ADHD has ZERO impulse control.  Basically the kid can't help it.  While I believe medication is necessary during school, a kid shouldn't be drugged on amphetimine 24/7.  As a result, I result to one word, iPod.  I love my son but sometimes I get really frustrated.  I was searching online to come up with come solutions for this evidentally popular subject.  He talks, sings, hums, clicks, basically just never shuts up!  Instead of getting mad, I put on earphones.  In fact, I have earphones in now.  I don't see where anybody has recommended this so I thought I would share my little secret for my son that helps me make it through the day.  
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My son is 8 and doesn't have adhd but sensory integration disorder.  He's recently gotten into pleasure reading-----  we direct him to the book he is reading.  Even better than the electronics (which my kids get to do as well but we are trying to move away from that.)  

We do work on impulse control because the thing to think about for a younger child is his peer relations.  Their friends can get mad at them for going on and on.  So, we work directly on conversational skills.  We do occupational therapy and these are the kinds of things that they address.  We work on voice volume, give and take conversation, reading body language as to when to wrap up a discussion, flexibility in conversation and changing course of what we are talking about based on how others respond.  We spoon feed these skills to our son and it really helps.  goodluck
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Avatar_m_tn
My Daughter is 6 years old and likes to talk allot. She asks many questions and talks quite loud she asks things that are not that important.Eg: My husband went to the shop and my daughter says,
Mum where has dad gone. (shop I say)
What is here doing at the shop (buying some food and groceries for home I say)
Why? ( We need them I say)
What kind of things ( bits and pieces I say)

Here is just one example I have for you.
Also could someone tell me why my daughter has to give me around 4-5 kisses and hugs when I leave the house. She ends up crying if I have to tell her thats enough. She then tells my husband Mummy has gone, I miss her cant she stay home. Sometimes I am late to go to work due to the hold back.

If anyone has any information I would greatly appreciate it.
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Avatar_f_tn
wow i just came online saearching the internet for something to tell me if my daughter is normal, she turns 6 next month, on feb 13 2012, then i came upon your post, her teacher keeps giving her warnings, my kid is really friendly adn sweet but has the same issues as your daughter, when i was reading your post its like u described my daughter, if u find a cure or something please let me know
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Avatar_f_tn
wow i just came online saearching the internet for something to tell me if my daughter is normal, she turns 6 next month, on feb 13 2012, then i came upon your post, her teacher keeps giving her warnings, my kid is really friendly adn sweet but has the same issues as your daughter, when i was reading your post its like u described my daughter, if u find a cure or something please let me know
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Avatar_m_tn
OMG my daughter is 5, has just started school and also talks her head off.

It amazes me to see so many parents talking about this as being a negative behaviour that need a CURE!. You should all be grateful that your children can talk freely and engage others, I get a little frustrated at my daughter sometimes but I know that all the questions are just her way of learning and understanding the world around her.

I see it as a sign of a inquisitive mind looking to learn and find information, kids are by nature friendly to others because we haven't burdened them with our skewed adult view of the big bad world.

Let them be kids and talk, its the best way for them to learn.


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Oh no,  I think being talkative is normal and cute.  I've got a talkative 6 year old.  My son who is 8, however, isn't just talkative but lacks social skills that we've had to help him with.  It is different.  He isn't just talking during class----  which actually, he doesn't do----  but will start talking to a friend without giving them a chance to talk at all, so he is basically talking AT them without taking breaths, or making eye contact.  His friends get annoyed with him.  My cherub could never irritate me . . . well, okay.  Yes he can.  But that wasn't what it was about for us.  It was more teaching him how to have a conversation and read personal cues from others for when to wrap up a long story (and I mean LONG) based on his peers wanting their turn to talk, etc.  

