Parenting: For Fathers Community
Way too stressed!!
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Way too stressed!!

Just this evening I realized I now have a problem continuing single father duty. I am stressed beyond, way beyond. My daughter is 7 going on 8 in a few months. Just recently learned my ex wife, the birth mother of my daughter, got fired from her part time job for racking up too many tardy points. She's now not paying her daughter's school and I am footing the bills for both of us. My ex is deaf mute.  Then on top of that she is thinking of moving out of her parent's home into her date's house. They don't want to get marry and just live together. I had no problem with my daughter visiting her mother at her grandparent's house, but I don't feel it is proper for my daughter to visit her mother on weekends and staying at her date's home. I get up everyday at 445 am and then wake up my daughter at 530. We are out the door at 6 to 615. She at school between 615 to 625. I am on the highway between 630 to 640. Then I start work at 815 until 4pm. I go to pick up my daughter after work between 520 to 540. Then we are normally home at 545 to 6 pm. I commutes 1-1/4 to 1-1/2 hours each way to/from work on a good day. During bad winter storms I can easily be on the road for at least 4 hours. We been doing this for over two years now and I believe it is finally catching up on me and my daughter. I feel with the issues with my ex just compounded the situation for me. I am also having great difficulty getting my daughter to sleep in her own bed. She sleeps with her mother when she goes to visit her. Lately I have been aggitated very easily and frustrated. I realized I've yelled at her and then I couldn't sleep because I felt like a terrible father, like a 'monster' for doing that. I am very angry at myself for doing that because I've never done that before and I know I need to do something about all this. It's crazy. I just wish that I could find a job locally where I live to cut back my commute time and allow me more quality time at home with my daughter and to allow her sleep in longer and stay in school for just 8 to 9 hours as oppose to 11 to 12 hours she put in now. I'd be willing to take a reduced pay to trade for a job locally. I am desperated. It is not easy asking for help because of my deafness and the hardship with easy access to communicating my 'cry for help' to assist us, me and my daughter. Sometimes I feel I am becoming this 'monster' that I am no longer worthy to be my daughter's father anymore and that she deserves someone better than me. My ex cannot be counted on. Trust me, I know my ex. My daughter is normal, she can hear fine and knows some sign language.  What am I to do at this point? I know something gotta be done before I reach the 'breakdown' point. I am worried at this point for one other reason....since I am hyper sensitive I am worried my body's immune system will go into autoimmune because it has happened twice, second time around was worst. So far no symptoms. My daughter and I never asked for all this. I divorced my ex because I caught her with her 'old flame' from high school and gave her the ultimatium choice, him or family. She chosed 'him'. He dumped her some 3 months later after we divorced. I was very angry to see all that happened, not to me, but for my daughter. I am tired now. Please help if you can. Whew! Trust me, I've prayed hard and gone to church with my daughter and boy.....not getting any easier. Blessings.
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535822_tn?1389452880
I am so sorry I can feel you are having a really hard time,it seems you are trying to focus on too many things ,no wonder you are stressed with the long hours .Firstly I think that you have to focus on whats best for your daughter and if your, ex has a home for her some shared responsibility may be a good thing, who ever she is living with, I can see that you are having a hard time with that , children do need both parents in their lives where it is possible .I think your idea of finding a job nearer home is a good thing so that is something to focus on getting her out of the door at 5-30 am must be very hard for you both.It actually doesnt matter that you didnt ask for this , it is what it is now and you hope it will get better so you need to begin there  Now how do you make it better for you and her. Allow her to go to her Mom s and share the days more so that the child also is part of her moms life, see about getting that job nearer home it will ease the burden on your life ..Remember nothing stays the same , your child will get older, focus on the positive things you have ,I know thats hard when you are down, it is your thoughts making you feel worse, so when you feel the negativity creeping up,try to switch it off,.get busy ,ground yourself. Make sure you get some time out at weekends to relax and have some visits with family or friends ..I sympathise with you ,I can see you are doing your best for her..
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