I would say that since you mention she is your 9 year old daughter that you could NOT have the 'boyfriend' over at all. Ever. If you believe that she wants to have intercourse, then perhaps you need to take her to a psychologist to explore why at such a young age. Perhaps she has been molested which would be such a horrible tragedy for her.
But as a parent, don't we make the rules? This certainly isn't out of your ability to put an end to immediately.
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