That is what I was referring to.  Bubbly, talkative personalities are different than those that lack social skills like my boy.  Who . . . is getting much better.  Proud of him.  
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Avatar_m_tn
I so love your perspective My son never stops talking from waking at 6 am til 7.30 pm (sometimes carries on in his sleep. I've always been against labeling people. One thing  I do know is without my IPOD I would have an insanity label on ME. Its a godsend it really is. He is not even bothered if no one will listen he will chat away for hours by himself giving a running commentary on anything and everything.
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Avatar_f_tn
My son who has just turned 3 is the same,very active,emotionally demanding and talks without a full stop!It is absolutely draining!I feel guilty for looking forward to the times that he attends Nursery because it's the only bit of respite I get! I don't think it's ADHD or ADD as I had as a child because he is a well behaved child but he talks constantly and often tells me to repeat what he has said back to him.He also makes up his his own words and gets me to repeat them back to him and I must keep saying the word back to him until he is satisfied that I have said it correctly (well in his way!).I feel as if it's all Anxiety based,he never seems satisfied with all the attention he does get.He made up a word at only 2 "Gankseal" it's still one of his favourites!I asked him what colour is "Gankseal" shape etc to try and understand what he was trying to say(in case he was mispronouncing a different)"Gankseal is red mummy,you're silly mummy!".This is from when he was only 2! He also makes strange noises like he is startled alot and even in his sleep(Tourettes typical throat noises)I had tics when I was younger.He is still pretty young so I am waiting to see if he grows out of it before I get really concerned.It would be great to hear from any other bloggers who can relate to my post.Thankyou for taking the time to read this!
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm an introvert and my son probably doesn't talk that much, but I'm very sensitive to too much sound, so it's a lot to me. A friend suggested he write in a journal, so he can express all that he wants to uncensored, and not always for my ears to hear. Of course, he is at an age where he can write, so probably only good for older kids.
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I have an eleven year old boy and he is always been like this.   He is a little more mellow now but still pretty much the same.  I was in a room with the door closed and he was in the rec room with the door closed watching 'get smart' his mouth was running non stop that I had to correct him a i could t help but feel sorry for his older sister trying to watch it also.  I am constantly reminding him of his place in conversation he is especially chatting  and interested in adult time and conversation with my friends.   I am not an expert but this is my take.  I think he feels like he is not validated   His sister and da have always talked for him or interrupted him as a child.  I have seen how he acts and sometimes I call it showboat show off behavoir only he is being annoying and obnoxious to others.  I feel it's a defensive behavior as he was picked on Alot and didn't have a great friend like he always wanted.   I have had to teach him about boundaries physical and verbal.  Now I can give him a 'look' that says change what your saying or stop talking.  Before I would quickly give him looks and he would keep on behaving I would get so frustrated as if he was pushing it or disobeying.  Now I linger eye contact until he registers and stops himself.  It is working.  
I remember him telling me how much he loved kindergarten but then school changed and he said ' I didn't get why we had to be serious all of a sudden'.  ADHD is thrown around these day to so many.  I can't believe that 40% of kids are getting these diagnosis and yet can't it just be a kid personality or character these days.  My kids is ring taught so differently from my young years.  I never could have a say in what to eat, do , watch  or go out with.  Today so many families are including their kids in everything.  To me this is normal behaviour and instead of constantly diagnosing and creating more fear and anxiety.  Let's just work with what we have and do what we can to help teach the best way we can.  I have said shut up be quiet go away- I hate myself for that but I still have a boy who loves me.  I say sorry and have explained and he gets it.  He says sorry when he does or says things. I think you asking a panel of people for advice shows what a great mom you are.
Ps
I have given my guy omegas,passion flower tincture, sisu multivitamin.  I know instantly if he hasn't taken these for two days.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Its amazing to see how many parents feel or have been told by the teacher that their child's talkativeness is a problem. I have a six and half year old girl who is in 1st grade and can talk for hours. She has always been that way. If I had to describe her personality - outgoing, friendly, and a very happy child. She talks with a constant smile on her face (I don't know how she does that). She is a very sensitive kid. She gets tears in her eyes at the drop of the hat. Is the subject  sometimes random? Sure. But then she is just six years old! And I have noticed that that usually happens when she has run out of subjects but feels you want to hear her more. Sometimes she has come out with the most intelligent answer that even an adult would not come up with. I never felt that her talkativeness is a problem until I was told otherwise by her 1st grade teacher. Her teacher constantly sends me note saying she talks during quiet time, distract other kids by talking to them, is fidgety during circle time. Academically she is doing well specially in math. In first grade she is doing grade 3 math and reading at a level of 15-16 (which is the expected reading level at the end of the school year) and she has been reading at that level since the middle of the school year.  A kid that is doing that certainly does not have ADHD!!! The area where she lacks is writing but then that's the only area where WE have not concentrated much at home. Our whole attention was on Math cause she has shown so much interest in it. According to her teacher she lacks focus because she goes off the subject in the middle but comes back to the topic later saying something like "Anyways, bah blah blah". Huh? I am trying to figure out how to tell her to control her thoughts and I absolutely HATE that. I don't want her to shut down completely. Like someone said earlier I might try putting her in a school for gifted. I don't understand why Public school system wants to mold every kid in a same way. Every child is different and has different potential. We live in a very different day and age. At the age of 2 both my kids knew how to unlock the iPhone and go the third screen and open "Kids" folder and open an application. At that age they didn't even recognize the alphabets!!! Over talkative kid is not a problem it just means he/she has a lot on the mind and wants to express. Let them. If they are doing well academically I wouldn't worry about it.
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Avatar_m_tn
Aww, stevenh008! She gives you so many hugs and kisses because she loves you and nothing else. My daughter does that too. Remember there will be a phase when she won't and you would do anything to have that back. She has a emotional side and she is not ashamed to show that. Its part of hermulti-faceted personality. Cherish it!
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Avatar_f_tn
Omg you guys are really going through the everyday things I go through with my 6yr. Old son. He talks and talks and I to have to finally say SHUT UP PLEASE.. Its just so nerve racking. Its been a problem in school this whole school.. He is getting sad faces or straight face everyday because of talking and not following directions. My boyfriend says I need to discipline him sad thing is I've done everything.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have the same situation, but with all 3 of my girls aged six, seven, and eight.  I feel so horrible because I can't time 1 minute of silence while we are together.  From the minute they wake up til after they are supposed to be asleep.  They talk over eachother and I get so frustrated.  At school, all 3 have issues with talking.  They get punished when they are asked to be quiet multiple times, I give my children attention, but they just never stop.  One of them is so loud, another always has attitude, and the third just doesn't stop with the questions, permissions, validations, random statements.  How do people handle this effectively? I need help
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Avatar_f_tn
I have the same situation, but with all 3 of my girls aged six, seven, and eight.  I feel so horrible because I can't time 1 minute of silence while we are together.  From the minute they wake up til after they are supposed to be asleep.  They talk over eachother and I get so frustrated.  At school, all 3 have issues with talking.  They get punished when they are asked to be quiet multiple times, I give my children attention, but they just never stop.  One of them is so loud, another always has attitude, and the third just doesn't stop with the questions, permissions, validations, random statements.  How do people handle this effectively? I need help
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Avatar_m_tn
Seriously, we're not talking about normal chatty kids here. By constant talking, we mean CONSTANT TALKING--no break of any kind, ever, ever, ever. And the topics: why my eyebrows went up five minutes ago, why was my voice a teeny bit louder on that one word in the sentence, why the car in the book is blue (a half hour or more on just one of these topics if I let him). And ONLY topics like this. And really, really loud all of the time--not some of the time. I used to be a nanny for 5 kids under five years old. I used to be a daycare teacher for toddlers. These were a piece of cake, in retrospect and I only have one child. You would have to walk a mile in our moccasins without earplugs to really get it.
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Avatar_m_tn
I ALSO have a 5yr old whom has been talking since she was a year old!! and w/ each MONTH she talks more and more. I do not think she has ADD but she IS very hyper.. like she got into the candy bowl! She is ALSO kind of bossy towards other kids. From the moment she opens her eyes, shes ready to go. talk, talk, talk, talk, ..... all day long, thru the night too! (she talks in her sleep). My daughter is VERY smart and if we dont CONSTANTLY keep  her busy w/ work books, cards, puzzles, etc then she gets out of control, she lashes out that no one plays w/ her (mind you we would hve just spent 3 hrs playing barbies). She loves to learn n asks LOTS of questions. Sometimes it feels like she needs to be the center of attention, she talks OVER everyone, every time. She EXTREMELY affectionate and it can be over whelming at times. I LOVE MY BABY GIRL..., but I also find myself yelling shut up or OK THATS ENOUGH ALREADY!! I feel like a monster EVERYTIME but I dont what else to do at this point. I've searched the web over n over. I've tried it all. We are very active to. We go to parks, playgrounds, shopping, etc. We do take away fun things when the "back talk" starts. The "I hate you's, your not fair's" and so on. I swear she could put the energizer bunny out of a job!! lol
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Avatar_m_tn
I am right now watching a Charlie Rose episode and they mentioned kids who are excessively talkative or social.  They said it was called Williams disorder.
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Avatar_m_tn
I am in the same boat as most of you. My 5 year old girl talks and talks and is always making some verbal noise all the time. Very loud all the time. Always telling her to keep it down again and again. Her dad and I find it hard to converse as she is always interupting and even when I am on the phone etc. Doesn't seem to be aware of social situations to be quiet or even just quieter. On top of this she is extremely hyper. It would be fine for a few hours but day in and day out and all the time. There is no free space for my mind to just think outside of hearing her voice. She is running and jumping up and down all the time.I love her very much, but I long for even a moment of silence and no constant movement for a few moments. I agree totally with the poster that suggested putting earphones in. This is something I also do. I put it on lower so I can still be a part of what is going on, but loud enough to feel I have a bit of my own world going on too. I listen to something that is soothing to me or feel good music that makes me smile. It doesn't help with her talking so much as it helps me feel happier and not so resentful. It seems to change the way I view her even and helps get through the days.
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My four year old hasn't sat still or stopped talking since he was born. He talks more than he breaths and about anything and everything. It is driving me nuts and I cry all the time because I can't get a moment of peace. I feel like I am ready for a nervous break down every day. I am finding my self telling him to 'Shut Up' all the time and I don't want to be that Mother. Unfortunately, my husband is just as bad. I didn't know he was like that until we had our son and they both never stop and talk at the same time! I havent watched tv for years because I cant hear it. I appreciate all the comments because it makes me think maybe they hace Adhd? I am so tired of being depressed that I actually filed for a divorce just so I can have some weekends of peace. :(
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So glad I found all of you.  My 6 yr old daughter is like most of yours.  Non stop talking is an understatement.  I go into a sensory overload to the point I can't comprehend what she says.  It's overwhelming.  I also have a completely non verbal 9 yr old so I know what a privilege it is to have a child speak.  I will tell you it's heartbreaking to tell my daughter to shut up but it flies out.  It's such an auditory imbalance.

