my child talks TOO MUCH

I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!

[Beewoman]

Honestly I can completely understand your frustration!  I have a son of 9 who talks nonestop and with a very loud voice, questions after questions.  What helped with him were the boundries..... we had family meetings every week to discuss what we could do to live better in our home.  He off course rattled off 50 ideas before we even picked up the pencil!

These children are bright and their brains work very fast, they are very frustrated too.  We seem slow to them and they are still so very young to cope with a calming down mechanism.  They are also anxious children, always wanted to "know everything" and get involved in everything.

It is however extremely tiring for everyone around them.  She is probably very creative, perhaps artistic?  or musical?  Explore which creative avenue you can and develop it in a very therapeutic way, calming.....  

I am reluctant to start therapy for a child so young, but that's my personal choice, however what does help are various books around that exist that perhaps can help you find some solutions for the home and school.  Check with your pedicatrian and he/she may be able to direct you.

My son has ADHD, but your daughter does not necessarily have this, once again check with your doctor.  I have been giving him Valerian drops (child strength) and it has really helped and is natural.  Also, magnesium too.

Remember, you are not alone and you are not horrible in any way, these children can try the patience of a saint but they are very special!

[am05]

I completely understand!!!!!!!!!!!  I just posted one about my daughter who is 6 and 8  mos.  She is the brightest little girl...but she is having trouble sitting still in class...talking, etc...and I fear that she too may be bossy.  She has a lot of friends...a very popular (hate to use that word but I am just meaning to say that she makes and keeps friends easily)...she will do anything to avoid doing her work at school and takes several bathroom trips and has all sorts of somatic complaints to share with the teacher instead of doing her work.  I do not know what to do....except just hope that as she matures some of this will go away....it is new and I did not have any trouble with her in the past....oh it is so frustrating and I feel like our relationship is even changing some because I have to treat her differently.  I feel like I have been such a good mother to her and spent so much time with her.....and now....has it helped or hurt her?  I am so concerned...and fear that it is going to get worse.  I have been on the computer googling ADDHD....and I am so not into her taking any meds...I do not really think she has it but I am just very worried.  So I share in your same worries.

[Beewoman]

First things first, as you are concerned about your daughter you should get her tested by a good child psychologist that will do the variety of tests : physcological (who they see the world etc) and educational tests (for learning disabilities).  About 40% of children with ADHD also have learning disabilities.

The doctor will be able to tell you if she has ADHD or not, or perhaps just some attention issues which of course is not the same thing.

Good luck and keep us posted if the diagnoisis is ADHD, there are some excellent books that can help you and her understand what is happening.

[dilateyourmind]

Just wanted to tell the OP we have the same daughter. *sigh* I did a google search of talking to much and found you all. My daughter is about to turn 5. ADHD runs in my family. I never thought I would yell at my child to shut up either.

[MrsT0714]

Reading your post it was as if you were describing my son.  He is 8 yrs old, very bright, and adhd.  Since kindergarten he has had the same issues in school, talking too much, very high energy, asking questions incessantly, (Is God married, why does the moon follow me home, what kind of car did your dad drive when you were little, can we go to the movies this weekend, and on and on and on)  Not only that, his teachers all told me that he was very bright, but had to be reminded constantly to keep on task, because he would talk rather than do his work.  He was seperated from the class, lost recess time, and almost failed the second grade.  But he was unhappy...he had a hard time making friends, and it broke my heart to watch him suffer...I finally medicated him at the beginning of the school year.  I didn't want to, and was very opposed to it.  However, the FIRST day he was medicated at school his teacher called me to tell me what a difference she saw. He was able to sit still, did not need constant reminders, rose his hand, did not blurt out answers in class, and behaved wonderfully.  So he has been on concerta for 2 months.  EVERYONE has noticed a difference with him, and besides all that, his report card was all a's and b's, and he is happy again.  He is actually in advanced placement classes for math and english, and at the end of the day he gets to go read books to the kindergarten classes.  It was worth it for him.  I'm not saying that your daughter needs medication, I'm just saying that my son did, and it's sad the negative stigma attached to it.  It really helped my son to be able to pause and think, instead of react and get in trouble, which makes him so proud of himself. Hell, I wish I would've done it three years ago and he didn't have to go through all the frustration that he did.  Good luck to you and your daughter...and remember....we ALL say things we regret sometimes, we're only human...don't beat yourself up.

[KaLisemommy]

I felt like you were talking about my child (hug) I also find myself telling her to shut up and I hate saying it. I do think my daughter might have a mild case of adhd but I wouldnt put her on medication for it. I am gonna watch this post becuase I need advice on the same issue!

[specialmom]

Ya know, a nicer way to ask for a break is to say "let's play the quiet game".  Set a timer or use your watch or phone to illustrate the length of time----- and say that we must take a break from talking during the quiet time game.  

Also, this is a sign that your child has trouble reading nonverbal social cues (and some verbal ones too).  Work on this in an instructional way.  Talk about how we talk to strangers.  The give and take of real conversation.  The pausing to listen to others as polite and how we are good friends and family members.  Role play it.  You can teach a child that is not getting some social things naturally.

I would stay away from getting so frustrated that you yell or say shut up.  You'll end up with a kid who starts doing that.  Tell him/her you are going to the bathroom and you'll be right back when you are getting ready to blow.  Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.  Take deep breaths.  But try to remain calm.  

Good luck!

[bittenbutterfly]

Wow.. sounds a lot like my youngest son. I have an older son who has severe ADHD and he doesn't talk non-stop like my youngest. My youngest does not have ADHD, but "may" have bipolar. My youngest has a different father. We both have Bipolar, I know my mom said that I talked a lot as a child, but nothing like my youngest. We get frustrated too at times and yell shut up when he doesn't hear be quiet a million and one times! We asked for the quiet time. Especially in the car, I like to listen to the radio and my lil' boy vocalizes every thought that comes through his head. Enough to drive a sane person crazy and a crazy person insane! LOL I wont medicate my kids, all these pharmaceuticals are getting scary these days. Any thoughts of teaching my son skills to learn to be quiet? I'm glad my kids talk to me.. and I know everything thing that they do and they think! **sigh** But I like to watch a show or just have a few mins of quiet time myself.. Its sometimes too much, it puts me in the I dont want to be around my kids sometimes, because its constant!

[erica619]

As i was reading your post i felt as it was me writting!!! My son is 6 and I have the same problem!!! I love him so much, but i really enjoy my solo moments!!!

[Natta1980]

Ah I wish my son talked a lot.....:( He can but most of the time he chooses not too :) he only talks when he needs something/something interests him a great deal....No social chatter qhatsoever, asks minimal questions......


I guess the grass is always greener on the other side:)

[meigs_dad]

Your six-year old sounds a lot like my five-year old.  Mine has been extremely talkative since she started talking and my wife and I get very frustrated trying to get through to her that she doesn't have to talk alllllllll the time.  We can't have a conversation until she goes to bed because she seems to think she has to be the one talking, like she feels left out if two other people are talking and she's not.  Trying to get anything done around the house is also difficult between the barage of verbal diarhea (diarrhea) and, "Daddy, watch this!  Daddy, watch this!" constantly.  She's also very bossy with her friends and been told as much by them.  She won't shut up in her dance class when the teacher's trying to talk to the students but no one seems to be firm with her and tell her to shut up and listen for a change.  My wife and I are split up but will be getting back together soon and are planning on hiring a parenting coach and I sure hope she can figure out what we're dealing with and can provide some advice on how to get it under control, otherwise we may end-up separated again.
Good luck to everyone here!  I hope we can find some helpful advice and ideas here and share them.

[specialmom]

I think the parenting coach or parenting lessons would be awesome on many levels.  good luck

[kimani2]

I have a 10 year old who gets in trouble often regarding her love for conversation.  I was like that at her age.  I talk to her and let her know that sometimes she will get in trouble and lose out on things she enjoys because of her talking a times that are inappropriate.  I know that she understands but I think a part of it she can't control.  I have requested her instructors to give her more work to keep her busy and to possibly keep her mouth shut.

