Children that arent yours

Whats the best way to discipline kids that aint yours? i gotta couple running around that arent mine. they are very hyper. dont listen to me. how cud a man even try to spank a kid that isnt his? im not the father. what can i do to get them to listen

[ChristineMP]

What is your relationship to these children? Friend, neighbor, uncle, step-parent/significant other of their biological parent? Do these children live with you?

[pittfan17]

Step. and yes live together

[AnnieBrooke]

You have to ask the mother, and to work out an agreed approach.  A stepdad is not a dad, and kids often don't accept him as any kind of authority figure, just as some kind of a glorified hanger-on in their mom's life.  (You shouldn't be spanking in any case.)

Why are the kids hyper?  Is this a new arrangement and they are not used to it, or has it been going on a long time?  If your girlfriend is a good mom, she should be able to give you some pretty good direction about what approaches should work and what she wants you to do if the kids are being wild.  (If she's a bad mom, um, exactly why are you with her, again?)

[kme17]

why is anyone questioning the parenting skills here? if you are on good terms with the kids bio dad then you him mom and kids all need to sit down and talk and listen to each other. then take it from there.. good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I assume the girlfriend is a good mom.  But there is not enough info on the post to answer the question, so I was asking for more detail.  Her boyfriend is complaining that the kids are hyper and don't listen to him and is wondering how a man could try to spank a kid that isn't his.  Why are they so hyper, is this a new living relationship and they haven't settled down?  If so, the mom can probably manage it.  If it's been going on a long time, then more work is called for, and I agree that both the mom and the dad should be in on the conversation so the adults are all on the same page.

[ChristineMP]

FYI this poster posted on another forum (Anger Management) about problems he is having with his lady's temper...

I advise family counciling based upon those other posts...if mom is unpredictable as implied by his posts on the other forum, the family will need help.

[margypops]

I would say that no one should hit a child whether they be step parent or bio parent it is an angry negative reaction that a child will copy ..If either of you have anger problems it would be a good idea to get some counseling ...

[margypops]

Sorry you also asked the best way to discipline I don't know the age but I suggest time outs for bad behavior, sit them on a chair or stairs, they stay there until they are sorry and good .,if they come off the chair you put them back, quietly with patience.With older children you take away a privilege like TV or PC or something they like to do until they stop the behavior.Be consistant, quiet no anger,just firm ...