So what to do.  I monitor my childs diet.  We role play.  I'm teaching her how to play the violin, she plays soccer, loves yoga.  When I tell her to do something I will not listen to her at all until she does what she is told.  It helps her to focus and get things over and done with.  And of course when she's done I give her my complete attention.
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Avatar_m_tn
hi, thank you so much for your comments, it has given me hope and i will by seeking advice along these lines, i am very anti medication (although some times on a short time get very tempted) as on the grand scale of things am aware that as the body gets used to stronger dose's will be required and what happens when it becomes ineffective altogether, what chemicals will we be pumping into our children and at what cost, so thank you again, your post has given me hope and a lot of food for thought
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow! My daughter is 4, I've been googling and googling. Everything from ADD/ADHD, Giftedness, Autism Spectrum disorders, impairments in social skills... But none seem to fit the bill. My daughter is extremely bright but can talk the hind leg off a mule. A stranger knows her life story in minutes. She has made for many funny Facebook statuses but now she has shown difficulty in preschool, playgroup and kindergarten settings. I have no practical advice. I am and Early Childhood Educator and still have no idea what I can do that I haven't already done. I will be getting a referral to a child psychologist from my family physician and hopefully they can give me an idea as to what I can do to help her in school, and make friends. She is also bossy and extremely outgoing. Sometimes I blame it on her being a Virgo :P
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Avatar_m_tn
You people who drug your kids are morons.  OF COURSE they are well-behaved,  because you have drugged them!  Everyone is so happy now.  MY what a good parent you are!  Idiots!  If the clay cannot be formed in the fashion that you would like, then drug the clay until it is the perfect texture that YOU can work with, and TOLERATE.  Drugging is done for the adults, not the child.  Hope you are all happy with you powerful parenting "skill" compliments of chemistry!
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Avatar_f_tn
You have described my life to a perfect "T". I mostly go to parks that have minimal children because he asks EVERYONE to come to our house. He has some neighbor friends that he has litteraly become obsessed with. They told him today that they needed a break from him...  I'm dreading school in August because i already know he'll be the kid who never shuts his trap. Hes an incredibly inteligent kid, and hes sweet as pie, I have just accepted the fact that he is who he is, and i have no doubts that school will give him an unexpected boot into reality. All this talk if ADHD in my opinion is an assanine ploy by pharmeseutical companies (who kick down to the doctors to push, push, push meds) to sedate kids for just being kids. We as parents need to stop overthinking our kids and just accept that they are growing up in an obtrusively overstimulating world. Ditch the tv's get these kids outside and teach them to live life on lifes terms. Keep on keeping on, and good luck to you! We all need some of that sometimes. :)
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I just found this thread and feel so relieved that I am not the only one that feels this way about thier child I have a 5 and 1/2 year old that will not stop talking... It is mentally exhausting she fldoesnt know how to entertain herself and needs constant stimulation from other people... I have an appointment with a child psychologist on Friday and hopefully we can figure out a way to keep her busy and calm her down... Her school work isn't bad her teachers say she is extemely intelligent however she can't stop talking to other children ... Anyways I feel relieved that I am not the only parent that at times just wants to shut thier child up for a second!, and for that I thank all of you for sharing!!
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My daughter needs to know what is going on every minute.  I used to cater to her because she bounced around on a pretty irregular schedule after the divorce, but now it is driving me nuts.  "where do i go when i wake up?" "what do I do after that?" "can I have a candy? Oh well how about a yogurt then? Can I have an ice cream instead? What are we having for dinner? I don't want that and I won't eat it? Can I have noodles instead?" I love her to death, she is soooo smart, she is caring, and does not stop talking ever.  

Every day of my life, I say "interrupting is rude, now you have to wait longer to talk."  Then she waits ten seconds tops and interrupts again. Time outs and discussion have done nothing to stop her interrupting and constant chatter. I thought maybe I wasn't giving her enough quality time and tried changing the routine to include a 15 or twenty minute conversation about school/daycare/whatever just to let her get it out . . . Yep that didn't work either.

If I ask questions she gives me the litany of complaints for the day, and I have to sort through 6 hours of chatter to find out what she liked about school today.  I don't tell her to shut up but I do say "Stop asking for things and entertain yourself for a while" and point at the clock to show her what time she can talk again.  Sometimes I get curt and cut off the incessant "can I have . . ?" questioning with "You may have a fruit or vegetable or yogurt out of the fridge if you can get it your self." If it gets to the point where my head hurts from it (almost daily at this point) I just say "My ears turned off. Go to your room and play, I need a time out so I can hear what you are saying again."

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Avatar_m_tn
Wow! Some of these hit so close to home!! I have a 7 y/o daughter who struggles to stay quiet.  I am so glad to hear my concerns are not alone.  I don't usually write on these things, but my heart breaks to hear some parents state that they "would never" put their children on meds.  While my circumstance has not come to it... I'm not opposed either.  To those with such strong opinions about drugs, I do have to ask... "if your child had diabetes or cancer would you not gladly take something to make it all better?"  As parents we are to want only the best for our kids.  If a med would change your childs happiness (cause come on, they know that they annoy us)... wouldn't you help them by accepting the "medicated" help.  I just think its so sad to hear some people stand up againist meds... you may be standing up againist your childs future.  Just some food for thought!!!  

I wish you all the best of luck... I know I need some too!!
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YES! I have the same child, in my extreme frustration I have yelled shut up and can feel my blood boiling. She is 5 and I just had another child who is 2 months old now. I was working before and now I'm home with the baby, I called my husband at work so upest thinking I was the only one who was annoyed by my own child. Even when I talk to her about the difference of having a conversation and just talking to be talking she still dosent stop or seem to get it. I don't think it's ADHD or add beCause she is "shy". And I've talked to her teacher about her behavior at home and it's not translated to her school life. She understands that the way she talks constantly is socially unacceptable but continues to talk my ear off at home. I feel guilty for sending her to play by herself but I honestly can't take it. I'm glad to have read this and know I'm not the only one, makes me feel less crazy!
If I figure out how to deal with this I will repost, for now perhaps some really good ear plugs or headphones haha
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Avatar_f_tn
That's exactly it, I might be able to tolerate the constant taking if any of it had relevance to SOMETHING...ANYTHING, but my daughter goes off on a tangent of blabbering about EVERYTHING that pops in her head as its happening.
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My suggestion is to learn to tune out a  bit.  Let her ramble on with an occasional uh huh and hm, interesting.  I am guessing you are a little overtired with the new baby and have less tolerance for her or patience.  She'll be off to kindergarten next school year ----  does she go to preschool now?  Maybe have a friend of hers over so that she is talking to her friend and playing rather than talking to you so that you get some breaks during the day.  good luck
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Lol. This sounds like my little 7yr old daughter! She turned 7 in December. And she never shuts up even when asleep!! Lol. We now have a huge huge art box and loads of fossil and sea books which she loves. These are for when I need some me brain time lol. Also when star gets over excited when talking we do breathing calming exercises then talk slowly and think before we talk. I also find loads of walks are great for her over active mind and we talk about what we see then have mad half hours of puddle jumping or running around. Well I found these things work for us and our super bright girl. Also we visit lots of free museums and save for aquarium visits
As she decided when she was 5 that she wants to be a marine biologist lol
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Avatar_m_tn
I wanted to post this website for the “The Listening Center”.  I had come across this not too long ago when trying to find alternatives to medicines.
http://www.tlcknoxville.com/sound.php  
It referred to what you were discussing about Sensory Integration Disorder (OT).  I have not personally tried it.  I am still gathering information.
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Avatar_m_tn
A few ideas:

1.  Get Skype and have a set of friends that your kiddo can chat with.  Possibly even with other kids that have the same talking bug.  

2.  Put a limit on the number of questions you will answer in a certain period of time--that way they will have to decide which of their questions are most important.  

3.  Use a bell or a whistle to "grab" their attention when you need them to stop talking.  Use something other than words because if they are constantly talking they aren't "tuned in" or even  remotely listening to your verbal requests that they stop talking.

4.  Have them go in the bathroom and turn on the fan and sink and talk as much as they want--hopefully the background noise will help drown out the talking when you are in the other room.

5.  Instead of getting louder/trying to talk over them, whisper so they have to listen.  

Good luck!
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Its was such a relief to come across this post I am a 27 year old mother to a beautiful intelligent 7 year old little girl. I have been told by her teacher at parents evening that she is a year ahead in her in english and two years ahead in her maths. I don't have any concerns regarding ADHD but her excessive talking is driving me crazy and I feel as though I cant cope.

I often dread having to pick her up after work as I know I'm going to be bombarded with questions. She just constantly talks I feel like a bad mum because at times I have also told her to shut up but even family members have commented on her constant talking. When I try to explain how I feel to people I'm told its because shes very bright but I feel people don't really understand what I go through its very draining especially being a single parent. I am a only child so I do like my own space at times but I don't think it has much to do with that if I'm honest. As someone previously mentioned I also find myself avoiding taking her places because of her talking. I feel like such a bad mum I find it hard to enjoy being a parent at times because it just constant talking about random subjects.