Peace and Blessings,

Kimani

[beba82]

Im also desperate with my 6 year old daughter that doesnt stop talking. She drives me crazy because she runs her mouth all day long.
I dont think is ADD but there must be some type of diagnost to this problem. I know how each one of you feel or go throught each day. It really hirts me when i have to get to the point and scream at her "SHUT UP" it sound rough but her talking gets very anoying.

ATT: beba

[Claire1986]

your children all sound alot like my just turned 3yr old daughter.... ive been looking at ADHD on google n she seems to tick alot of the boxes for hyperactive? should i take her to our GP?

[frustratedmom81]

Wow, I'm not alone in the struggle. I have a six year old son that, if not corrected, will talk non-stop about anything. I've tried everything from rewards to punishment to restrictions. In class he finishes his work so quickly that he gets bored and starts talking to whoever will listen. His teacher has started assigning him extra work to keep busy, but that only goes so far. His grades academically are great, but because of his talking his behavior is lacking. He is an only child and I"m a single working mother, so sometimes I think he just craves the attention (positive or negetive) that talking gets him. The frustrating thing is when he wants something, such as computer time, toys, junk food he can be quite, but I can't, and don't want to, have to always bribe him into doing what he should do all the time. I guess my overall question is, is this something he'll grow out of? I was told by several people that the talking is a sign that he's very intelligent and I do believe this. The thing is I don't want to discourage his curiosity, but he needs to learn when it's appropriate and when it isn't. And I simply don't know how to teach him that.

[Michelou]

Thank you Thank You Thank You! This discussion has been a God-send and I needed some of the ideas posted here. I too LOVE my 6 y.o daughter and want so desperately to reach her and constructively teach her not to talk sooooo much. She is bright and inquisitive and figures out things so quickly that I don't want to hinder that at all. Thank you especially for the role playing ideas- maybe some social etiquette lessons will help her.

[cwatt]

MY 6 year old daughter never, ever stops talking.  OH my!  Some days i have more patience than others.  When i don't want to hear what she has to say, because she generally just wants to hear her own voice i think...i make her DEAR (drop everything and read) or give her math work.  She either does the work quietly, or says no way, and therefore goes somewhere else to play.  If she concentrates, this usually "shuts her up" so to speak.

Unfortunately, this summer, we have been camping, hard to send her away.  I threaten time outs and follow up on my threats everytime.  I've explained that my ears hurt, that she should not hog all the talking time, and that unless she has a message, we don't need a play by play commentary on every thing that happens inside her brain.  Some things should be thoughts you keep for yourself until someone asks about them.

works most of the time...but like i said, some days are better than others.

[jev1208]

Hi there,
I have a almost 6 year old with a lot of the same issues. I tend to say "shut up" as well and I also find that when Im busy with something is the worse. So I know a lot of it is an attention thing. He is very much a "why" boy, so 80% of what he does say, starts with why. I have a gf that works as an ECE and she said that i should start asking him why back and getting him to start answering his own questions. This takes a lot of patience because you simply dont get rid of the constant chatter. The other issue is the repetitiveness of his questions. Questions like, "what are we doing after school?" or "what are we doing when I wake up?". Does anyone else have a child that HAS to know what is going on every minute of the day? LOL. I thought about placing him in something that could make good use of his talking skills such as acting classes, as I truly believe that he needs to be doing something in which he is good at and will exhaust that part in him. He is artistic and he can act- i call him a drama queen because he acts all day... everything is more dramatic then it needs to be and id say 60% of the time he cant sit still... so I feel for all your guy's pain. I am hesitant to say he has ADD, i think its more like Hyperactiveness.

[besticando]

My now 4 1/2 year old son has been jabbering/talking nonstop for as long as he could make sounds.  I've always talked to him even as a baby as I find I am a natural teacher and "explainer". While this has helped prevent many behavioral issues (he's has been a breeze in almost every other way), I kind of fear I have created the talking monster. He mainly has liked to converse, so I found various ways to cope such as enstating quiet time in which I will not answer his questions-- especially in the car when I worry about safety due to distraction and the fatigue/headaches that his constant talking cause in me. I expected his talkativeness to decrease, but now his imagination has moved into full gear and he narrates stories and talks as charactors when he plays and also constant "sound effects" have started and with a boy playing with toy vehicles, the sounds are loud and limitless. I will explain that I need breaks from his noise and that he will need to play alone for a certain amount of time, but our house is not big and the sounds are. I am a person who needs lots of quiet to concentrate and remain calm so my nerves are jangled and my head aches much of the time.
It's such a relief to know there are other moms coping with this. I really do try to cherish each moment with my son and I know the years go by too fast. I tell myself that when he's 16, maybe he will no longer share anything with mama, so I appreciate our closeness now. My family and friends who do not understand the challenge of the nonstop talking say things like. "I could just listen to him all day. He's so interesting." Or "Never tell a child to be quiet, they learn by asking questions." As if I didn't know he is interesting or learning. They haven't spent constant time with the constant verbal barrage. Being able to keep silent, listen and learn through attention and observation is possibly a more highly valuable skill to acquire. I do worry a lot about how he will do in school once he goes for full days.

[RaleighMommy]

We all have the same problem, and I have to say I feel so much better reading these posts - it's very lonely when you are ripping yourself up for being a bad parent.  My son has a heart of gold, but with everyone coming down on him for the "hyperactivity" he's starting to lash out with anger.  I suppose I understand that frustration.  I am of the "ignorance is bliss" group here, which means I refuse to have him evaluated because I don't want him labelled.  Sensory Integration Disorder or ADHD or both, which is likely.  So I've been reading a lot of books and one great one from amazon is "Arnie and his School Tools".  Read it with your child and then give it to your child's teacher or school counselor.  We are finding some success with:  allowing him to chew sugarless gum DISCREETLY during class; an "active seat" which is made by Ergo - it's an inflatable seat cushion that somewhat throws the child off balance and therefore forces him to sit up and sit still; a "quiet quilt" which is a weighted blanket - this helps his restlessness at night, and we got a lap-sized 4lb version for the car and the classroom.  I'll keep you posted on how this all helps him.  We have a teacher conference on Monday and the teacher also says she has some ideas to try.  Oh, and the most important thing!  These kids need sun on their skin for at least an hour a day so get them outside to play!  That natural, Vitamin D boost really helps!

[Izzylu]

You are by no means horrible or a bad parent.  Kids can be the most frustrating, annoying, insanity driving, loving, creative joys that life gives us.  My 6 y/o has brought home a note for the 2nd time this week!  from school regarding her talking in class and getting up out of her seat (they've only had 3 days of school this week so far!).  Both my husband and I have "talked" to her repeatedly, but it just doesn't seem to be sinking in.  We do the whole rewarding good behaviors and punishing bad ones, but again that works for a little while then she's right back to her usual bad behaviors.  She "forgets the rules".  She's also quite bossy, likes to tell others how to do things, that she typically has no clue about.  
Everyone says she is a mini me.  And, in all honesty she is exactly like me, looks like me at that age, acts like me at that age, etc.  My mom, her mimi, even calls her by my name sometimes!  I'm hesitant to get her tested for ADD just like most parents out there, but at 40 y/o I was recently diagnosed with ADD.  The psychiatrist said that it's highly likely that I've had it my entire life and developed mechanisms/strategies to compensate that have recently begin to fail.  I recently discussed my concerns with my daughter possibly having ADD and he said that it is extremely likely that she does have it as well.  
So why would I let her struggle with school and behavioral issues, like I did as a child, if there are meds/treatments available to help?!  My schooling didn't improve until 2nd yr of high school when I became more involved with school and extra-curricula activities, which forced me to focus my time better (aka compensatory strategy)!
Is it the social stigma of ADD/ADHD that scares parents?  Is it that these kids get treated differently from teachers and school administrators?  If so, then changes (education) needs to take place for the educators and administrators.

[labesi]

Oh thank God I found this post, it actually made me laught out loud, as I read trought your posts as I have a 6 year old little chatter box, who asks question 12/7, interrupts any conversation I try to have, has told his Taikwando teacher that he loves him, invites random people into the house and is obssessed with Out of Service buses, wich he asks everyone about, and no matter how many times you explain why the buses go out of service he still keeps asking why this is! Some days its ok, I answer his endless why questions and actually end up having a giggle with him when he keeps going on and on about the same random things, other days I just say huh huh, ok and yes and try to remain calm, wich sometimes is VERY difficult. Thumbs up guys, if we can make trought this, we can make trought anything!

