homosexuality young boy

[lpinto3669]

My stepson is 12 years old. He is very sweet, kind, loving and thoughtful.I have a daughter with his father. He is the best big brother and he loves her so much. He buys her things with his own money and she really loves him.He used to love school and learning until he went to middle school. Now he hates school. Kids are always teasing him and calling him Gay.His quality of schoolwork has suffered and he says he is sick a lot so he does not have to go to school.

I am very concerned about him. I love him very much. He says he knows he is loved by myself,my husband and my daughter.He says he hates his mother(where he technically lives).He just talks a lot about how he just wants to be loved.My question, concern is the possibility of him being homosexual. Not that we would feel any different towards him at all. But his two uncles on his mother's side are.I don't really have anyone to talk to about this..Is there any signs or anything I can do to help him anymore than I am already. I go out of my way for him to feel special and do things for him that his mother will not. Any help would be appreciated.

[AHP84]

I'm confused why you think there's a possibility that he's gay. The only things I see in your post are that he's verbally bullied at school and he hates his bio mother, which would make almost any kid in their pre-teens self conscious and maybe depressed. But not an automatic diagnosis of being homosexual.
At any rate, I think how you are handling it is fine--just letting him know he's loved and supported no matter what. He sounds like a great kid and wonderful big brother!
I think you maybe should look into counseling for him, as his grades are dropping and he wants to avoid school. Who can blame him for not wanting to go if he's relentlessly picked on by other kids?
Counseling could help him to learn to deal with confidence and self esteem issues and setting boundaries with his peers. If he can handle being around them in a better way so he isn't so personally affected by their teasing, then his grades will probably come back up again too.
Hope it all works out for him!

[margypops]

Talk to him and find out why he thinks they are teasing him,why would they think he was Gay . Some councelling would be okay, you sound as if you give him lots of affection and support,and thats good, this could be a phase, being bullied isnt nice and its hard to crack it once it starts.,how does he handle it once it starts maybe some ideas on handling that would be a good idea, Has he a Dad or step Dad  around if not a Granpa or an Uncle to just hang out with.do some guy things.

[69JAG]

It sounds like you may be a great stepmother; but, as someone who has dealt with the issue of sexuality of family members I would suggest that you step aside and let the boy's father, mother, and gay uncles guide him in any decisions he may need to make about his own sexuality.

I suspect that if the boy has questions about his sexuality(which he may not) he will get around to raising the subject with at least one of his two uncles. Straight or gay, that's what Uncles are for, not Stepmothers.

Also, today there is usually no longer the stigma attached to choosing a gay lifestyle as there was in the past; so, I don't know why you're even raising a concern. The boy's sex life as he matures is his own. You appear to have attached certain personality and behavioral stereotypes to your suspicions about your stepson's sexuality. Those commonly accepted stereotypes are dead wrong.

I know this woman on the West Coast who opened her son's bedroom door to find him having sex with one of his male friends. When she ran to get the pistol to shoot her son's lover, the father told her "what the boy does with his penis is his business".