I need some help from someone who understands what I'm going through I love my daughter to bits but I'm finding motherhood hard.
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My 8 yr old step daughter is like this and talks CONSTANTLY. ITS SO ANNOYING!
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I have an amazing 8 year old that also talks a lot and explains everything a lot, but you have to remember that yelling or telling them to shut up is not helping their self esteem my son tries to duct tape his mouth shut and has asked me to sew his lips together all because people get so frustrated with his talking so much at school or on the bus. He gets embarrassed and has started disliking himself and becoming self conscience. So think about what YOU are SAYING because if you can not control YOUR MOUTH how can you ask or teach them too? It would be like yelling 'USE YOUR EYES IDIOT" To a blind person. They can not help it... it is an impulse that children and even many adults don't have the ability to cope with and control. I am not saying you're a bad person for slipping up, but you are if you continue doing it. Be better and help them feel loved for who they are.... and talking is a BIG part of who they are because they are sharing everything with you and laying their mind on the table and you are shutting them down cruelly. How do you feel when you are told to shut up? rejected, angry, unloved, pushed away, offended, defensive.. etc keep it up and you'll have a child that grows to hate themselves and/or you.  Why not try letting them wear headphones and play appropriate music or audio books? Having talking contests to see who can talk the fastest... who can say hard things 5 times in a row... Try educational games on the computer... Try anything but lashing out at a kid who doesn't even see anything wrong with just wanting to talk and share their heart and mind. I am honestly not trying to beat you down if you have snapped before, but like I told my ex husband the first time he hit me and said he was sorry and knew how wrong it was... when he kept doing it I told him if you know its wrong and feel bad, but keep doing it you are being cruel and truly showing me my worth to you. Your kid will see it the same way... Don't be cruel be supportive. You know treat others the way you want to be treated. Don't be too prideful to go see a counselor yourself to help you with better handling yourself when your child frequently frustrates you... you should be willing to do anything to help your child. Including not being too prideful to talk to a doctor about your childs excessive need to speak. Sometimes a good play therapy session can really help them understand why everyone is always so frustrated and bothered by them. Try to put yourself in their shoes. :)
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Great discussions.  I love all you moms who share!  Wish we could all get our  kids together.   Helps to hear that others are going insane with the constant chatter.  My 9 year old child has no filter, too.   Everything in her head comes out of her lips.  Like all of you,I give her plenty of  quality attention but she is insatiable.  She benefits from educational and physical stimulation, arranged  fun and structured playdates, art camp, piano lessons, library time, tennis, track and on and on.   She is not spoiled.  I insist on good manners, kindness, helping others, routines, organization, cleanliness.....all the skills to promote a healthy well being child and develop a productive adult.   But she is driving me crazy with her non stop chatter and questioning about every little stinking non-essential thing.   I would love it If we could have an educational or meaningful discussion.  She's not there yet.  My sanity solution is to keep providing her with educational stimulation.  Hoping she will engage her talking passion into something worth talking about.  When my brain starts dripping down my neck and my ears burnout I excuse myself and go do a 10 min chore (might be to wipe a counter, dust, straighten a drawer, clean up a shelf, fold clothes... Something mindless but yet helps me to feel organizationally accomplished).  And yep,  you guessed it.. She follows me and continues her  "story".   I have to be psychologically 10 steps ahead of her and know what rehearsed expressions to say when she starts talking.   Since she will not stop talking nonstop until her brain matures, I need to redirect her behavior and/or change mine.    Sometimes I hold my hands over my ears.   I tell her I love her and enjoy her thoughts but need quiet.  Even though she has the ability to reason and know nonstop talking is annoying, she thinks what she is saying is so earth shattering important and interesting.   To those of you that say we should love our kids and this behavior is typically the way kids are, then I would say you don't live with a chatterbox.  We do love our kids ohhhh so very, very, very much.   She is my world and in my heart and on my mind always.  We just want to enjoy peaceful coexistence.  We each have to find what works best in our families but it absolutely helped to know that we are not alone.  This support talk in itself was the best help ever to me.  Thank you, All!
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my son is 10 and also have the same problem.i've already asked his pediatrician if he's with adhd but she thinks he doesn't have it but still i find him very talkative.about him being the only child, does it really influenced him to be that talkative?we don't know what to do as well.when we travel, he talks from the moment he hops in till we get to our destination non stop.
random weird question and everything he sees comes with a question.when he was younger, he sounded smart but now he's grown up, i find it not cute anymore.i would also yell at him just to quiet him. i dont want to treat him any medication but i don't know also how to act on this situation. hope someone can help me. thanks.
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Hi there.  Wow, this does seem to be a common thing parents talk about, huh?  

I'm wondering if looking at it as something to 'manage' rather than as an issue would be a good approach.

What I mean by that is that being talkative isn't necessarily a bad thing.  These kids sound gregarious and full of life.  However, we all need to learn to read the body language of others and respect their feelings.  Sometimes we just need a bit of peace and quiet.  Sometimes an adult stranger (as in when you travel) does not feel like having lengthy conversations with a child.  Teaching boundaries may help kids be more 'socially acceptable' in this area.  

Perhaps you can help your child with reading body language and facial expressions better.  When people look away, cross their arms, etc. they are telling you they are ready for the dialogue to either stop or to become a conversation instead.

Occupational therapists often teach conversation skills to kids that they don't naturally come to.  There is often a two sentence rule instituted.  A child may say two things and then must ask a question.  They wait for the answer to the question before they talk more.  This is how you have an actual conversation with someone verses just talking AT them.  Some kids simply do not pick up natural conversation skills so you teach them.  And they learn to adhere to it through self control.

I also would have a cue that YOU use to let them know when it is time to give peace and quiet to you or to another adult they are talking to.  Tell them that adults and even kids sometimes need quiet time.  To just not have to listen to someone speak and that we all have to respect that.  Make a rule about it.  Sometimes a child is asked to do something other than non stop talking.  And they have to do that.  

The issue sometimes with only children is parents feel guilty that they don't have another child in the home to talk to instead of them.  Don't feel guilty.  We all have to learn to entertain ourselves and that to be socially acceptable, we don't just talk non stop.

good luck
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You posted this in 08 my grandchild was just born and today, I am at my wits end with the non stop talking.  My daughter told me it was a problem, she said her kindergardener was given a referral in school.  She looses her temper and yells and I thought, well I'm older more patient and can certainly deal with a young talkative child.  She is not an only child, she talks over her sibling to the point that he yells.  It is a constant battle and I who thought I could handle it, finally found myself yelling just to keep the peace.  CUE's do not work.  She stops long enough to acknowledge, breath and onward she goes.  This is NOT an only child syndrome.  My child was an only child and I never ever had this problem.  I never had a teacher or sitter ask me to come get her.  I don't know what this is.  She is bright enough to mind every ones conversations but is not advancing in school.  So please tell me that your child has tapered down and that you are a happier person, otherwise my duaghter and I might become wine O's.  
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I feel as though no one ever reads posts on this and just comes here to complain.  if you are looking for some suggestions, please read some of the posts.  If you are looking to vent.  Have at it but it doesn't really solve the issue that you are dealing with.  There is some information contained in this thread meant to help and it is discouraging that it is one time posts of complaint rather than anyone really trying to help the child in question improve their social skills.  luck to all
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My niece is 12 and has been an talking excessively since she was 2.  The cousins and other relatives cringe when she is coming over because she is LOUD and won't let anyone have a conversation with another person.  She spent the past few days with us.  There were 4 adults, 1 teenager and her little sister who is 8.  Everyone was fed up with her nonstop butting in and always having to put her two cents in.  She did not get the social cues and subtle hints that we wanted to talk to someone other than her and she got very dramatic with crying and running into the bathroom for attention.  It ruined the entire weekend and was very embarassing in front of our company.  We counted down the seconds until she left.  I am writing this because her parents are in complete denial that this child needs help.  She has no friends at school and is slowly alienating herself from the family.  How can we tell her parents that this behavior is becoming a serious problem without hurting feelings? I do not want to be around her anymore.
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Hi.  You really can't say anything to her parents because it doesn't come from a place of concern but from a place of irritation.  They'll become defensive because of what you feel in your heart.  They'll come out of their denial when their daughter is hurting enough to say that they need to help her with her social skills.  

Family is one of those 'safe places' for kids with quirks.  But it doesn't always work out that way.  

Hopefully she will figure out social nuances and be able to mix and mingle in the near future.  I always feel bad for kids like that that everyone (including their aunt) just finds them annoying.  good luck to all
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I read your story and it was as if you were speaking about my 8 year old daughter. She is always chattering, interrupting, talking over others and getting mad when no one listens. I get to the point daily when I need quiet time from her, because she just talks so much. But since she was the age of 2 her pediatrician said she has a lack of impulse control not ADHD, we even had her tested later. She just cant control her talking, or need to talk. Although she does excellent in school, top of her class in all areas. Home is her weak spot. Therapy seems to help her understand where/what  she needs to work on. Since the advise isn't coming from me she seems to go with it a whole lot easier too.
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Please consider talking to a Pediatric Neurologist regarding OCD. We were told by our son's first grade teacher that he may have Autism because he talked all the time and is very intelligent which was not at all the case. You can Google "OCD and excessive talking". You will probably be as surprised as we were. Good luck to all if you. We feel your pain. Prayers!
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Thank God I found someone who posted something containing more than just pessimistic commiseration!  I refuse to feel sorry for myself or my daughter, obviously we are not unique...

