my nine year old will not sleep through the night

Hi there I must tell you I am at my wits end.  My nine year old son will not sleep through the night.  It started a while ago probably 2-3 months ago, we moved him into the bigger bedroom.  His bedroom is directly across the hall from my room.  I have changed my bedroom around so he could see me when he is in bed and that still does not make a difference.  I have started letting him fall asleep on the couch and will wake him to go to bed when I go around 10 p.m. This was working for a while but then recently this doesn't even help.  He wakes up around midnight and will go to the bathroom and then come into my room to tuck him back in.  It doesn't stop there.  He does this probably twice more in the night and around 1 or 2 am will start saying he can't sleep.  He continues this until the whole house is awake and angry.  He can sleep if I lay with him or if his stepfather moves to the couch and he comes into our room.  He says he is not afraid of the room. We have lived in this house for almost 15 years so it is not new to him.  We have offered him to move back into the littler room that our grandson sleeps in and he doesn't want to.  When he goes to his father's house he doesn't do this nor when I work night shift, he sleeps all  night here, the problem seems to be me.  I have tried the reward system and that doesn't work either.  We have cousilling and he says it is a waste of time because he is going to wake me up regardless.  It almost fells like a  habit he can't break.  In the morning when my husband and I are  so exhausted we fight and argue over the stupid things, he wants to sleep on the couch until he has to get up for school.   I have even tried lavender baths, gravol and benedryl not as a habit with the medication but those do not seem to work either. I am about ready to try having him sit up all night and not let him sleep and maybe that will break the cycle.  I don't want to be constantly angry at him as his behavior toward others most of the time is negative. Please any advice will be appreciated.

[RockRose]

What would happen if you allowed him to sleep all night on the couch?