My daughter is almost 16 years old. She is tardy at school and often skips classes (especially on Friday afternoon). I have also caught her smoking marijuana twice in her bedroom. I expect she also has tried alcohol. I am divorced from her mother whom she sees once or twice a month. I believe her mother suffers from a mental health illness - our daughter was diagnosed with severe social anxiety when five years old. What I'm wondering - could her behaviour have anything to do with this social anxiety? If so, what would I ask her? I get so upset when we discuss these things and I don't know where to turn. Her younger brother is fine. Help -
It sounds like you aren't giving up, you just need to know what to say. Go with her to a family therapist, and then when you're in the room with the therapist, open up. Say you love her and are worried, and that you don't know the right way to discuss these things without getting upset, and so you want to have the discussion with the therapist right there. Then talk from your heart, as her father. Don't dump your vulnerabilities on her, but do talk from your love for her and your concerns. At the very least, you'll have her attention.
Dealing with an out of control teen is rough. She's old enough to know what she is doing is wrong and I would make sure she gets that message loud and clear. It's gonna be hard, but lay down the law. Is there a way that you can make sure that she goes to school? At this point in her life it is very important that she graduates from high school and you need to help her get there, even if that means sending her to a boarding school or reporting her truant. Tell her that if she wants to act like an adult you are going to treat her like one. And there are drastic consequences for breaking the law. Anyways, I know it might seem harsh, but that is what I would do. It's so important to learn how to function in the real world and learning how to be a responsible student lays a good foundation for that.
Ok ok ok......yes and no it could be the social problems or it could be several other things like who she hangs around weither she thinks its cool or just trying new things cause ur her dad she wont tell u as much cause she don't think u will understand which is not always true most single fathers understand more then fathers still with the mother but if u really want her to talk try taking her to her favorite restaurant and talking to her like u are one of her friends and joke with her and let her know ur her friend but have to still be a father too and that she can talk to u about anything
Trust me on this....I went to therapists when I was younger for the same problem and it just made it worse. They put me on medication that I didn't need. Watch who her friends are. I had bad friends that influenced me to join in and I gave in. I finally realized that it was wrong after I lost my first child due to drugs and alcohol. It changed my life, I lost my house, car and my family's respect. I finally gained it back. I did it so much that I lost 3 years of my life (couldn't remember a thing). For the social anxiety, I am not too sure how to answer that one. But with my experience I sure learned alot in life and what type of people to stay away from. Now I am alcohol and drug free and I didn't need help to quite. I wish you luck on trying to help her out.
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