single military dad of 3 ready to break

I am a single dad with 3 kids. I love them all to death, but their mom put them through abuse and neglect that no person should ever have to endure. I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman who has sacrificed alot in order to make things work with me and my parents try to watch the kids while i am at work with her assistance. Having the kids has put alot of strain on our relationship in that she went from having no kids to helping care for 3 that all have their own quirks and issues. My parents can only watch them so much as they are seniors and the kids are just too much for them some times. I am seriously thinking about getting out of the army, as it will allow me atleast a few mor hours a day with my kids and because my parents can hardly handle my kids for 8 hours let alone a year of deployment. Does anyone out there have any experience or advice they could offer? It would be greatly appreciated.

[margypops]

Do you not share custody at all with your wife ? how often does she see the children ?What are the age groups as this makes a differance,how does the woman   you mention in your post get on with them, that is very important its not easy taking on a role of stepmom ,its a good thing if she likes your kids and will help them , and care for them if not you are all going to have a miserable life .You can get some part time help in to take some of the load off your parents ..good luck .

[juice0209]

My ex has no visitation or contact allowed, so she never sees the children. My step daughter that i have possesion of (working on custody) is 7, and my two are 18 months and 2 and a half. The woman in my life gets along well with them but it can be hard on her as she has no kids of her own and has had to sacrifice alot to be with me. She loves us all and would do anything to help but sometimes she takes on too much and gets overwhelmed, but who could blame her? I already feel like other people are raising my kids more than i am as I am always working, I just feel lost sometimes.

[margypops]

Wow so you are deplyed and you have 2 toddlers and a 7 year old to look after,I can see you would be over whelmed ,I can read between the lines that your friend would be also over whelmed with children of such a young age. I am wondering is getting some child care help in for the younger ones will help you .You may indeed have to leave the army as someone has to take care of them, did the courts realise this when giving you full custody .

[margypops]

Thinking about it , if this was me I would get some child care for the 2 little ones, I guess the 7 year old is at school anyway...that would give your friend time for herself.with some help from your parents you may also get a night out..good Luck, they grow very quickly .....

[jay328]

I am a divorced mother of 4 little girls ages 2, 4, 7, and 8.  I am a cilvilian and its just as hard and I do not have family or the support you have. Its hard because of their ages. Its hard because I am doing it alone. But it is what it is.

[kev543]

Sir, i am surprised that the militarty does not have programs that would help in your situation. have you spoke with your superior about this? This may be the way to go because i would think that its gonna be harded to get help once you are out.

[pittfan17]

i+would+reccomend+day+care+or+finding+a+trustworthy+babysitter.+That+could+take+alot+away+from+your+stress+because+that+way+you+could+have+time+4+ur+kids+and+ur+relationship

[pittfan17]

i+would+reccomend+day+care+or+finding+a+trustworthy+babysitter.+That+could+take+alot+away+from+your+stress+because+that+way+you+could+have+time+4+ur+kids+and+ur+relationship.when+u+say+ready+to+break+what+do+u+mean+%3F+Just+find+a+trustworthy+babysitter+and+pay+them+to+watch+the+kids+3+days+a+week+or+something+like+that%3F