[booboosmom13]

I have a similar problem, that my 10 year old son talks insessively and is driving us nuts. We don't believe he has ADHD/ADD, just likes to talk. He is very well liked by the teacher and students in his class. He brings home homework because he is too busy socializing with his neighbors and class mates. I asked how a reward system would work and he sighed and said "I hate rewards". He loves books from the school book orders, so I suggested we work with the teacher each week if he deserves a book.
I want to see him succeed. Any suggestions on how to help him focus and listen. Why it takes me 5 times to say no, it drives me nuts!! I know he''s a child. I don't want to medicate him, as I believe its not ADHD.

[rangergirl1877]

I see allot of people on here have the same issue as I do with my daughter. Had anyone gotten any helpful feed back as to what to do?? When she runs out of people that will listen, she'll just keep talking herself. She just turned 6 two days ago but this has been going on for a over a year. Patience is something I think I once had but muster up strength every day to deal. I just hold in my frustration and scream inside while I walk away from her. I find it depresses me allot to live this way too. I say Be quiet please in a tone like im chewing glass, no yelling and  never shut up but I have thought it. Causes for her talking would have to be attention, communication frustration between child and adults  (the more she talks the more we'll get what she is saying in her mind), she loves to argue too and will argue with her toys as if in conversation, I think she is trying hard to figure out the world and talks or asks many questions to get the understanding she desires. I don't know but from the stuff she talks about this is what I gather from it. She is sweet, smart and every one at school knows who she is, People I never met tell me how loving and sweet she is when I tell them who I am. She is never happy with me, no matter what I do. Take her places like Zoo, mall, lake she hates it, buy her a movie she wanted for 6 months surprise her and she says "oh" like she never wanted it. She gets happy when other people do stuff for her. I don't know how much more one on one time I can fit in I am always reading to her, having her help me in the kitchen, stuff like that or just talking till my throat hurts still she craves attention.. All I can add to anyone seeking help is I am consistant in the boundries and how much of the behavior I will accept with her. Strict rule number one if it is family movie time and she wants to watch with the older people she must be quiet and we allow her a question period after the movie, if she feels she has questions to ask during. This seems to work cuz if she isn't compliant she has to sit in her room while the rest of us have our movie. Other thing is at school she talks and acts up in line. Allot of this is failor in the teachers end to control her class but I do know my child acts up cuz I sit in and watch her and her teacher  from time to time. Sometimes she doesn't know I am there. Most of the stuff she talks about in school is stuff that has happened at home like new shoes or new puppy. I don't know really how to get her to behave when she is in another persons care. I exspect that person to have background dealing with child  and be able to cope on some level. Not make the problems worse by only addressing the problem when she is having a bad day but be consistant on there disapline also. It's like telling a child "when your father gets home, I am telling on you" then the child is awsome for Dad but is terrible for Mom. You have to address the problem when it happens to get the results you seek. Atleast with my kids teacher I have this issue. I tell my daughter shame on you. Behave in class or else you wont be going to the park after school (an activity we do to help her blow of steem after school) and I enforce it. Or if I feel she didn't get enough play time at school that day I'll take away another privlege but that just gets her to behave for me not so much the teacher. Our teacher was 8 mos pregnant when she started the year end of Aug. she was then gone from sept till after thanksgiving. The sub was awesome. Our teacher has a behavior color system. blue-red blue being good yellow waring, red Bad. My daugher was getting blue faces all but one day a week, she'd get warning yellow in subs care. Her reg teacher has been back for 3 days and every day my daughter has had yellow marks. Other teacher was hands on, caring and did a great job. My Kindergartner can read only after a few months in her care. Now I am told she can't read words I know she knows and can only count to 29, she counts to 100 constantly at home. I think my daughter is haveing a hard time with the transistion to the teacher from the sub. Talking is what she is being writen up for. Her first day back from maternity leave she addressed the class as I am so disapointed..hmm really?? kindergarten? She left school bitchy ( i say to myself,  okay your very pregnant your entitled) I had hoped she'd come back rested and eager to get into the teaching spirit but really am disapointed my self that this is what she came back with. The sub was amazing and the kids were doing great. Now my daughter sulks all the way home from school and says her teacher is grouchy all the time. What to do.. what to do. I am not dissmissing my childs talking she needs to behave I'd like to see my daughter mature some, stop talking sooo much and have some respect for me.  There has to be a fine median some where.

[RockRose]

Rangergirl,  do you notice that you talk a lot also?

[rangergirl1877]

No, I just have the ability to type 85 WPM and think you ought to find something better to do with your time then bud in where your opinion is not wanted. I also have more then one issue that corresponds with the underlying problem "talking"  and it required more then one paragraph to discuss. Maybe another Mom or Dad has the same problems. Excuse me for trying to find some help for my child and my family. Get a life!

[RockRose]

I meant that question very honestly,  sorry you felt it was hostile.

My son talked a lo at that aget,  and when I'd ask him to please be quiet he'd say but then my mind feels sleepy.   I think that's probably what's going on with your daughter,  needing to keep verbalizing to keep her brain focused.

BTW,  I type 135 words per minute,  but that doesn't mean my posts are  very very long.  

[JLBM]

My 4 YO Daughter talks a lot. There is no filter from thought to talk.

I try telling her that I love her, and we don't need to talk all the time to show that we love each other.

I don't want her to shut down completely, and I hate the thought of hurting her feelings and our long term relationship but I am definitely struggling with this. It's very hard to keep patience and very hard to draw a line with her about "quiet time" as she ignores me because she doesnt want to be hurt, and 5 mins later is chattering away again.

My son is very quiet, only speaks when necessary and is a great kid to have a conversation with about what he did at school, etc (Age 5). When he and I start to converse, my daughter jumps in an tries to interrupt and though I try and sound interested in what she has to say, it's just not relevant to the conversation and I find myself often saying things like wow, or oh ok. Sometimes all I can do is be silent because there is simply nothing to respond to. Again she says everything she is thinking.

I hope we can resolve this and that I can teach her that silence is often more powerful than the constant need to be noticed or heard.

I haven't quite put my finger on how to nip this in the bud yet, but hopefully she can learn that people are much more interested in what you say when you say only what is important.

[missessippy]

I have a 9 year old who will talk non-stop to anyone who will listen.  And I think that is the answer to why many of our children talk so much...they are wanted to be heard...I mean TRULY heard.  They may not alway make sense verbally, but if you pay attention to their clues in their sentences, you'll be surprised at how much they are really saying.  Once we started really listening and paying attention to her needs, she didn't seem to ramble as much.

[beccaskid]

my son too is an excessive talker, from the moment he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed. He is very smart so i do not want curb and potential mental growth, but there has to be a way to calm him down and learn about the quality of what he has to say rather than non-stop.

If anyone has been successful in overcoming this problem please feel free to share your insights

[My2AngelBabies]

So glad I found this forum, I felt like the worst parent in the world.  I have just recently quit work to be a stay-at-home mom.  I have a 6yo daughter in kindergarten and a 5yo son in pre-school.  Pre-school is only 1/2 a day M-Th and not at all on Friday.  So we have all day together on Friday, mind you, I love my Kids dearly, but my son talks non-stop.  We do the no talking for 10 minutes thing, but I still felt bad about asking him to stop talking.  I know what he is saying is very important to him, but most of it is just randomness to me.  He's not a bad kid, he's very well behaved, especially out in public, and when he talks he's very soft spoken. But, if he picks up a toy to play with it he will say something like, hey mommy, I just picked up Thomas to play with, Thomas is blue, Thomas is a train engine........ and on and on.  He can literally think of dozens of things to say about picking up that one item to play with.  I know he gets part of it from me, I have always been a talker, but I am being honest when I say, he could literally talk for hours without stopping.  He's not an independent player, so he's under my heels all day long when we are home together, talking the whole time.  He's not so bad when my daughter is home too, he sits in the room with her and plays and doesn't talk so constant then.  I just wish I could find something that he enjoys enough that he will take a break every now and again, not stop talking completely.  I've heard the'll do that soon enough.

