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Avatar universal

my child talks TOO MUCH

I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!
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11287541 tn?1416877210
This is another parent that has NO IDEA what it's like to be in our shoes.
I spent the last, i dunno... 900 days? With my kid. Yes, he goes to school. Until 230. They are often off, though, I have him all other hours and weekends. He talks non stop, and by talking I mean SHOUTING LOUDY ALL DAY. MAMA DO YOU WANNA DO THIS WITH ME? (As I'm preparing dinner, every night) MAMA WILL YOU DO THIS? MAMA, MAAAAMAMAAA DO THIS! DO THIS MAMA! (hands me legos) "I can't, sweetie, Im making dinner, we just played for 4 hours outside, I need an hour to make dinner." ... BUT WILL YOU DO THIS? I CAN'T DO IT. "No, sweetie, I have chicken on my hands, please go to the living room, the stove is on and it's dangerous in here, you can watch TV." (He starts singing at the top of his voice) I hear a CRASH!!! MAMA I KNOCKED IT OVER. MAAAAMAAA! I KNOCKED IT OVER! HEY MOM!!! MAMA!!!! CAN I WATCH BATMAN? BATMAN, MAMA? I LIKE BATMAN! VROOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! WHATS THIS THING HERE?! CAN I HAVE THAT? I DON"T WANT DINNER. I DON"T LIKE DINNER. I DON'T WANT DINNER EVER. I DON'T LIKE IT. MAMA!!! "Charlie! I need you to be quiet!" (starts talking loudly about something I can't decipher for the next 10 min, I turn on the music and "press my tongue to the roof of my mouth," aka... SUCK IT IN for the 898th hour that week, the 10th hour that day... and it NEVER ENDS. When people wonder why I only have one?! EVERY day care teacher, and now his pre k teacher complains. Being precocious and adorable is besides the point. He's impulsive and literally CANNOT be quiet, not for a minute. not for 30 seconds, not even for 10 seconds. I am not exaggerating, it is my hell. Oh, did I mention I'm an introvert?

