This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting children (age 6-12), including physical development, handling school & classes, emotional development, cognitive development, and games and activities.
My 11 year old step son is a major LIAR and jt makes me sick to watch. He is a good kid but lately everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. Even the tiniest things that he knows we already know the truth. His real mom and grandma font see it or care. Even if they did see it they wouldnt do anything about it. Thats probably where he learned it from! His dad and I have been punishing him by taking away his games and TV time. We have talked to him about it and explained lying is very serious and will not be tolerated in our house. We have tried telling him that people can tell when u lie so much and your friends and family will learn u cant be trusted and eventually wont believe a word u say even when u r telling the truth. Nothing has worked! Im just wondering how others have dealt with this. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
I have a 12 year old who tends to lie too! It'll be about anything, chores, when he had school work, or what he did or said to his sisters. I hate to say this but i think he learned it from his dad. His dad is a compulsive liar (we're divorced and separated for over 11 years) he takes my son on the wknds and before when I'd ask my son how his wknd was or what did you do this wknd my son would say dad said not to tell or I'll get in trouble, he'd even pribe him not to tell me. Now this wasn't me wanting to be nosy, I just wanted to know how his wknd was. Making small talk with my son! For the lies he does tell he gets tv tooken away, bed time after dinner, loses privileges and even stays home when i go out and do errands and such. He hates staying home when i leave so he is learning to change his behavior. I seem to be constantly repeating myself to him about his lies but as parents we have to be repetitive about anything it seems.
Yes, he lies about anything and everything. For instance if I ask him why his socks are under the dinner table? please put them in the laundrey. ”Uh, I didnt put them there”. ”Um, they r ur socks and u had them on before supper but not after. Yes you did put them there, please put th em away”. He will continue to deny it until I take his ds away. Thats a small one that just exploded. Then there are arguments about if he did his homework. We cant check because he goes to school where his mom lives anf she doesnt check but we make him bring it if he has . He will tell us he did it already or is doing good in that class only to find out later he is REALLY NOT and never gets his homework ! He will keep going even after he knows we have him caught. He isnt even tactful enough to try to blame anything on his 6 year old brother, which im thankful for, but its like its no big deal. He just lies because to him, its a part of life. We have tried to give him easy outs. For instance when he is in the middle of a lie and we have him caught, we tell him ”if u would just come clean right now and stop this lying you will not get in to trouble. we will forgive u and forget about the whole thing” Doesnt make a difference. He will keep lying. Ive recently decided to completely ignore him and if I find something he needs to do I will skip the communication and simply go up to him and tell him to give me his game. If he asks why ill tell him because you ”left ur socks under the table again and you will lie about it anyway and need ur ds taken away for it” (or whatever it might be about). Is this taking it too far?
He feels the sane but has a hard time focusing on it. About half the time I have to point it out to him and he seems surprised, like he just never notices. Usually he will say something like ”hey u have to stop that lying. I dont feel sorry for u. U deserve to have ur ds taken away. ”after I have already punished him. So he is pretty good about it, even if he is focused on other things,sometimes he is,consistant and we seem to be on the same page. I like it when he picks up on it as its happening so im not always the bad guy! But like I said its about half the time.
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