Parenting Teens (12-17) Community
14 yr old boy and masturbating
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14 yr old boy and masturbating

Looking for feedback on what to do.  Ok, my boyfriend and I live together and his 14 year old son is living with us due to the negative relationship he has with his mother.  A couple of weeks ago I came home to his son sitting upstairs in the livingroom.  He had fallen asleep on the couch with his pants half down and his ** sticking out.  I immediately went into the bedroom and called his dad, who wasn't home, for I didn't know what to do.  I ended up making noise from the bedroom and he woke up and went downstairs.  Later that evening he asked if I had saw anything earlier when he fell asleep on the couch.  I told him yes and it was left at that and his dad was going to talk to him - I figured it was not really my place to have that kind of discussion with him.

Something happened this weekend that I am having a very hard time with.  My boyfriend was in the garage and I was going out to sit out there for a bit.  I walked thru the basement to the garage and came upon the son on the couch in the basement doing you know what.  I kept on walking, looking the other way and said sorry and went out the door!!  I immediately told my boyfriend and he was going to go in the house to talk to him about it not being appropriate to do in a "public" place.  I walked around the house to go in thru the front door (vs. going thru the basement again) and his son had moved and was now sitting at the bottom of the stairs (we have a split entry and he was on the stairs in the basement).  I didn't notice this until I was already in the house going upstairs because I thought I saw something - looked down and he was masturbating sitting there but, this time he was holding a picture of me.  

I am mortified and very troubled by this.  I know this may be a "normal" 14 year old boys behavior but I am really having a hard time with seeing him holding a picture of me - his fathers girlfriend!  I feel it is completely inappropriate of him.  My friend said maybe he sees me as the strong female figure in his life and that is somehow coming through.  He doesn't have a great relationship with his mom.  My boyfriend I think is a bit troubled and embarrassed when it comes to talking to me about it, he doesn't know what to say and feels bad for me.  I talked to my boyfriend and started crying, I kind of feel violated if that makes sense.  I never had children, it just was something that I chose wasn't for me so this whole situation has been challenging and now we've come across this new situation.  

Guess I'm looking for what others think and looking for help on how to deal with something like this.  I am feeling totally disgusted and it's hard to even look at the son right now.  
Avatar_m_tn
14 and down and up depending on the child's body chem and possible high testosterone

like to beat the meat allot i did all the bloody time

now to your pic that needs firmly addressed

it could if it hasnt already to obsession

spying at private times or showers lots of bad behaviors

possibly depending on child trying to make it come true

his father needs to and you have to force him to address this now

and it may be to far and need intervention of a counselor

he needs someone to let him know spankin his monkey is normal and fine but obsession is bad

good luck hope it gets better
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