Reading post after post of nothing but complaints by frustrated parents of kids who won't stop talking had me feeling hopeless for a minute there.  I wasn't finding any positive suggestions or helpful things to try and I started thinking, wow this is a common problem with no solution...none of these posts come with a silver lining more less a happy ending.

I will try applying the same techniques you are using with your son.  I'm willing to give anything a shot at this point, within reason.  I think that ADD is an over used diagnosis.  I think true cases exist but not commonly.  I'd have to wake up with my kid standing over my bed with a knife before I'd consider medication.  My 1st grader won't stop talking in class and it's escalated into an issue much bigger than I ever imagined it would.  It started in Kinder, it goes on at home til she's on my last nerve, and now that she's getting older it's a serious problem.  She's super smart.  They put her in a 1st-2nd combo class and I was so proud, but here we are only two weeks into the school year and she's been disciplined four times in writing - which I have been asked to sign and return to the teacher.  I attribute it to poor impulse control and problems with delayed satisfaction, or at least from what I've come up with in my lay-mom's research... The things I've tried are the norm I guess and they don't seem to work for any of us according to what I've just read here... But I'm grateful to have come across your particular story because you've offered a fresh take on approaching this discouraging predicament.  I'll try almost anything.  

Thank you so much for sharing.  I've got some things I can at least try, and that is encouraging.
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I have the same problem here.  My youngest daughter (12) doesn't stop talking.  She HAS to say the last words, w/me, sister, and dad.  Tonight was i was turning off her fan.  "It's too chilly tonight (NH). but i need it on, im hot.  no fan.  over and over, she's too hot, and this is why.......i need fan to breathe, i don't like covers, i get hot during the night, my room is stuffy, over and over.  then i go to take the fan out and she says it drowns out sounds to her, so i give in and let her keep her fan but not facing towards her.  and then it starts all over again and saying let me talk, my turn, for another 8 minutes.  finally she either has the fan turned or NO fan.  i go out of room and not even 5 minutes later she's telling me that she needs the fan to be facing her because her cat has fur and the cat likes the fan on her cuz she gets hot.   I finally had to tell her NO very harshly.
I have need to remember to use short words (YES/NO) only.  If i tell why, how, what or when about something she goes on and on until i get mad.

She was dx w/ ADHD/OCD/Aspergers and epilepsy( resolved).  She has been recently moved to a new school for Alternative Ed (w/in same school district).  Last school took me 3 years to get her out of.  over 40 demerits in less than 2yrs for things like excessive talking, talking out of turn, hugging friends, going to the bathroom.  Finally went above principle's head right to superintendent and school board.  She is thriving in the new school, has her 1st boyfriend and a new best friend.  (been 2 weeks).
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I just want to say thank you to you all. I have been feeling so frustrated and crazy trying to keep up with constant questions from my almost 4 year old daughter and her constant need for feedback and response for everything she says.  "Right? RIGHT Mommy??"  And when I try to talk about this with friends I feel like I'm met with silence and stares, because she's sweet and bright and wonderful and when she's around others she doesn't talk nearly as much.  She talks some, but she does a lot of observing. She takes it all in and saves her questions for later.  At home, in the car, it's incessant and I just don't feel like I have the mental stamina sometimes to handle it appropriately.  I haven't given much consideration to this being a sign of ADHD, even though I was diagnosed myself a few years ago in my 30s.  I guess it is something to watch for.  But just knowing that there are others out there who struggle to keep up the constant conversation and maintain composure and respond appropriately helps a lot.  I'll think of you guys tomorrow when my rope is about to run out, and I think it will help me keep my cool.
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Have a 12 year old nearly 13 yr old with same thing - best tip I found is to divert her - ask a question (be prepared for a lengthy answer) then say "quiet time now sweet" and grab 5 - use the bathroom if you need to. My daughter was discharged for a child develop unit when she was 7 with label ADHD - I wouldn't even let them write it down on paper as I don't believe in labels. Trust me I get your FRUSTRATION but if you do not het some tips now it is a very long road. She also talks to herself in public constantly and I have to remind her that she is at an age now that other children may think she is "strange" so she is gradually learning tools to use herself now. Good luck, only run with a label if you think it fits - trust your instincts.
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I will try therapy for my 9 year old.I think thats my only way out of constant complaints from school and friends about the non stop talking. I feel exhausted listening to same complaints since the past 5 years. His grades are getting affected because of the excessive talking. He does not complete his lunch because he is too busy socializing.
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Thanks to all of you , it's been a useful therapy for me reading all these posts. It's also helped me come to a conclusion about my own child .
My nearly 8 yr old girl has been having problems with incessant talking and discipline in the classroom. Its disruptive to other children.It's also for the first time ever a personality clash with her teacher which has been blown out of proportion.
She's a very friendly sociable child who is very active and loves company.
I've asked her and her reply was I like to hear myself talk and I have no-one to talk to my age at home.
So rather than looking on it as a problem that needs medicating, I need to address the cause that I have a lonely little girl who is not socialising enough with her peers but more with adults and not getting the interactivity she needs with other children. She is at school, but school is a structured environment where she is supposed to conform to recognised behaviour and actual socialising is restricted to lunchtime and breaks. if she goes to afterschool activites again they are structured environments rather than just social play .Or it's home to parents who are stressed and frazzeled too busy cooking, cleaning etc no time to listen,and they learn to manage their loneliness themselves, by talking to themselves . Its a vicious circle .
I am going to try role play at home and try to schedule more play dates where she is not again listening to an adult but just being  herself with a friend. Maybe then she'll learn more from socialising with her peers.
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I'd just like to share an event that happened with my sociable girl when she was 5
We were getting ready to leave the house and she was rambling nonstop.
Question after question when I'm trying to remember packed lunch,keys,phone,etc ..
Normally I tune out and get on with it but not this day we were running late.
Eventually I snapped and said shut up and let mummy think .
5 secs later - OK mummy I'll shut up, how long did you want me to shut up for 100 minutes ,25 hours (she doesn't get times  ), will you tell me when can I talk again,are you angry with my mummy .... and so off she went again.
I honestly had to go to the bathroom for my own time out because I was so stressed I was in tears but it was so typical of Miss Chatterbox I had to laugh it was so funny , a moment to remember and treasure .
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Thank goodness for these stories! I'm so relieved, felt a bit nutso with the ever-chatty child - wondered if a terrible parent, depriving him of something that made him talk a lot. But I'm not alone...  

Here's my 10 cents -  ideas about the chatting:
1) LIMITS - Though at times I thought it's easier to just let it go, not bother stopping him, I thought this encourages him to talk more. To a point kids needto 'manage' their behaviour, and it will help in situations later in life where they can't talk all the time. I've started setting a few limits rather than just get annoyed. Eg. consistently ask him to be quiet while I make  meals; not interrupt conversations until there's a gap; and be quiet in the car for a few mins so I can concentrate on driving. It seems a little better. Also to ask in a calm, friendly manner, as if they're helping you, cause the 'shut up' thing he seemed to tune out. It's working so far. (If he didn't listen, I might use Time Out or delay the computer time.)

2) TIME OFF - As a single parent theres an extra burden of no one to pass your child onto for a break. So we now have 'rest time', when I'm frazzled no peace, he will play quietly in his room for up to 1 hour, while I have the rest! I do this rather than just use the TV or computer as a babysitter. I tell him honestly - mummy's tired and I need some quiet time or a rest. He seems to understand this. If he interrupts without good reason, I may add 5 minutes to the rest time.

3) LOVE LANGUAGES - Some of you probably looked into Love Languages of your child. I found it very helpful to understand why he constantly asked for hugs when watching TV and said 'I want you to spend more time with me'. (I mean I can only do so much!) But his LL was Affection and Quality Time, he needs more than I do. So a daily activity/ chat together and hugs seem to work. (Within limits, I can't play for hours or every game.)

