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How to transition myself into my 5 yr old daughters life.
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How to transition myself into my 5 yr old daughters life.

Hello. I recently have found out that I have a beautiful five year old daughter.  Her mother and I were together for two years and then she and I went our own way.  I recently had come across a photo of my daughter and she looks just like me when I was her age.  Her mother has been with the same person since she and I broke up.  He has raised my daughter for the past five years since she was born. I want to have a paternity test taken, which I am certain she is my daughter.  I don't want to miss out anymore.  I also don't want to cause chaos in their home.  How do I go forward with this and how would I transition myself into her life?  Thank you for any advice you can provide.
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535822_tn?1389452880
i am assuming that as you require a paternity test that you havent been paying for the upbringing of this child,child support, so I suggest you start there and help with the burden of financially bringing up a child, that would make a great in road in taking responsibility on for her,it is great that you have found each other, and I believe all children benefit from having both parents,when possible, in their lives.Her Mom sounds responsible as she has stayed with the same person, and I guess he has brought up your child as his own.The best scenario would be for you to make friends with the childs Mom and Step'Dad' work out a plan where you get to see her every other weekend , you provide child support, .The child here is the most important part of it, if you can all get along all the better .I wish you well I like the sound of what you say it is positive ... this is a lucky child who will have a lot of love in her life ..Good Luck.
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1100763_tn?1264632098
You are one in a million, She would be lucky to have you in her life. So many fathers who have children and know about them don't take any responsibility for them. They run a way.  I think or I would hope that the mother would love for her child to know that her real father loves and cares for her. This does not mean that the man that raised her has to step a side,I think that there is room for every one to love this little girl. In today's world there are so many different family structures. If she is your daughter,the best thing to do is get some professional  advice on how best to move forward. Have you talked to you ex  since you brook up? How did you come a cross the picture? Good luck and please realize that it might not happen over night .It will take some time for every one involved.This is not going to be easy but it will be worth it in the end.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello. Thank you for your post.  Since my first post. I sent her mother an email which that is the only way of communication.  I am not currently pay nor providing for her.  I will once it has been determained.  There is no question in my mind that she is not my daughter.  I just want to take the proper steps to protect all parties involved.  I respect her mother and step dad.  I received and email last night from my daughters mom, she has agreed to meet with me. She would like to meet before going forward with the testing.

My ex and I haven't talked for several years, five years to be exact. I seen her a few weeks ago at a local store where she works, She waited on me, I wanted to ask her a million in one questions and I believe she did too.  Both smiled and said take care and once again went our own way.  

I came across my daughters photo on facebook.  I couldn't believe my eye! I only wish I would have known or seen a photo sooner.  I know it won't happen over night. I don't blame her mother for keep her from me, that is what she thought was best.  

I moving forward from this point on. I just want to know my daughter... to be able to take her to the zoo, and have her know my family. Spend time with her!  I want her mother and her step dad to be apart of this process.  The three of us have to move forward put our past behind us and be friends for the sake of our daughter.  

Will let you know how the meeting went once I hear from her mother.
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1100763_tn?1264632098
I wish you all the luck in the world.

Do you have a wife or girlfriend at this time? If so how does she feel about this ?

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