Are you annoyed yet? Because this is 2 min of my day, every day, from sun up to sun down. It's not cute. It's not because he's insecure. it's because he is loud and obnoxious. He did not "get it" from me or his father. He was born this way. It's the way it is. It does not mean I don't love him. I do. It does not make me a bad mother, because I'm a freaking saint. Screw all the judgmental Jennies that say otherwise. Live in my shoes a couple weeks, I bet you'll jump off a bridge or be drinking a bottle of vodka a night.
Helpful - 2
1 Comments
I salute you darling
Avatar universal
All I have to say to your post is thank you! More and more kids get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and I feel that labeling children is very detrimental and does more bad than good. Parents do need to pay more attention to their kids but that is not always the case. Nowadays it's so much easier to push pills down your kids throat than to deal with paying attention to them.
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who is dealing with this! My son is almost six and if he is home all day he can easily talk for 14-18 hours straight! It gets to the point that I'm so use to listening to him talk that sometimes I tune him out. Then he gets his feelings hurt when I'm not listening which makes me feel awful! He will talk about random things at random times and will interrupt anyone and everyone to say something that has nothing to do with anything. I've even had the trouble when daddy and I are talking he will get in the middle of us and make noises to interrupt us and if we ignore him or tell him to be quiet he gets very loud and obnoxious or will get upset or mad. I also noticed him not being able to focus on what someone tells him because he can't stop talking long enough to listen. I usually have to yell at him just do he can hear me over his own voice which makes me feel like an awful mother because I am not a yeller. I do not know how else to get him to listen or to get his attention long enough to hear what we are trying to tell him. He is a very good story teller but sometimes he has a hard time telling the difference between what he made up and what really happened. He loves to read and he cannot read without talking aloud, but can focus on a book for quite some time which leads me to believe he doesn't have adhd. I'm very frustrated trying to figure out how to get him to not talk quite so much!
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Oh holy god, this is me, I have a 5 and half year old girl, she is smart, funny and loves people!, I love her dearly..but my god she loves attention, whether that means talking to us or herself or even random people on the street, she has no fear, she is constantly on the move and prances around like a maniac saying "Look at me look at me!!" every day!!! it is driving us insane! my daughter finds it hard to hold any conversation as most of the time she talks over people and then they loose interest in her, she then doesn't understand why nobody wants to be her friend?? she interrupts others, my husband and I can not get a word in EVER! She fails to do what she is told and often drifts off into her own little world, she actually can not sit still and chill out, this is not her, trying to concentrate on say a Movie, a book or even a game she would last 3-5 minutes then we have to change, as a parent I have tried everything, it has to ADHD, as I don't know any other cause of this, I wont put her on medication, as I fear this may make things worse, or worse still bring out another side to my daughter, I feel every parents pain on here as I feel as a parent I have failed my daughter, but everyone must remember its nobody's fault, these things happen, and having support I think is the best cure for this. Nothing will change your love for your child. x
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Oh holy god, this is me, I have a 5 and half year old girl, she is smart, funny and loves people!, I love her dearly..but my god she loves attention, whether that means talking to us or herself or even random people on the street, she has no fear, she is constantly on the move and prances around like a maniac saying "Look at me look at me!!" every day!!! it is driving us insane! my daughter finds it hard to hold any conversation as most of the time she talks over people and then they loose interest in her, she then doesn't understand why nobody wants to be her friend?? she interrupts others, my husband and I can not get a word in EVER! She fails to do what she is told and often drifts off into her own little world, she actually can not sit still and chill out, this is not her, trying to concentrate on say a Movie, a book or even a game she would last 3-5 minutes then we have to change, as a parent I have tried everything, it has to ADHD, as I don't know any other cause of this, I wont put her on medication, as I fear this may make things worse, or worse still bring out another side to my daughter, I feel every parents pain on here as I feel as a parent I have failed my daughter, but everyone must remember its nobody's fault, these things happen, and having support I think is the best cure for this. Nothing will change your love for your child. x
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
I so agree with you Lin76.  Thanks for this post because I believe this is part of the reason my daughter talks so much with me.  As a single mom, I'm practically ALWAYS doing something, cooking, cleaning, getting us ready, laundry, ironing, driving, working, etc etc etc. and it leaves little QUALITY TIME for she and I after school/homework.  While she always has my attention, it isn't the attention she's really needing.  I do notice that I'm always doing something or on my phone/computer or the above.  She needs just me all to herself.  I also think that her volume has a lot to do with that attention seeking as well.  She saying, "Mom, I need you to hear what I'm saying to you."  I will be sure to make more Mommy Daughter time for just us chilling out together, not really doing much but giving her all of my attention.  The killer is that my 7 year old has verbalized this desire and need by saying, "mommy, can we just go for a walk together, just you and me, no one else?"  She was expressing this as young as 4 years old.  Bright girl who definitely expresses herself.  I haven't listened enough. We had a mommy and me day all day yesterday at home initiated by her.  Thanks again!
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Sounds exactly like my 6yr old son, who started at a young age as well. I also find myself getting way more frustrated than i want to be and sometimes say Shut Up too....i have found when i say 'mommy's ears need a rest' i get a few minutes of peace without feeling horrible for saying Shut Up.

About a year ago my son was diagnosed with mild autism and seems to stem from that. Most people think anti-social for autism but it's not always the case. It can be tbe opposite extreme as well. My son seeks out social interaction. The key is that they don't get social ques...so have no idea they are
in someone's space or annoying.