4) ANXIETY - not sure whether part of the chat is just their way to connect and express himself, or fill an emotional gap, is it insecurity? Or maybe just process things verbally.  Others might have some thoughts...

Finally I don't want 'being chatty' to be an excuse not to pull him into line occasionally, or it gets annoying. I him to know he can use self-control when needed.
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Some of these kids need attention and a way to vent, express themselves, use up their energy.  Every time I have witnessed a kid following mom with nonstop chatter...it has been when mom is physically in the room but mentally disconnected (such as texting, on the internet, chatting on phone). One mom mentioned the child plays alone for hours at a time. There's a good reason to want to talk to another person nonstop...because if they stop, they may lose you again. Who wants to play alone? Also, kids in schools...not the way it was decades ago. Now, they have taken away physical education in many schools, and recess is at most 15-30 minutes and not every day. They are expected to sit, work, sit some more, no talking, and then go home and have mom continue with homework until dinner/bedtime. So much more pressure on kids nowadays and not much play/talk/burn energy time. Let's do less labeling, and more observing. Drop all gadgets, enjoy your kids...get out and burn energy together :)
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I have the same problem with my 4yr old, it also started when he was two.  His constant talking at the pitch of his voice actually triggers migraines for some people, including my husband and myself.  It is disrupting his entire preschool class to the point that his teachers can't even read a story to the class.  ADD & ADHD and more run in both sides of our family, so Im familiar with most of the signs.  He also shows signs of a neurological disease called CMT that is in our family, though there should be relatively no cognitive issues from that disease.  He also has GI issues, which we've addressed up to the point of considering a colonoscopy.  B/C of his age, we are holding off on that for now.  My oldest son had similar issues, but he was more physically hyper than verbally.

What I know that can help are the following:
• make sure there is not a pathological reason causing the behavior first.  If it isn't from a health problem, than address the psychological concerns...but don't assume ADHD from the start.
• consider external stressors, i.e. family fighting, moving, ill family members, etc.
• consistent discipline is very important.
• positive forms of discipline, i.e. sticker charts & rewards work best, threats and punishments often cause more stress and anxiety in a hyperactive child, which causes worse behavior and the 'lesson' is not learned.
• stick with a diet high in vegetables & low in sugar, google 'ADHD Diets' for a more specific explanation.
• avoid Vit B supplements, they can  worsen ADHD symptoms and be aware of the foods high in the B vitamins.
• sign the child up for physical activities and sports, my oldest (8yrs) is in karate and the youngest (4yrs) attends when he is behaving well, but gymnastics has been the best for my youngest.
• set aside a time of day to give the child attention, coloring puzzles games etc...we usually follow with a story and nap time.
• when it comes to tv, allow only educational things...then as an award for good behavior maybe something like Power Rangers (sparingly).
• Baby Einstein, Baby First, Little Einsteins, Blues Clues, Diego, Dora...are all good choices for educational tv.
• We had to avoid Little Bill and Jonny Test and Timmy Turner with our kids.  Little Bill only made the hyperactivity worsen, and the other two encourage lying to your parents, etc.
• We use a lot of lavender, someone mentioned magnesium which is good (careful when dosing a child), theres a Sleepy Time tea for children that is usually carried by health food stores.  Tea tree and menthol products sooth my youngest, but Im not familiar with the science behind that.  
• Binaural Beats helped my oldest A LOT!  We targeted Delta Waves for him, google or search youtube for 'Great Expanse Delta' for an example, must wear headphones.
• I am against using medication for treatment.  I learned to deal with ADD as a child.  It takes effort but is worth having the self control and ability to manage in sociery without drugs.  I started taking medication for ADD only b/c of a severe head injury when I was an adult.  I hate it.  I would suggest behavioral therapy first, if anything.
• consider having their ears and hearing checked.  We did this with my youngest and he was fine, but he has hard ear wax that doesn't drain well and I have to flush them out B/C the wax builds up and forms natural ear plugs.
• consider teaching your child foreign languages.  If they enjoy speaking a lot, use that to an advantage.  Children can pick up a language and correct accent easily before the age of 8yrs.  There are many DVDs or just switch the language on the tv for a show they watch a lot.
• with my youngest, we will only answer his question if he asks once.  Usually he'll ask the same thing over and over without a break until you answer.  So we make him ask once and pause if he wants an answer, otherwise we ask him how many times he asked that question and when he holds up 3 fingers we say we wont answer b/c he didn't ask just once and wait for the answer.
• music helps soothe both my kids, they have their own play lists and can listen in their rooms or in the car.  The songs we choose are not kiddie songs and are tolerable to my husband and me as well.


For the parents:
• EAR PLUGS, EAR PLUGS, EAR PLUGS!  Wax ear plugs work best, also try headphones or earbuds...even if you're not listening to music.  You will still hear your child, but it will be less extreme and easier to deal with.
• If your frustrated enough to say hurtful things to your child, then maybe consider medicating yourself before your child...xanax or klonopin are good choices...this will help you respond and discipline better and more consistantly.  Maybe some people could handle a child talking every second of everyday and asking question after question, but I can't.  So don't feel bad if you are unable to keep your cool, but do something to fix it.

Thats really all that has worked for us.  Playing the quiet game doesn't help.  Making my son form a 'bubble' in his mouth and hold it there or making him hold his tongue with his fingers, are not very helpful for us.  Teaching him sign language kind of helps, but then he just constantly signs, and will sign the same thing over and over...so the real issue is still not being addressed.

Good luck to anyone dealing with this and please post any new ideas, B/C we are still working on this with our youngest.  Thanks
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I have a ten year old son who was on ritalin and concerta to no avail. I suffer from depression when stressed. And his continuous talking is litrally slowly killing me. Got divorced last year and have to face this on my own - his dad wants nothing to do with him. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. I sometimes wish I was not here any more as the stress it causes me is just so much that I often wonder if life is worth it. I really need some help here as I don't know what to do any more.
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jenbear, what do you do for your depression?  By fully treating that you may be better able to deal with the more annoying things your children do.  They all have their particular characteristics that can be annoying but it's our job to help them overcome them while still making them feel accepted and loved for who they are.

So, make sure you are seeing a doctor and doing what you need to do to overcome your own depression which may be making your patience level and ability to cope less.  

How do you help him learn boundaries?  What types of physical outlets does he have that help with his nervous system being better regulated?  
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I have to say I am a bit relieved to hear I am not the only one with the same concerns.  I have a 6 year old daugher and she is in 1st grade.  She has gotten several yellow cards because she cannot stop talking in class.  Yesterday I was at my wits end because she came home with a red card and thats the worse a child can get.  I find myself saying the word SHUT UP and this word is forbidden in my home.  I really don't know what to do.  I will try anything.  
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I am the step mother of a very similar 6 year old boy.  He just got into trouble today on the bus because he won't stop talking!  He says he just has a lot to say!  I've tried time outs, quiet time, listening exercises, but nothing works!!!  I heard another little boy say my son gives him a headache!  His father and I are also guilty of saying shut up and I feel like such a horrible parent when we have to do that!  At least i'm not alone as I thought!  We have even tried TV after dinner to help him relax, but he'll talk as if someone was in the room or watching with him!!!  He constantly has to dominate conversations, and doesn't even pause long enough to listen for an answer to his question! Should I get him checked out??
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Avatar_m_tn
These posts are hysterical to me... mostly because I deal with the same issue with my 5 year old daughter.  As I read them, I experienced a range of emotions from laughing to crying.  It's nice to know I'm not alone.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.  I found strategies to compensate my whole life as well.  However, at that time, there was no alternative and therefore, all of us with attention issues were forced to find alternative ways to deal.  Now, we are fortunate enough to know more about ADD and ADHD. We need to take what we know and help our children find those alternative ways to deal. Letting them figure it out for themselves is often times where avoidance and "bad" behavior comes from. I applaud those who mentioned social skills training and other methods they are trying.  Don't get discouraged! Keep on trying different methods- the time you're putting in will pay off.  

Putting kids on meds is not the best solution for most.  Medications that treat ADD and ADHD have many side effects, some that are not detected until years later.  The levels of toxicity that you can create in your child's body is far worse that the issues we are discussing.