[bullocks]

I am reading lots and lots of the same problem. I have a 7 year old that is will not stop talking in school. Have tried rewards. Have tried taking away things. Have tried counseling.  I am looking for help. We all know what does'nt seem to be working. Does ANYONE know what does?

[cloudchsr]

I've had two boys with the same issue. My oldest is 26 and my youngest is 8. The notes from teachers are all the same: talking and making noises. He too walks up to strangers and makes friends very easily. I think it is an asset, but others see it as intrusive. He is overtly friendly and happy--has been since birth. How can that be a bad thing? But it is--at least in today's school environment. I have taught public school for 25 years, grade K-6 and I welcome the child who brings questions and curiosity into the room. I also recognize the need for socializing and talking. I try to do a lot of group work and allow for movement throughout the day. There are ways for teachers to make talk constructive and on-task. I also find that these types of children do best when in programs for the Gifted.

It may truly be a problem that I need to take seriously, but medication is not an option for my youngest son. I tried it with my older son, along with extensive social skills training, and got no results. In fact, the medication brought about Tourettes, which they say it can do. I am a current PhD student in the field of education, and when I find the answer I will be sure to pass it along. I can truly empathize with you all.

[margypops]

I have found most children to be talkative , i like it, my opinion is its perfectly normal , enjoy it, it would be worse and you would be more worried if they said ..nothing

[tamic]

It is surprising to see all the parents that share similar issues with their children, I have a 7 year old who faces the same thing. Has anyone ever thought that this is quite natural and we should be finding natural ways of helping them? I am so tired of people throwing around the word ADD or ADHD... it seems like soon the whole world will be diagnosed as such. I am so against medicating these kinds because it does have side effects and does affect them in the long run. I know I can get a little frustrated when I get a call from my son's school but I will continue to try with him and to find natural methods/ ways of helping him. This is just my take on things... not questioning anyone's parenting skills... Each individual do what’s best for their families

[margypops]

Totally agree with you I think it has got to proportions way out of line these labels and the drugs that go with them are far too easy to obtain, I think there maybe a case for it at times but nothing like the proportions,we see the side effects are horrendous that  many of  these children go through .Well said ...its refreshing to hear.

[klh2981]

My 7 yr. old son has been on adhd medication since pre-school and i have had to switch his medication until now because of the horrible side effects.  I am sick of having to give him a pill each morning just like he is sick of taking it.  It helps him a lot in school especially with focusing and getting work finished.  However, he still talks up a storm about every little thing he can think of and it drives me nuts to where I tell him that  I need a time out and will be back in 5 minutes.  This works, because I will go in another room for that amount of time, take a breath and then come back out and let him know it is okay to say what he needs to say but slowly and calmly.  Otherwise I let him know that i can't understand him and if he want's to talk to me he has to slow down.   Its a work in progress and I am hoping that some day i can take him off of his medication.  Like for an example of his talkativeness....tonight he talked about a favorite toy for 2 hours straight!!!!!!  He will interupt adults talking, be loud, make annoying noises and immediately smother me with talking when i pick him up after work.  I know he has a lot to say and misses me but omg!  Only so much I can take.   Anyways, I'm gonna keep reading all of these posts, they help.

[margypops]

Hah Have to say I wish I had mine around now to 'talk my head off'  would adore to turn back the clock ......

[Mommy_Dee]

Omg, I knew I was not alone, but this is like a breath of fresh air.. I have the same problem, daughter, age 6, babbling as we speak on the bus singing her own made up song same line over and over for the whole ride despite my sweet "please hush while mommy reads" a million times.. I dnt want her on medication, and although he's not her father my fiance n his family try their hardest to help to only get just as frustrated, I feel lost :(

[mantecamommy]

I have this same issue. My son talks non-stop even to himself and sometimes in his sleep. He has trouble not talking when others are talking and talks over the teacher. He is easily frustrated and wants to be involved in everything including adult conversations. If you ask him to be quiet he is quiet for maybe 5 seconds and we have never managed to make it longer. He gets in trouble at school because of the talking and he doesn't want to "transition" to other activities. I am loathe to say that he is ADHD but he very much could be. He is 4 and this has been happening his entire life. I know that he is still young so most say oh he will grow out of it but it is just getting worse as time goes on. Anyone have any advice?

[mantecamommy]

I have this same issue. My son talks non-stop even to himself and sometimes in his sleep. He has trouble not talking when others are talking and talks over the teacher. He is easily frustrated and wants to be involved in everything including adult conversations. If you ask him to be quiet he is quiet for maybe 5 seconds and we have never managed to make it longer. He gets in trouble at school because of the talking and he doesn't want to "transition" to other activities. I am loathe to say that he is ADHD but he very much could be. He is 4 and this has been happening his entire life. I know that he is still young so most say oh he will grow out of it but it is just getting worse as time goes on. Anyone have any advice?

[lcollins1960]

Wow, sounds like our little man. He's almost 6 in kinder and asked me to tape his mouth shut when he goes to school Monday so he won't get in trouble. His mom, my daughter was ADD and took meds. She is VERY against meds because of her eventual abuse of meds and subsequent drug addiction. I teach 2nd grade as well so I know what his teacher goes through.  It is hard and sad but we are hopeful that first grade will be better. If not, perhaps I can talk my daughter into seeing a doctor about him

[lcollins1960]

Wow, sounds like our little man. He's almost 6 in kinder and asked me to tape his mouth shut when he goes to school Monday so he won't get in trouble. His mom, my daughter was ADD and took meds. She is VERY against meds because of her eventual abuse of meds and subsequent drug addiction. I teach 2nd grade as well so I know what his teacher goes through.  It is hard and sad but we are hopeful that first grade will be better. If not, perhaps I can talk my daughter into seeing a doctor about him

[handsmom05]

i fnd myself reading about my eight year old daughter in all of your blogs.  sometimes i feel driven to dispair with her nonstop talking and questions. i genuinely believe that she just likes to hear herself talk.  i can't hardly hold a thought in my head for more than a few seconds most days.  then i end up yelling at her and then feeling bad the rest of the day.  i hate living this way.  i love her dearly though, she is just the sweetest girl with a pure heart.  the sad thing is though i have a thirteen year old son who seems to get lost because he hardly says two words all day (unless they are fighting).  i feel worst of all for him.  with soccer season on and a husband home sick from work and of course my daughter, i bet i had not spoken more than two sentences to him today.  then he went to bed without so much as a "goodnight" for me.

has anyone here ever heard of dr. henry clouds book, boundries? or how to teach kids boundries?  i think i will try to see if he might have some suggestions.  i have read his book a long time ago and found him to be quite sensible and practicle as well as understanding. but h never sugar coats anything, which i like.  he just lets the chips fall where they may and you decide for yourself.

[bbogie22]

I found this post while looking for help in dealing with my 9 year old son. He talks alot, yes, but its different from what you all are describing. He has to have the last word about EVERYTHING. I can be talking to his brother in another room, on another level, and he will have to say something. He's very very very observant, and dependable because of it. I try to explain to him that it's a gift to be observant, but that he doesn't have to say something about EVERYTHING! If I tell him to do something, he never does it without a challenge or argument. His other two brothers will just say Yes Ma'am and do as their told, but not him. It is very annoying, not just to me, but to everyone in our household. It is not pleasant to have him around. I have tried everything. Child psychologist says there's nothing wrong with him. He's an A B student, does all his school work without having to be told to do it, but he's a loud, bossy, back talking child with a wonderful heart. I just wish I could get through one day of not having to tell him to stop talking. I wish we could legally use duct tape! That's how bad it gets! HELP!

[carmela22]

My 5 year old is like all these other children, constantly talking.  He even talks in his sleep.  He takes concerta but it has been hit or miss on the dose.  We are still working on that.  He is very impulsive too.  So that is a constant struggle.  This drives me crazy.  He always had to be the center of attention. It is very frustrating for me and everyone in my house.  Any other suggestions besides meds?  The guy who is getting a parenting coach, where did you find them?  That may be helpful for me.  Thanks.

[yana82]

Im   going through the same thing with my 5 year old.its so hard .she does not stop.!!!