One doctor put it this way...he has all the social skills needed to function in society but he gets in his own way due to the autism. So skills there but have ro tap into them differently than others.
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3 Comments
I am so relieved to know that I am not the only one. I have been feeling horrible for feeling like I dont want to be around me step son. He is 9 with a diagnosis of ADHD and concerta has not worked so far. My step son lives with us full time because his mother is not mentally well. I know that what he has been through in his life definitely contributes to his own mental issues. He is considered a gift learner so he has a very high IQ and while I love him. I am about to loose my mind because he never stops talking. If he is not talking he is following me around and making sound effects or just has a answer for everything. He does not take no for an answer well either.  I have never told him to shut up. I could never do that but sometimes I want to shout it. I bear brunt of it because I am his primary parent as my husband works a lot.  It starts in the morning when he comes down stairs and within 20 mins I have had enough, I get a break while at work then it picks up right after I pick him up from day care. He is also not making friends because other kids are telling him that he is annoying. While that breaks my heart, I can kind of see where they are coming from because he is probably doing the same thing to them.  I have tried telling him that people need quiet time, his soccer coach told him that people appreciate people who don't always have something to say, he takes non verbal quest but then asks if he is being annoying and says something like I know I am but I just like to keep pointing out the obvious to everyone even though I know it's annoying.  Thanks for letting me vent. We have another doctors appointment for medication adjustment coming up so hopefully something will give or I might just end up in counseling.
It's good that this forum is here for people to vent and share experiences.  It helps others to read them, and feel not alone.  Of course a few judgmental commenters have popped in who feel so superior to everyone that they feel entitled to dish out their own narrow opinion as gospel.  That wasn't nice to see a  judgemental air in those comments, but they were few.  Most people have shared their experiences good and bad, along with what has and has not worked for them.  I found it wholesome.  
I would imagine with more parents at home with kids and being told to stay at home without outlets, this will be a rough couple of weeks or longer of this.  
Avatar universal
Just a thought, see if your son will write a story. My son is almost six and is a huge story teller. I have found that if I make him elaborate on a story by asking specific questions about what he is telling me, he will actually stop talking for a few seconds to think about what he is going to say. A few seconds may not be much but it's def a relief for a short time!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My ten yr old is just like this ,I don't know if he has adhd but he doesn't stop talking even in school talks a lot or winds people up.he has two younger brothers and he either interrupts them when they are talking or winds them up when nothing else to do.am struggling what to do as it causes a lot of arguments in the house, he is ok when we are out and he busy but still talks constantly.please can someone give me some tips.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This could be me.  My 9 year old does have ADHD, and we have been able to curb a lot of her issues.  But the talking is driving us crazy and it isn't the constant talking anymore, it is the talking whenever our attention is else where.  Could be walking through the grocery store "mom, mom, mom, mom", checking out at any store, she can be quiet up until the clerk talks to me or I am entering my credit card info,  if her TV show is on, she is silent, the minute ours is on, she is talking non-stop.  My husband will get up and leave our conversations, because she cannot stop talking AT us not with us, but AT us.  She also knows "everything", she doesn't have any close friends, she makes friends easily as she isn't shy, but she doesn't have any close friend, because of the bossiness, that comes across with her behavior.  It breaks my heart, but I am at a loss as to how to make this work for her.  She is an only child, so she is our main focus. She goes to a private school, and during the summer she is at camp most days, so she has lots of socialization.  Last year her teacher was a parent with a child that had ADHD, so it was great having someone advise, us who has been there.  But my daughter had a desk by herself, not in one of the groups, because she couldn't stop talking with her groupmates.  Nervous about the new year and what it my bring.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just read a Facebook post concerning Magnesium and ADHD.  I strongly believe this is a huge factor in my child. Keep a journal of what they eat....Stress, injuries unhealthy diet and daily pollutions deplet Magnesium.  This post sounds just like my 7yr old son.  
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Avatar universal
I just got back from a parent teacher conference at my 5 year old sons preschool.

I have ADHD, its a strong genetic trait in my family. That said I do NOT think my son has ADHD or ADD:

He talks ALL the time and like others here have expressed he will talk to anyone about anything and in detail! He has an amazing memory and can tell accurately detailed stories of  things we did when he was 2. Its amazing. He has a wonderful vocabulary.

The problem is it is non-stop and he is taking over in his class. We live in Sweden and the class is ages 3-6 (start of kindergarten) and everyone, kids included are exhausted by him! He can´t seem to control his umpulsive talking. In group he answers every question before anyone has a chance even when the teacher directs the question to a specific child.

Besides this he also wants to know when things are happening, by whom, where, when, how for every minute of the day. The absolut worst thing you can tell him is "we shall see" or "I dont know exactly just yet". That opens up a whole world of frustration for everyone involved! He takes the "Are we there yet" to a whole new level and a daily, even hourly event. He easily makes friends but then he talks them to death and wants to control each and every asspect of what they are playing. His friends are beginning to purposefuly choose activities he doesnt enjoy to get a minutes peace.

How can I help him? How can his teachers help him? We are all at a loss!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Omg I am experiencing this now with my 4year old daughter she will not let up and its gotten so bad that she now lies to get the attention on her and I'm pulling my hair out as to why my daughter would be doing this. She lies talks too much, and she's always always always in the middle of someone's conversation. I've tried to discipline her only to find myself in more of a pickle because when she's dropped off at the babysitter house she tells how she's been disciplined and everything else that goes on in my house I'm like completely scared because its a invitation to strangers to see me and what time I'm home and etc. Its annoying and frustrating because I'm all out of answers and need help like yesterday on how to help her with what to say and when to say it. I know something's are just naturally grown out of but over the years its becoming more and more untamable and its really spinning out of control and I dont want to be the struck parent and take fun away from her cause first thing first she is still a child I just want her to know a child's place. Someone anyone please help me..... thank you
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Avatar universal
She's just a genius.
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Avatar universal
Your resolution is the closest thing to perfect I have heard. I just told my 8 year old boy who talks all the time (just like his mommy) that he has super powers that he has to control or its used for bad. I now have him write down what he wants to say when its quiet time because his words are important but he cant interrupt others. Then I read what he wrote. He wants to help teach others so while they are working he starts talking. If he can still talk (writing) then maybe this is the right tool. He then also learns to express what he is thinking to paper...win win?
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973741 tn?1342342773
I have my own kids and own challenges.  I'm sorry you singled me out to say I don't have a clue.  LOL  But perhaps we just don't get each other.  