As far as teachers and administrators go, I am a VP in a 5-21 school and I don't think people look at children differently if they have ADD/ ADHD or are on meds... unfortunately it's common place now.  I think the push back that you're reading in earlier posts regarding meds comes from what we know about the dangers in taking any medication for long periods of time.  As a society we better understanding of holistic remedies.  

I encourage all parents to be careful with the words you use with your children .... try to replace "shut up" with another phrase if you can.... even if it's something silly like "rotten tomatoes!" Hey, at least you will get their attention! Regardless - your posts indicate you're proactive parents who care and you are to be commended for that!  Continue to research ways to address the social skills they lack. Jed Baker has a lot of wonderful information on his website. He has also published several books on the subject. Look up the benefits of fish oil and other herbs.

Thank you all for posting...  
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Avatar_n_tn
I have resorted to putting notes on my door that say "silent time no speaking allowed." I usually make it last 30 mins. If she accomplishes it, she gets a sticker, if not an X. Actually the X was her idea, then she decided she didn't like the X but it was too late to change the rules. Besides I thought the x was a good idea. :)

Respectively, I don't see it as necessarily a sign of intelligence. I see it as a person in wrong human relations. A person who wants to dominate all the attention  and not leave a morsel for anyone else. I'm sorry no one gets to be that important and if she doesn't learn it from me, the world will brutally teach her.

I also have a timer and she I not allowed to speak until it goes off.

Our dog hides from her because she wants to dominate his attention. I use him as an example. I tell her this has nothing to do about Love, but about self- survival. It's hard to survive having a good relationship with her. I love her, the dog loves her but we don't like the way she communicates how she loves us.
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Actually ranger-girl, I thought the same thing as Rockrose. And
I didn't feel it was  hostile. She was just making a point.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think its a major problem with all the parents now a days. Children are becming more and more talkative and they behaves like agressive kids. Its really frustrating.
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I like my kids being talkative.  Enjoy it.  They'll become teenagers who ignore you soon enough!
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Avatar_m_tn
"I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper"

Guess what the "H" stands for in ADHD.  You've already got part of her diagnosis.  Constant talking, movement, whatever is a sign of hyperactivity and the inability to control impulses.  This is why it's so hard for you to have talks with her, set up games, etc. to get her to stop.  She has to have the control from within (not externally) to stop talking, and that part of the brain (the frontal lobe) is not working.

It doesn't matter if other parents sympathize with you or tell you how bright or how creative your child is.  ADHD will persist and make your life and the life of your child hell with constant conflict and irritation.  If you do nothing about ADHD, it will persist into adulthood and continue to plague her and wreak havoc with her education and her career options.

There are only two ways to deal with this: Meds and behavior modification. Meds are the most effective.  The difference is like night and day.  It will calm her down and allow her to focus in school and listen to what you are saying to her.  Behavior modification means establishing levels of control so that she has to work to maintain privileges.

Good luck to you in this struggle.
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My child is the same. She talks endlessly that there were times that I feel really frustrated and at my wits end. But I would not consider giving her any medications. Instead I am thinking of getting her engaged on more physical activities such as swimming, dance or maybe taekwondo.
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YOU are definitely on the right track.  the physical activity is key.  Good luck and again, you seem to be headed in the right direction.  peace
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Avatar_n_tn
Your child is exhibiting symptoms associated with Aspergers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
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Being talkative is not a symptom of aspergers.  the speech patterns typical of aspergers are very noticeable.  Many kids just talk too much with no disorder at all and some with things like impulse control.  But that is different than aspergers.  Aspergers kids talk in the 'little professor' way and have a couple of topics they talk about rather than just talking.  