[madamvee360]

Hi I feel like you and all the other caring wonderful mothers are talking about my 4 year old.She is very bright but talks incessantly all the time and being a single mum it drives me to insanity alot but I want to help her with it because according to my parents I was exactly the same.I have forever felt like an outcast and not one of the family due to them and everyone i knew at school treating me the same when I honestly couldnt help that i was taling so much, I was bullied for it and dropped out of school and went down the wrong path. My parents never helped me with it they just hated me for it and now I want to help my daughter before she ends up like me it scares me.

[madamvee360]

Hi I feel like you and all the other caring wonderful mothers are talking about my 4 year old.She is very bright but talks incessantly all the time and being a single mum it drives me to insanity alot but I want to help her with it because according to my parents I was exactly the same.I have forever felt like an outcast and not one of the family due to them and everyone i knew at school treating me the same when I honestly couldnt help that i was taling so much, I was bullied for it and dropped out of school and went down the wrong path. My parents never helped me with it they just hated me for it and now I want to help my daughter before she ends up like me it scares me.

[Joe568892]

My kid talks a lot. Sometimes, I tell him that I have a headache and  need a break to rest and after fair warning I basically become unresponsive for about five minutes. This frustrates him if he's not through with talking so I try to do this in between topics, and I think it might be a bad parenting technique BUT I think it's a better tactic than yelling "shut up!". Plus, him being frustrated when I refuse to talk is much like me being frustrated when he talks too much so I think my talk breaks may equalize our relationship a bit and teach him that other people require   breaks while socialising. It probably helps that he's little older than most of your kids and we share crude/black humour (for kids) so me refusing to talk is sort of funny to both of us. Sometimes after I rest I secretly play a game whereby I attempt to out talk him on whatever issue he's ranting about, which usually makes him laugh. So there's two tactics you might want to try; talk break followed by "attempt to out talk them" game. Of course, if they get mad I would stop the "out talk them game" but if it's seen as funny, give it a try. It might make them feel better and make them realize that you DO want to talk to them, just not all the time.  

[peachymom08]

My 9 year old son, who has adhd and is on the autism spectrum, won't stop talking!  I have to answer the same questions all day everyday with him.  People who have kids and don't have this problem cannot understand the stress it can put on a parent.  He asked very specific questions and wants specific answers like "is this place newer than this place?"  "How much newer?  Why?"  "Is so and so town shrinking?" "Why?"  I mean very specific questions all day long.  He goes to bed still asking questions.  He wakes up asking questions.  I pick him up from school asking questions.  We go to town asking questions.  I can't get away from it.  They are many many other questions he asks as well.  Sometimes I will outline all questions I will not answer today before he starts and that sometimes helps.  He usually beats me to it and I start my day out completely frustrated.  He will also change answers that you give him around.  You can answer his question and he will completely change what you just said.  I joke that he will make a great lawyer of politican one day; but inside I am crying.  My husband and I tell him often that we will not answer his questions because we have already answered them and he needs to remember them.  He is on Straterra 30mg. a day to help with adhd.  He has a learning disability.  Behind in about everything, except math.  He loves math.  Don't know what to do!!!!

[charkennedy1225]

LOL! I can definitly relate to everyone's post. There's not much I can add. I have a 6 year old son who is also very bright and loves to talk. He gets it honest though. My mom told me that I was a big talker around that age too. She said she was constantly getting notes from the teacher. She still has my report card from 1st grade and it reads: Reading-- A, Math-- A, P/E,Music, Art--All A's.  Conduct--D! And under the comments the teacher wrote that I talked excessively! So it's hard to get mad at my son, knowing I was the same way as a girl :)

[jenetter]

I know the original post is a few years old...but ahhhh, how nice to read that I'm not the only GOOD parent who has said the "S" word (SHUT UP!) to my beautiful, energetic, sweet, smart, creative, bright, chatterbox. It kills me to admit it, because I am a teacher. Wait---not only do I teach children, but I also help teach parents better coping and parenting skills after they have been reunified with their children...I KNOW the right things to do, I teach the right things to do, and every now and then, I still lose my cool. I'm human. Sigh. :)

I was diagnosed this past year with ADHD, and finally agreed to start medication six months after my diagnosis. It made a difference for me, but I also know that I don't want to start my daughter on meds until she is capable of telling me what her body feels like inside.

Now, my baby girl drives me nuts---but reading these comments has really helped. Sometimes you're too close to your situation to have a healthy perspective. Someone made a comment to the effect of "Your child might be verbalizing constantly to stay focused on a task." HOLY COW!!! Thank you!!! That was a switch for my light bulb! That's exactly what my 41/2 year old does!!! And you know what? I do it too without my meds!

Thanks for being open, everyone. Sometimes it's hard to be vulnerable and admit that we're not the perfect parents and that our children are not perfect. But oh, how encouraging for the rest of us to read!!! :)

[knkpatrick]

OMG - I really get it, I did a search trying to figure out what to do with my 6 year old daughter that won't stop talking and is getting in trouble at school and home.  We are only in the second week of school and she as gotten two warnings, something the teacher said she will not star until September unless something is really out of control.  Last year her kindergarten teacher taped her mouth shut in front of the class, I did not find out until months later and I was really upset, but I can see why she did it.  We changed schools because we are moving, so I thought it would be a fresh start, but if she keeps going at this rate, none of the teachers are going to want her.  

[projax5000]

Wow I am not glad that this has to be dealt with so often but I am so glad I am not alone....my 8 year old son is in every and all conversations...and will complain loudly if he didn't hear all of a conversation between my husband and myself that is if we can have a conversation...I am thinking of having "yes but" tattooed on his forehead....it is his favorite words..."go clean your room"......"Yes But" is constantly in trouble at school for talking out....he is not ADD he does not fly off the walls (well I mean he is a boy and has his moments) but it is just non stop talking to anyone and everyone who will listen...strangers included ...I am so paranoid he will just walk off one day with some "friendly stranger" he has no boundaries...
will talk about farts and any other inappropriate matters at inappropriate times...When I was a kid I was complete and total opposite...I talked to no one....so for me a quiet lover this is very hard to take some days...he is very smart..and very kind and loving....like all your kids...I would just love the arguments and wheeling dealing of his to stop before I go to the nut house...I always try to say no calmly but he keeps at it till I finally get mad and yell at him...I hate myself for doing it..and try so hard not to...some days are better than others for me....but ahhhhhhhhh!! By the way my husband talks a lot will talk to any stranger...any of you with the same case??

[Velee]

I recommend getting her IQ tested FIRST- our society has gotten to the point where we want to diagnose anyone who is different.  My son was and is a big talker- he thinks quickly, is bossy, and sadly, can be obnoxious.  He also has a gifted IQ- When I learned about his talents- I started doing research to learn how to best nurture the appropriate use of his intellect.  It is common for kids with very high IQs to be big talkers, little laywers, bossy, etc.  I would ALWAYS try to support and help my child learn self-control, social skills at home BEFORE looking into a diagnosis or professional help.  I work in the MH field and sadly, because of how that system works, would avoid getting help unless things were really dysfunctional, and your daughter's behavior does not sound dysfunctional to me.  You are looking at your daughter being labeled, medicated, and worse-  Just my oppinion and good luck! : )

[CB0722]

I agree - you should make sure you're not dealing with an child with high intelligence.  My 5-year-old daughter is also different from most kids her age.  She's type A.  She talks incessantly with her peer group or adults she knows.  Expects to make friends with everyone in Kindergarten which does not necessarily happen right away.  She is also very happy and a drama queen...  She's entertaining but exhausting.  Smart can be challenging.  In her case, if there is not enough stimulation like in her pre-school last year, she starts to get anxious.  I've been noticing that late fall and winter she is subject to times of over-focusing on odd minute details and getting upset.  Her teacher said to turn her attention to something that will challenge her brain.  She's in Kindergarten now and it's much better.  She has extended K as well so there is more to do.  She is a little overly focused on friends and cliques at this very moment so I'm taking this as a sign that I need to keep her life full of sports, getting outside, learning to read, talking about math ideas, hobbies, etc.  At night, she reads to me for a penny a word (I have to reward her to get her to slow down and learn to read), then I read her a book and we talk about it, last I spell words on her back.  It seems every minute of the day has to be thought through to manage her.  I love her, and I hope she will continue to be happy and be able to manage herself when she is older.