Perhaps your son has a developmental issue that causes him to have poor impulse control.  My son has sensory integration disorder and this can be associated with that.  We've done occupational therapy which was very helpful.  My son also participates in many things like competitive swimming which helps regulate his nervous system.  And he is now almost 11 and I realize that he'll soon look to me to be the LAST person on the face of the earth he wants to talk to.  I dread that whereas you are looking forward to it.  

We're just different.  I would guess my house has had over the years an equal amount of nonstop chatter to yours.  I have rules in place that involve my being able to say 'let's take a break and you do X while I do Y and then we'll talk again."  If you think I 'don't understand'---  remember, I have a child with a developmental delay that presents a lot like adhd.  I just see it differently than you and handle it differently.  

Wishing you luck and sorry your child bothers you so much.  I don't judge other moms.  I feel bad that they are miserable.  
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Avatar universal
I am in the same situation. My son is turning 4 this November. He started talking non-stop when he was 3 and never stops. He can do monologue of the book we read few times like the cat in the hat and 10 other books or the lines in the movie we just watch. He will quote lines in the books and use it in real life situation in the right context. He usually doesn't listen to me but when I quote his book I get a response. Now that he is turning 4, he answers my questions but once in a while avoid it and completely which off and talk about other things. He is also extremely social with other kids and gets attached very quickly and cry when its time to say goodbye. His teacher finds him distractive in class because he will sing and talk loudly to himself mostly non-sense. And she thinks he intimidates his peers when he makes angry face but he is just a boy with 10 facial expression per second. The assistant teacher label him as naughty :( which I think is not right. He is a sweet, loving but stubborn boy who has his own mind and very intelligent. I am angry that they are beating out a happy expressive boy out of him. and I hate myself when sometimes I think that there is something wrong with him. Me and my husband is thinking of homeschooling but then he will lose the social interaction with other kids.
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Avatar universal
Thank you! I was getting appauled  at all the posts by the poor parents that have to put up with they talkative child. Shut up is not a word in our house. Instead of complaining about it, why not try to see the positive in a possibly gifted child. It is a little disturbing to read parents write that their own kids are annoying, or how about the post that said she was going to get a divorce to have a free weekend... Really??? My child is very talkative, constant questions, does not miss a beat, very energetic and excited about most everything. My goal is to keep her spirit and love for people and life, not squash it. She needs to be kindly redirected or explained about respect and listening is also important. It is hard work, I get that. But, telling your child to shut up is not going to help anyone. Get them involved in sports or any activity possible... Constructive energy. Help their self esteem. Not everyone is going to fit in a conforming mold, that would be a pretty boring world. I am far from a perfect parent. But, I ran into this forum to try to find some suggestions to guide my talkative shining star. I will not allow the school system or an impatient teacher put her in the bad category. She wants to learn everything, how can that be a bad thing.
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9118730 tn?1401800652
My child is 5 and she is the same. She talks endlessly, have a hard time staying still in class and constantly talks to her classmates. Her teacher has almost sent her out of the class one time because she was being disruptive. She is very smart though.
I feel so frustrated but I don't think that I will allow her to get medicated.
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Avatar universal
Wow!  It is really a relief to know that I'm not alone.  I definitely understand the frustration all of you are going through.  I go through the moments of feeling like the worse parent ever, but know that I'm not.  I have to regularly use the words "shut up" because my 7 year old daughter very rarely responds to "be quiet," "stop talking," "take a time out," or "let's have quiet time."  She isn't a non stop talker, but does talk "too much."  The other issue i have is that because she wants to talk she doesn't listen well, mostly to me, but also sometimes at school or in other lessons and instruction will have to be repeated to her because she's too busy trying to say whatever is on her mind.  Once she's focused, she's absolutely wonderful at whatever is being taught.  She learns extremely fast and always has.  I receive the same responses from every instructor she's ever had, such as "oh my gosh I'm so impressed with how fast she learns and how smart she is, she will excel very quickly, BUT she likes to talk a lot which is an interruption...when she focuses she's fine..."  I've been working on this with her since she was 3 1/2 yo when she started her first extracurricular activity, Tae Kwon Do.  She did excel fast and the instructor learned to be firm with her per my permission and it helped very quickly.  