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Avatar_f_tn
Wow!  It is really a relief to know that I'm not alone.  I definitely understand the frustration all of you are going through.  I go through the moments of feeling like the worse parent ever, but know that I'm not.  I have to regularly use the words "shut up" because my 7 year old daughter very rarely responds to "be quiet," "stop talking," "take a time out," or "let's have quiet time."  She isn't a non stop talker, but does talk "too much."  The other issue i have is that because she wants to talk she doesn't listen well, mostly to me, but also sometimes at school or in other lessons and instruction will have to be repeated to her because she's too busy trying to say whatever is on her mind.  Once she's focused, she's absolutely wonderful at whatever is being taught.  She learns extremely fast and always has.  I receive the same responses from every instructor she's ever had, such as "oh my gosh I'm so impressed with how fast she learns and how smart she is, she will excel very quickly, BUT she likes to talk a lot which is an interruption...when she focuses she's fine..."  I've been working on this with her since she was 3 1/2 yo when she started her first extracurricular activity, Tae Kwon Do.  She did excel fast and the instructor learned to be firm with her per my permission and it helped very quickly.  By age 5 the same was being said by her ballet instructor, gymnastics teacher at age 6.  She turned 7 this month and began Mandarin Chinese language camp over the last 3 weeks and they are saying the same things.  My daughter attends an international dual language school and started learning French there at age 4 (4k) and is entering the 2nd grade in the Fall.  She is already fluent in French, is in the accelerated reading program in French and English at school and does very well all around in school other than talking too much.  Her teachers are very good with handling the situations themselves as I'm a very involved parent where I communicate with the teachers early in the the school year to let them know what to expect and that it's something we've been working on since she began school there in 4k.  I keep communication open during the school year and have tried every disciplinary method and reward system possible (other than buying gifts - I don't believe in rewarding monetarily for expected behavior).  It has been difficult, but having teachers who know how to handle it better helps.  I do think in part that she can't help it as she gets talking honestly from me (I'm a serious talker/social butterfly and her dad is a social butterfly as well, although she's never met him - hereditary for sure).  She also has the need to pay waaaay toooo much attention to other kids and not herself.  Her 1st grade English teacher thinks that she gets bored easily in school and thinks that the rules somehow don't apply to her since she already knows how to do the work, she then begins helping the other kids (and that's the teachers jobs) instead of focusing on herself.  I have done research as well on ADD and ADHD and I don't believe she fits all of the characteristics, but it is supposed to be a diagnoses that is made after careful consult between all - teachers, pediatrician, therapist, school counselor and parent.  I have a 13 year history as a social worker and like some of you, am concerned about the labeling and the diagnoses sticking with her throughout her lifetime.  Medication is not an option for her at this time.  I do know that it is said that certain foods, environment, etc can alter behaviors as well.  I am choosing to keep my child as focused and occupied as possible.  She will stick with the Chinese lessons a few days per week, she has swim lessons once per week (but we go swimming at least 2 other times per week), she has piano lessons once per week and  has to practice throughout the week, and she will continue gymnastics again in the fall.  I will say that all that she is involved in, she requested so she is not being forced to do anything she doesn't want to do.  She is a very ambitious, competitive and determined girl.  It is also found that many people with ADHD are very intelligent, their minds just move a bit faster than the rest of them.  My daughter is a bit fidgity at times and I ask her why she has to move and she can't tell me, but she does make the effort to stop.  Keeping her busy doing work books at home, reading, drawing, watching an age appropriate movie/family show all keeps her very calm/focused.  Spending quality calm time with her watching a movie, cooking, playing a board game, having a tea party, soduko, and word searches together also really helps.  She is a joy other than not listening most of the time.  She sleeps and eats really well and is very sweet, comical, thoughtful and Quite talented but my biggest issue with my daughter is that she is dishonest a lot about things that simply don't matter.  There is never a reason to tell a lie, however a parent can understand a lie because the kid thinks they may get into trouble, but my girl is dishonest too often for absolutely no reason even some times making up stories to me or others.  It's weird and doesn't happen often but waaay too often for me as lying is a major issue for me re: anyone.  The killer is that even when I tell her that I know she's lying she continues on and may even lie to try to cover up the first lie.  She has strong will out of this world in soooo many different ways it's impressive, unbelievable, and can be scary (lying trait).  Does anyone else have the dishonest issue?  
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I so agree with you Lin76.  Thanks for this post because I believe this is part of the reason my daughter talks so much with me.  As a single mom, I'm practically ALWAYS doing something, cooking, cleaning, getting us ready, laundry, ironing, driving, working, etc etc etc. and it leaves little QUALITY TIME for she and I after school/homework.  While she always has my attention, it isn't the attention she's really needing.  I do notice that I'm always doing something or on my phone/computer or the above.  She needs just me all to herself.  I also think that her volume has a lot to do with that attention seeking as well.  She saying, "Mom, I need you to hear what I'm saying to you."  I will be sure to make more Mommy Daughter time for just us chilling out together, not really doing much but giving her all of my attention.  The killer is that my 7 year old has verbalized this desire and need by saying, "mommy, can we just go for a walk together, just you and me, no one else?"  She was expressing this as young as 4 years old.  Bright girl who definitely expresses herself.  I haven't listened enough. We had a mommy and me day all day yesterday at home initiated by her.  Thanks again!
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Oh holy god, this is me, I have a 5 and half year old girl, she is smart, funny and loves people!, I love her dearly..but my god she loves attention, whether that means talking to us or herself or even random people on the street, she has no fear, she is constantly on the move and prances around like a maniac saying "Look at me look at me!!" every day!!! it is driving us insane! my daughter finds it hard to hold any conversation as most of the time she talks over people and then they loose interest in her, she then doesn't understand why nobody wants to be her friend?? she interrupts others, my husband and I can not get a word in EVER! She fails to do what she is told and often drifts off into her own little world, she actually can not sit still and chill out, this is not her, trying to concentrate on say a Movie, a book or even a game she would last 3-5 minutes then we have to change, as a parent I have tried everything, it has to ADHD, as I don't know any other cause of this, I wont put her on medication, as I fear this may make things worse, or worse still bring out another side to my daughter, I feel every parents pain on here as I feel as a parent I have failed my daughter, but everyone must remember its nobody's fault, these things happen, and having support I think is the best cure for this. Nothing will change your love for your child. x
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Oh holy god, this is me, I have a 5 and half year old girl, she is smart, funny and loves people!, I love her dearly..but my god she loves attention, whether that means talking to us or herself or even random people on the street, she has no fear, she is constantly on the move and prances around like a maniac saying "Look at me look at me!!" every day!!! it is driving us insane! my daughter finds it hard to hold any conversation as most of the time she talks over people and then they loose interest in her, she then doesn't understand why nobody wants to be her friend?? she interrupts others, my husband and I can not get a word in EVER! She fails to do what she is told and often drifts off into her own little world, she actually can not sit still and chill out, this is not her, trying to concentrate on say a Movie, a book or even a game she would last 3-5 minutes then we have to change, as a parent I have tried everything, it has to ADHD, as I don't know any other cause of this, I wont put her on medication, as I fear this may make things worse, or worse still bring out another side to my daughter, I feel every parents pain on here as I feel as a parent I have failed my daughter, but everyone must remember its nobody's fault, these things happen, and having support I think is the best cure for this. Nothing will change your love for your child. x
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My child is 5 and she is the same. She talks endlessly, have a hard time staying still in class and constantly talks to her classmates. Her teacher has almost sent her out of the class one time because she was being disruptive. She is very smart though.
I feel so frustrated but I don't think that I will allow her to get medicated.
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Thank you! I was getting appauled  at all the posts by the poor parents that have to put up with they talkative child. Shut up is not a word in our house. Instead of complaining about it, why not try to see the positive in a possibly gifted child. It is a little disturbing to read parents write that their own kids are annoying, or how about the post that said she was going to get a divorce to have a free weekend... Really??? My child is very talkative, constant questions, does not miss a beat, very energetic and excited about most everything. My goal is to keep her spirit and love for people and life, not squash it. She needs to be kindly redirected or explained about respect and listening is also important. It is hard work, I get that. But, telling your child to shut up is not going to help anyone. Get them involved in sports or any activity possible... Constructive energy. Help their self esteem. Not everyone is going to fit in a conforming mold, that would be a pretty boring world. I am far from a perfect parent. But, I ran into this forum to try to find some suggestions to guide my talkative shining star. I will not allow the school system or an impatient teacher put her in the bad category. She wants to learn everything, how can that be a bad thing.
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I am in the same situation. My son is turning 4 this November. He started talking non-stop when he was 3 and never stops. He can do monologue of the book we read few times like the cat in the hat and 10 other books or the lines in the movie we just watch. He will quote lines in the books and use it in real life situation in the right context. He usually doesn't listen to me but when I quote his book I get a response. Now that he is turning 4, he answers my questions but once in a while avoid it and completely which off and talk about other things. He is also extremely social with other kids and gets attached very quickly and cry when its time to say goodbye. His teacher finds him distractive in class because he will sing and talk loudly to himself mostly non-sense. And she thinks he intimidates his peers when he makes angry face but he is just a boy with 10 facial expression per second. The assistant teacher label him as naughty :( which I think is not right. He is a sweet, loving but stubborn boy who has his own mind and very intelligent. I am angry that they are beating out a happy expressive boy out of him. and I hate myself when sometimes I think that there is something wrong with him. Me and my husband is thinking of homeschooling but then he will lose the social interaction with other kids.
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This is another parent that has NO IDEA what it's like to be in our shoes.
I spent the last, i dunno... 900 days? With my kid. Yes, he goes to school. Until 230. They are often off, though, I have him all other hours and weekends. He talks non stop, and by talking I mean SHOUTING LOUDY ALL DAY. MAMA DO YOU WANNA DO THIS WITH ME? (As I'm preparing dinner, every night) MAMA WILL YOU DO THIS? MAMA, MAAAAMAMAAA DO THIS! DO THIS MAMA! (hands me legos) "I can't, sweetie, Im making dinner, we just played for 4 hours outside, I need an hour to make dinner." ... BUT WILL YOU DO THIS? I CAN'T DO IT. "No, sweetie, I have chicken on my hands, please go to the living room, the stove is on and it's dangerous in here, you can watch TV." (He starts singing at the top of his voice) I hear a CRASH!!! MAMA I KNOCKED IT OVER. MAAAAMAAA! I KNOCKED IT OVER! HEY MOM!!! MAMA!!!! CAN I WATCH BATMAN? BATMAN, MAMA? I LIKE BATMAN! VROOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! WHATS THIS THING HERE?! CAN I HAVE THAT? I DON"T WANT DINNER. I DON"T LIKE DINNER. I DON'T WANT DINNER EVER. I DON'T LIKE IT. MAMA!!! "Charlie! I need you to be quiet!" (starts talking loudly about something I can't decipher for the next 10 min, I turn on the music and "press my tongue to the roof of my mouth," aka... SUCK IT IN for the 898th hour that week, the 10th hour that day... and it NEVER ENDS. When people wonder why I only have one?! EVERY day care teacher, and now his pre k teacher complains. Being precocious and adorable is besides the point. He's impulsive and literally CANNOT be quiet, not for a minute. not for 30 seconds, not even for 10 seconds. I am not exaggerating, it is my hell. Oh, did I mention I'm an introvert?

Are you annoyed yet? Because this is 2 min of my day, every day, from sun up to sun down. It's not cute. It's not because he's insecure. it's because he is loud and obnoxious. He did not "get it" from me or his father. He was born this way. It's the way it is. It does not mean I don't love him. I do. It does not make me a bad mother, because I'm a freaking saint. Screw all the judgmental Jennies that say otherwise. Live in my shoes a couple weeks, I bet you'll jump off a bridge or be drinking a bottle of vodka a night.
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I have my own kids and own challenges.  I'm sorry you singled me out to say I don't have a clue.  LOL  But perhaps we just don't get each other.  

Perhaps your son has a developmental issue that causes him to have poor impulse control.  My son has sensory integration disorder and this can be associated with that.  We've done occupational therapy which was very helpful.  My son also participates in many things like competitive swimming which helps regulate his nervous system.  And he is now almost 11 and I realize that he'll soon look to me to be the LAST person on the face of the earth he wants to talk to.  I dread that whereas you are looking forward to it.  

We're just different.  I would guess my house has had over the years an equal amount of nonstop chatter to yours.  I have rules in place that involve my being able to say 'let's take a break and you do X while I do Y and then we'll talk again."  If you think I 'don't understand'---  remember, I have a child with a developmental delay that presents a lot like adhd.  I just see it differently than you and handle it differently.  

Wishing you luck and sorry your child bothers you so much.  I don't judge other moms.  I feel bad that they are miserable.  
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