[Cottonbunz]

I too thought that she was talking about my child, a lil boy. Hell I thought she had a video camera HIDDEN ON US! I wouldn't edit anything from the dog n strangers to school to watching the movies, random things he's says and it being an everyday/all day thing. Ppl have been saying he's a genius since he was about...2. Nd he too falls behind in class nd has to be isolated. He can play for hours alone and talks the whole time. What to do? I'm gonna loose it. Ur feelings are 100% valid. I know its years later but I had to speak on it

[canz57]

my son talked a lot, very bright, asked quezzies all the time.  Diagnosed ADD at primary school.  We chose not to medicate as he was coping fine - these kids are often exceptionally clever and cope with the disability.  However, he went on to university and wheels came off as he tried to complete a Civil Engineering degree.  Years of criticism "you could do better" etc.  He over-corrected and now has overfocussed ADD - yikes - now we want to medicate it's almost impossible.  He is suffering from extreme anxiety, minor ocd and major ADD - anxiety makes it sooo much worse.  So please medicate so they grow up with good self esteem, guide gently and love them to bits!  I could just cry for my son.

[momma1112]

I have a 5 year old and she's the same way. She constantly needs attention.  She's always trying to be the boss or talk over people.  She was in ballet and was always trying to hug the teacher, looking in the mirror not paying attention. She can be annoying and I hate saying that. I need pointers  

[barbedwire71]

Hi I can completley understand as you could have been describing my 10 year old son, who just does not stop talking.  He also has been described as very intelligent by many people, but still only running along average or below at school.  he is wuite high maintenance and rarely gets invited round other kids houses, even though he is such a special and kind boy.  also other adults I kinow clearly do  not like him, as one of my frineds sons said to him at school, my dad hates you.  This is heartbreaking for me and my husband and I just do not know what to do.!

[MomNikoo]

From all the reading I've done on the subject, most children with ADD are above average intelligence. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD with hyperactivity just before her 5th birthday. She has most all the classic symptoms - impulsive, high energy level, easily distracted, can't remember more than one instruction at a time, bossy, very egocentric, talks nonstop, no personal boundaries, interrupts, blurts out at school... She's also very creative, very smart and has a big heart. The neuro-developmentalist that diagnosed her recommended doing cross-lateralization exercises to get the brain hemispheres to work together better; giving her vitamin/mineral supps, amino acid supps, low sugar, no preservatives/dyes... in her diet. I also give her omega fatty acids in the recommended ratios, a liquid magnesium supp, and probiotics. I have her on a gluten free, low dairy, low sugar diet and no processed foods, rarely anything with preservatives like nitrates and nitrites... She is very strong willed. Academically she is doing great in kindergarten but struggles with not talking. Socially she plays pretty well but she wears on her friends when she has to direct every aspect of a play-date. She doesn't get normal social cues kids give when they don't want to play. After she recently had a bad day at school where the teacher asked her numerous times to be quiet I had heard epson salt baths might help so I'm trying that now as well. I have definitely seen improvement with her behavior since starting a year ago especially with the magnesium - if I forget to give it to her for more than a few days she has night terrors which she had regularly before I started giving it to. As you can see I'm doing everything I can in hopes to avoid medicating her. I've heard pros and cons about it. For one thing that kids sometimes need medications to deal with the side effects of the adhd meds. There are days when I just want to throw up my hands and medicate but worry that there will be irreversible negative consequences. It is a tough decision for me.

[carinasf]

My daughter is 12 years  and let me tell she talks lots I mean big time   she don't stop  she has no patience talk fast very fast  smiles lots  and very active. If I talk on the phone she as no respect. It will mom lesson mom I am talking , I say  not now and then she screams.At Scholl she is a treasure teachers loves her she is very  good in class and don't talk much , at lunch break she talks lots  her friends tells her wow breath lol . She is sweet everyone likes her, but me her father her brothers and sister are all going crazy. Anyone as a idea please help  and we love her.

[letterboxlearntoread]

Hi,
what a great place to have an open conversation. I have a little boy in class who talks constantly. His parents told me about a strategy that they use for helping him to follow instructions immediately. They call it, 'my time, your time". When he is on the teacher's or parent's time, he has to comply immediately. Otherwise, he can take his time. I wonder if this strategy would help.
I find the little boy is anxious as well, so giving him some sensory object to help him setttle really helps and the talking seems to settle.
Good luck, you are all amazing.
Letterbox learntoread

[Sangut]

Have you considered that your child is gifted? Giftedness and ADHD look very similar. Many kids today are labeled and put on medication before they are considered as gifted. Many kids who are gifted also have learning disabilities.

Teacher for over ten years.

[worrywort1982]

My child sounds identical to all of yours...just wondering though, do any of your children get very upset with themselves when they get in trouble for it?? Or when getting in trouble for other things?? My son (who is 6) will make comments like, "I don't deserve to be alive" when he gets in serious trouble. If he is in trouble for something minor he calls himself an 'idiot' and a 'stupid kid'. I by no means call him those things myself. He is VERY  dramatic so it is hard to tell if he is just saying whatever he can to get out of trouble and make me feel sorry for him. I make sure to tell him that all those things he says about himself aren't true...and he says he knows and  that he doesn't mean it. It still worries me though. In school his teacher has also noticed that he puts himself down when he gets in trouble. His teacher thinks he has adhd, I'm going to get him tested but do not want him on meds. I find that of all the symptoms of 'adhd' this one seems to be the most concerning, does anyone else have this problem???

[bhattu1974]

I may be the only person in this discussion who may have a totally opposite view to every one. When I was a kid I was the only child and was quite shy. I turned out to be an exceptionally intelligent kid, topping all the way even in college and University. But when it came to doing job/real life, the shyness means I am not a social person and my career was affected as a result of this. For over 15 years in the industry that I joined as a computer developer I am still considered the "best" developer anyone has ever met, but I haven't really grown in my career. When the phone rings in the house I get a flight-or-flight response/adrenaline rush and I try to avoid picking it up and let it go to voicemail almost everytime.

I have noticed that most managers, and other people at very high posts are people who are good talkers. Most of my classmates who were good in talking are now CEOs or CTOs or Presidents of companies, while I am still stuck. I notice that most kids from my college who were extremely good in studies became very good at taking orders and are doing their "job" pretty well, while the people who could talk have become entrepreneurs. Have you ever noticed a CEO of a company who hardly talks?

My daughter is 7 years old now and ever since she started talking at age 2 she has the same exact qualities that everyone has described in the above posts. My wife gets very annoyed at times and asked her to shut up plenty of times but due to my background I am always at odds with me wife. I am happy that my daughter is completely opposite of me. I am happy that she can talk non-stop, has the ability to invite complete strangers to our house, can ask questions that are very very smart. I don't want to curb her natural behavior even if it's a pain sometimes whether in class or at home. I want her to succeed in life. I hope that she will achieve some happiness and success in life due to her talent of speaking - whether she becomes a lawyer, a politician, a CEO or anything she wants - where she can be happy as well. I am afraid that if I curb her natural instincts now, then she may become like me. I don't want a smart kid who is good at taking orders when she grows up. I want her to be able to express her feelings to anyone by her talking talent and utilize that talent.

I am not sure if the answer to her non-stop talking is a medication rather I want her to be encouraged. I and my wife often end up disagreeing as a result and I am still unsure what's the right approach to her beautiful gift of gab. I wish there was a right answer to this.

[MeeruJane]

Hi
It was fantastic to hear your experiences. I spend my whole time feeling intense guilt about my son. I do love him, but I am frustrated with him all the time. Isn't that terrible. He starts talking at 5.30 a.m. and continues until he crashes out at 8 p.m. It isn't even as if we have conversations - it is just a non stop series of questions or what seem like aggressive comments. If I don't give him a proper answer he'll challenge me - "why aren't you talking to me", "why do you just say mm", "why is your voice cross" even if I am really trying. Some days it feels like verbal assault. He is 5 and my life has improved since he started school but I know his hasn't which adds to the guilt. We've moved schools as he was getting bullied and the new school is much better but the other children just find him "too much" of everything - too talkative, too intense, too aggressive. He is insanely competitive - he'd turn opening the post into a race - and I'm not so it is exhausting.