By age 5 the same was being said by her ballet instructor, gymnastics teacher at age 6.  She turned 7 this month and began Mandarin Chinese language camp over the last 3 weeks and they are saying the same things.  My daughter attends an international dual language school and started learning French there at age 4 (4k) and is entering the 2nd grade in the Fall.  She is already fluent in French, is in the accelerated reading program in French and English at school and does very well all around in school other than talking too much.  Her teachers are very good with handling the situations themselves as I'm a very involved parent where I communicate with the teachers early in the the school year to let them know what to expect and that it's something we've been working on since she began school there in 4k.  I keep communication open during the school year and have tried every disciplinary method and reward system possible (other than buying gifts - I don't believe in rewarding monetarily for expected behavior).  It has been difficult, but having teachers who know how to handle it better helps.  I do think in part that she can't help it as she gets talking honestly from me (I'm a serious talker/social butterfly and her dad is a social butterfly as well, although she's never met him - hereditary for sure).  She also has the need to pay waaaay toooo much attention to other kids and not herself.  Her 1st grade English teacher thinks that she gets bored easily in school and thinks that the rules somehow don't apply to her since she already knows how to do the work, she then begins helping the other kids (and that's the teachers jobs) instead of focusing on herself.  I have done research as well on ADD and ADHD and I don't believe she fits all of the characteristics, but it is supposed to be a diagnoses that is made after careful consult between all - teachers, pediatrician, therapist, school counselor and parent.  I have a 13 year history as a social worker and like some of you, am concerned about the labeling and the diagnoses sticking with her throughout her lifetime.  Medication is not an option for her at this time.  I do know that it is said that certain foods, environment, etc can alter behaviors as well.  I am choosing to keep my child as focused and occupied as possible.  She will stick with the Chinese lessons a few days per week, she has swim lessons once per week (but we go swimming at least 2 other times per week), she has piano lessons once per week and  has to practice throughout the week, and she will continue gymnastics again in the fall.  I will say that all that she is involved in, she requested so she is not being forced to do anything she doesn't want to do.  She is a very ambitious, competitive and determined girl.  It is also found that many people with ADHD are very intelligent, their minds just move a bit faster than the rest of them.  My daughter is a bit fidgity at times and I ask her why she has to move and she can't tell me, but she does make the effort to stop.  Keeping her busy doing work books at home, reading, drawing, watching an age appropriate movie/family show all keeps her very calm/focused.  Spending quality calm time with her watching a movie, cooking, playing a board game, having a tea party, soduko, and word searches together also really helps.  She is a joy other than not listening most of the time.  She sleeps and eats really well and is very sweet, comical, thoughtful and Quite talented but my biggest issue with my daughter is that she is dishonest a lot about things that simply don't matter.  There is never a reason to tell a lie, however a parent can understand a lie because the kid thinks they may get into trouble, but my girl is dishonest too often for absolutely no reason even some times making up stories to me or others.  It's weird and doesn't happen often but waaay too often for me as lying is a major issue for me re: anyone.  The killer is that even when I tell her that I know she's lying she continues on and may even lie to try to cover up the first lie.  She has strong will out of this world in soooo many different ways it's impressive, unbelievable, and can be scary (lying trait).  Does anyone else have the dishonest issue?  
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973741 tn?1342342773
Being talkative is not a symptom of aspergers.  the speech patterns typical of aspergers are very noticeable.  Many kids just talk too much with no disorder at all and some with things like impulse control.  But that is different than aspergers.  Aspergers kids talk in the 'little professor' way and have a couple of topics they talk about rather than just talking.  

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1 Comments
Not necessarily there is a wide range on autism spectrum....my son is exactly like tripplebright's child and has mild autism aka aspergers
Avatar universal
Your child is exhibiting symptoms associated with Aspergers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
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973741 tn?1342342773
YOU are definitely on the right track.  the physical activity is key.  Good luck and again, you seem to be headed in the right direction.  peace
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9118730 tn?1401800652
My child is the same. She talks endlessly that there were times that I feel really frustrated and at my wits end. But I would not consider giving her any medications. Instead I am thinking of getting her engaged on more physical activities such as swimming, dance or maybe taekwondo.
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