Part of me feels that a lot of problem is sibling rivalry. His nearly 3 year old sister is a sweetie - she smiles all the time and is therefore popular with children and adults. He has been very difficult from birth but I can manage him one to one (he still talks but we go to science shows or some of the things he is interested in and talk about those which is much better) but of course a 2 year old needs attention and he absolutely can not cope with it. Even if I've been reading to him while she amuses herself (he's struggling with reading and writing) he'll then stand between us talking or dancing about or throwing her around roughly.

I spend my whole life trying different techniques to get him to calm down / slow down / be less aggressive but he is just getting worse. Sometimes he acts as if he hates me - and himself. I feel as we need professional help but he isn't disruptive at school so maybe it is just me? They find him hard work but he is able to be quiet if interested in something - but I can't provide that level of interest routinely around the house.

Please help!

[alexsmom104]

My six year old son and husband have the same issue, and for the parents who are posting saying "oh, you should be happy they talk so much", they have no idea.  It's not just constant talking, it's constant noise, verbalizing and repetition.  It's so hard, particularly when you google "person who talks too much" and this thread and a whole lot of others about dealing with obnoxious people in the workplace who talk too much.  People are really annoyed by this behavior, and even if the family can deal with it, the outside world generally can't.  My husband is medicated (adderall (adderrall)), and it has helped some.  I feel like he can actually stop if asked, under certain circumstances, where I don't feel like my son can stop, even with repeated requests.  My son has been treated for sensory integration disorder, which is OT for the last three years, but this issue has not been dealt with directly.  I feel like it's an auditory stimulation thing, like he is constantly seeking that kind of stimulation, but I have never seen the two things related anywhere, and certainly, no information about how to deal with it.  I may decide to medicate him, but so far, I feel like he's too young.

He also has to have the last word, which seems to me is more that if he hears noise, he's going to make more noise.  so I think it's best to let him have the last word, otherwise, it will never end.  Gives you a new perspective on those annoying people at work that need to have the last word, huh?

Anyway, good luck everyone. If I ever figure anything out, I will post it here.  You all have a tough job and your patience is impressive!

[MadonnaIsMyHero]

A child that has ADHD has ZERO impulse control.  Basically the kid can't help it.  While I believe medication is necessary during school, a kid shouldn't be drugged on amphetimine 24/7.  As a result, I result to one word, iPod.  I love my son but sometimes I get really frustrated.  I was searching online to come up with come solutions for this evidentally popular subject.  He talks, sings, hums, clicks, basically just never shuts up!  Instead of getting mad, I put on earphones.  In fact, I have earphones in now.  I don't see where anybody has recommended this so I thought I would share my little secret for my son that helps me make it through the day.  

[specialmom]

My son is 8 and doesn't have adhd but sensory integration disorder.  He's recently gotten into pleasure reading-----  we direct him to the book he is reading.  Even better than the electronics (which my kids get to do as well but we are trying to move away from that.)  

We do work on impulse control because the thing to think about for a younger child is his peer relations.  Their friends can get mad at them for going on and on.  So, we work directly on conversational skills.  We do occupational therapy and these are the kinds of things that they address.  We work on voice volume, give and take conversation, reading body language as to when to wrap up a discussion, flexibility in conversation and changing course of what we are talking about based on how others respond.  We spoon feed these skills to our son and it really helps.  goodluck

[stevenh008]

My Daughter is 6 years old and likes to talk allot. She asks many questions and talks quite loud she asks things that are not that important.Eg: My husband went to the shop and my daughter says,
Mum where has dad gone. (shop I say)
What is here doing at the shop (buying some food and groceries for home I say)
Why? ( We need them I say)
What kind of things ( bits and pieces I say)

Here is just one example I have for you.
Also could someone tell me why my daughter has to give me around 4-5 kisses and hugs when I leave the house. She ends up crying if I have to tell her thats enough. She then tells my husband Mummy has gone, I miss her cant she stay home. Sometimes I am late to go to work due to the hold back.

If anyone has any information I would greatly appreciate it.

[julie202]

wow i just came online saearching the internet for something to tell me if my daughter is normal, she turns 6 next month, on feb 13 2012, then i came upon your post, her teacher keeps giving her warnings, my kid is really friendly adn sweet but has the same issues as your daughter, when i was reading your post its like u described my daughter, if u find a cure or something please let me know

[julie202]

wow i just came online saearching the internet for something to tell me if my daughter is normal, she turns 6 next month, on feb 13 2012, then i came upon your post, her teacher keeps giving her warnings, my kid is really friendly adn sweet but has the same issues as your daughter, when i was reading your post its like u described my daughter, if u find a cure or something please let me know

[me123760]

OMG my daughter is 5, has just started school and also talks her head off.

It amazes me to see so many parents talking about this as being a negative behaviour that need a CURE!. You should all be grateful that your children can talk freely and engage others, I get a little frustrated at my daughter sometimes but I know that all the questions are just her way of learning and understanding the world around her.

I see it as a sign of a inquisitive mind looking to learn and find information, kids are by nature friendly to others because we haven't burdened them with our skewed adult view of the big bad world.

Let them be kids and talk, its the best way for them to learn.

[specialmom]

Oh no,  I think being talkative is normal and cute.  I've got a talkative 6 year old.  My son who is 8, however, isn't just talkative but lacks social skills that we've had to help him with.  It is different.  He isn't just talking during class----  which actually, he doesn't do----  but will start talking to a friend without giving them a chance to talk at all, so he is basically talking AT them without taking breaths, or making eye contact.  His friends get annoyed with him.  My cherub could never irritate me . . . well, okay.  Yes he can.  But that wasn't what it was about for us.  It was more teaching him how to have a conversation and read personal cues from others for when to wrap up a long story (and I mean LONG) based on his peers wanting their turn to talk, etc.  

That is what I was referring to.  Bubbly, talkative personalities are different than those that lack social skills like my boy.  Who . . . is getting much better.  Proud of him.  

[Boltonmum]

I so love your perspective My son never stops talking from waking at 6 am til 7.30 pm (sometimes carries on in his sleep. I've always been against labeling people. One thing  I do know is without my IPOD I would have an insanity label on ME. Its a godsend it really is. He is not even bothered if no one will listen he will chat away for hours by himself giving a running commentary on anything and everything.

[Quirkymom]

My son who has just turned 3 is the same,very active,emotionally demanding and talks without a full stop!It is absolutely draining!I feel guilty for looking forward to the times that he attends Nursery because it's the only bit of respite I get! I don't think it's ADHD or ADD as I had as a child because he is a well behaved child but he talks constantly and often tells me to repeat what he has said back to him.He also makes up his his own words and gets me to repeat them back to him and I must keep saying the word back to him until he is satisfied that I have said it correctly (well in his way!).I feel as if it's all Anxiety based,he never seems satisfied with all the attention he does get.He made up a word at only 2 "Gankseal" it's still one of his favourites!I asked him what colour is "Gankseal" shape etc to try and understand what he was trying to say(in case he was mispronouncing a different)"Gankseal is red mummy,you're silly mummy!".This is from when he was only 2! He also makes strange noises like he is startled alot and even in his sleep(Tourettes typical throat noises)I had tics when I was younger.He is still pretty young so I am waiting to see if he grows out of it before I get really concerned.It would be great to hear from any other bloggers who can relate to my post.Thankyou for taking the time to read this!

[Looloohulu]

I'm an introvert and my son probably doesn't talk that much, but I'm very sensitive to too much sound, so it's a lot to me. A friend suggested he write in a journal, so he can express all that he wants to uncensored, and not always for my ears to hear. Of course, he is at an age where he can write, so probably only good for older kids.

[endocalm]

I have an eleven year old boy and he is always been like this.   He is a little more mellow now but still pretty much the same.  I was in a room with the door closed and he was in the rec room with the door closed watching 'get smart' his mouth was running non stop that I had to correct him a i could t help but feel sorry for his older sister trying to watch it also.  I am constantly reminding him of his place in conversation he is especially chatting  and interested in adult time and conversation with my friends.   I am not an expert but this is my take.  I think he feels like he is not validated   His sister and da have always talked for him or interrupted him as a child.  I have seen how he acts and sometimes I call it showboat show off behavoir only he is being annoying and obnoxious to others.  I feel it's a defensive behavior as he was picked on Alot and didn't have a great friend like he always wanted.   I have had to teach him about boundaries physical and verbal.  Now I can give him a 'look' that says change what your saying or stop talking.  Before I would quickly give him looks and he would keep on behaving I would get so frustrated as if he was pushing it or disobeying.  Now I linger eye contact until he registers and stops himself.  It is working.  
I remember him telling me how much he loved kindergarten but then school changed and he said ' I didn't get why we had to be serious all of a sudden'.  ADHD is thrown around these day to so many.  I can't believe that 40% of kids are getting these diagnosis and yet can't it just be a kid personality or character these days.  My kids is ring taught so differently from my young years.  I never could have a say in what to eat, do , watch  or go out with.  Today so many families are including their kids in everything.  To me this is normal behaviour and instead of constantly diagnosing and creating more fear and anxiety.  Let's just work with what we have and do what we can to help teach the best way we can.  I have said shut up be quiet go away- I hate myself for that but I still have a boy who loves me.  I say sorry and have explained and he gets it.  He says sorry when he does or says things. I think you asking a panel of people for advice shows what a great mom you are.
Ps
I have given my guy omegas,passion flower tincture, sisu multivitamin.  I know instantly if he hasn't taken these for two days.  

[carygirl306]

Its amazing to see how many parents feel or have been told by the teacher that their child's talkativeness is a problem. I have a six and half year old girl who is in 1st grade and can talk for hours. She has always been that way. If I had to describe her personality - outgoing, friendly, and a very happy child. She talks with a constant smile on her face (I don't know how she does that). She is a very sensitive kid. She gets tears in her eyes at the drop of the hat. Is the subject  sometimes random? Sure. But then she is just six years old! And I have noticed that that usually happens when she has run out of subjects but feels you want to hear her more. Sometimes she has come out with the most intelligent answer that even an adult would not come up with. I never felt that her talkativeness is a problem until I was told otherwise by her 1st grade teacher. Her teacher constantly sends me note saying she talks during quiet time, distract other kids by talking to them, is fidgety during circle time. Academically she is doing well specially in math. In first grade she is doing grade 3 math and reading at a level of 15-16 (which is the expected reading level at the end of the school year) and she has been reading at that level since the middle of the school year.  A kid that is doing that certainly does not have ADHD!!! The area where she lacks is writing but then that's the only area where WE have not concentrated much at home. Our whole attention was on Math cause she has shown so much interest in it. According to her teacher she lacks focus because she goes off the subject in the middle but comes back to the topic later saying something like "Anyways, bah blah blah". Huh? I am trying to figure out how to tell her to control her thoughts and I absolutely HATE that. I don't want her to shut down completely. Like someone said earlier I might try putting her in a school for gifted. I don't understand why Public school system wants to mold every kid in a same way. Every child is different and has different potential. We live in a very different day and age. At the age of 2 both my kids knew how to unlock the iPhone and go the third screen and open "Kids" folder and open an application. At that age they didn't even recognize the alphabets!!! Over talkative kid is not a problem it just means he/she has a lot on the mind and wants to express. Let them. If they are doing well academically I wouldn't worry about it.

[carygirl306]

Aww, stevenh008! She gives you so many hugs and kisses because she loves you and nothing else. My daughter does that too. Remember there will be a phase when she won't and you would do anything to have that back. She has a emotional side and she is not ashamed to show that. Its part of hermulti-faceted personality. Cherish it!

[Breeziie]

Omg you guys are really going through the everyday things I go through with my 6yr. Old son. He talks and talks and I to have to finally say SHUT UP PLEASE.. Its just so nerve racking. Its been a problem in school this whole school.. He is getting sad faces or straight face everyday because of talking and not following directions. My boyfriend says I need to discipline him sad thing is I've done everything.

[mizklownn]

I have the same situation, but with all 3 of my girls aged six, seven, and eight.  I feel so horrible because I can't time 1 minute of silence while we are together.  From the minute they wake up til after they are supposed to be asleep.  They talk over eachother and I get so frustrated.  At school, all 3 have issues with talking.  They get punished when they are asked to be quiet multiple times, I give my children attention, but they just never stop.  One of them is so loud, another always has attitude, and the third just doesn't stop with the questions, permissions, validations, random statements.  How do people handle this effectively? I need help

[mizklownn]

I have the same situation, but with all 3 of my girls aged six, seven, and eight.  I feel so horrible because I can't time 1 minute of silence while we are together.  From the minute they wake up til after they are supposed to be asleep.  They talk over eachother and I get so frustrated.  At school, all 3 have issues with talking.  They get punished when they are asked to be quiet multiple times, I give my children attention, but they just never stop.  One of them is so loud, another always has attitude, and the third just doesn't stop with the questions, permissions, validations, random statements.  How do people handle this effectively? I need help

[mnmomof1]

Seriously, we're not talking about normal chatty kids here. By constant talking, we mean CONSTANT TALKING--no break of any kind, ever, ever, ever. And the topics: why my eyebrows went up five minutes ago, why was my voice a teeny bit louder on that one word in the sentence, why the car in the book is blue (a half hour or more on just one of these topics if I let him). And ONLY topics like this. And really, really loud all of the time--not some of the time. I used to be a nanny for 5 kids under five years old. I used to be a daycare teacher for toddlers. These were a piece of cake, in retrospect and I only have one child. You would have to walk a mile in our moccasins without earplugs to really get it.

[mommy31407]

I ALSO have a 5yr old whom has been talking since she was a year old!! and w/ each MONTH she talks more and more. I do not think she has ADD but she IS very hyper.. like she got into the candy bowl! She is ALSO kind of bossy towards other kids. From the moment she opens her eyes, shes ready to go. talk, talk, talk, talk, ..... all day long, thru the night too! (she talks in her sleep). My daughter is VERY smart and if we dont CONSTANTLY keep  her busy w/ work books, cards, puzzles, etc then she gets out of control, she lashes out that no one plays w/ her (mind you we would hve just spent 3 hrs playing barbies). She loves to learn n asks LOTS of questions. Sometimes it feels like she needs to be the center of attention, she talks OVER everyone, every time. She EXTREMELY affectionate and it can be over whelming at times. I LOVE MY BABY GIRL..., but I also find myself yelling shut up or OK THATS ENOUGH ALREADY!! I feel like a monster EVERYTIME but I dont what else to do at this point. I've searched the web over n over. I've tried it all. We are very active to. We go to parks, playgrounds, shopping, etc. We do take away fun things when the "back talk" starts. The "I hate you's, your not fair's" and so on. I swear she could put the energizer bunny out of a job!! lol

[m2inmore]

I am right now watching a Charlie Rose episode and they mentioned kids who are excessively talkative or social.  They said it was called Williams disorder.

[Hollistar]

I am in the same boat as most of you. My 5 year old girl talks and talks and is always making some verbal noise all the time. Very loud all the time. Always telling her to keep it down again and again. Her dad and I find it hard to converse as she is always interupting and even when I am on the phone etc. Doesn't seem to be aware of social situations to be quiet or even just quieter. On top of this she is extremely hyper. It would be fine for a few hours but day in and day out and all the time. There is no free space for my mind to just think outside of hearing her voice. She is running and jumping up and down all the time.I love her very much, but I long for even a moment of silence and no constant movement for a few moments. I agree totally with the poster that suggested putting earphones in. This is something I also do. I put it on lower so I can still be a part of what is going on, but loud enough to feel I have a bit of my own world going on too. I listen to something that is soothing to me or feel good music that makes me smile. It doesn't help with her talking so much as it helps me feel happier and not so resentful. It seems to change the way I view her even and helps get through the days.

[MsNunes]

My four year old hasn't sat still or stopped talking since he was born. He talks more than he breaths and about anything and everything. It is driving me nuts and I cry all the time because I can't get a moment of peace. I feel like I am ready for a nervous break down every day. I am finding my self telling him to 'Shut Up' all the time and I don't want to be that Mother. Unfortunately, my husband is just as bad. I didn't know he was like that until we had our son and they both never stop and talk at the same time! I havent watched tv for years because I cant hear it. I appreciate all the comments because it makes me think maybe they hace Adhd? I am so tired of being depressed that I actually filed for a divorce just so I can have some weekends of peace. :(