14yr old teen mother

Well i see there are no posts in this forum yet....I am now 19 years old. I had my first daughter when i was 14 years old. Ive been through alot in my life and have learned alott of lessons. Im now married and have 2 daughters and i want you girls to know you can talk to me if you need to..........GOOD LUCK! LOVE YOUR BABIES!

[dlr2007]

I just wanted to comment on how geat it is to see a post like yours. I'm so glad you are doing well- and that you are reaching out to help others. It sounds like you could really give some good advice- coming from experience- to young girls struggling with parenting issues. Best of luck to you and your kids!!
-Dee

[kris123]

Hey manic,  I had my son when I was 14 and was forced to give him up.  It was the worst thing I have ever been threw.  These girls need to know that they can keep their babies and there is government help.  I have found my son and we are in the process of maybe meeting.  The adoption agencies even now do not educate these girls on how they can keep their children it is just so sad.  I had my second child at 17 and just had my third at 29.   One thing I want to do is make sure no young mother has to give their child up if they don't want to

[ssprencel]

No Kris123, instead you would rather have me pay for your irresponsible behavior.  It's not fair that I wait to have children until I can pay for them myself and then have my money taxed from me to pay you so that you can spread your legs in front of whom ever you wish.  And now you are trying to convince other people that that's ok?  People like you offend me!  

By you giving up your son at the age of 14 you gave your child a chance at the world.  You did a noble thing.  You did the right thing.  The right thing isn't always easy but it is always for the best.  At the age of 14 you simply don't have the mental and emotional capacity to raise children in today's society.  If you think you do then you are fooling yourself.  And statistics show that children born to broken homes have a higher rate of poverty, drug use and abuse.  Adoption to a good loving two-parent home is almost always better than trying to raise a child as a 14 year old.  

[kris123]

Yes it is ok for the government to help these people.  I was raped and it was not even my choice to get pregnant.  I had my youth taken from me from a high school boy who wanted sex and I didn't.  It did not change how I felt about my son.  And yes, if I could go back I would keep him.  You can't control pregnacy when you are raped.  Please don't judge me when you don't know the whold story and if you have never been through an adoption, then you don't know what it is like either.  I had my second child at 17 and went to college and make about 40000 a year.  I'm ok and I went to school for free, I paid taxes, I got government help, so i paid into and I used it.  I was not apart of the statistics you are talking about.  I am not in povety and I was a victum of a shady adoption agency.  I know he is happy and know that it was good for him, was it better then me keeping him you or i will never know.

Do people who are raped and get pregnant not by their choice offend you?  Sorry it was not my choice.

[kris123]

You don't know me or what was best.  Have an open mind and get the facts before judging no hard feelings  

[Lewis2323]

Tell her girl! That was harsh for her to come at you like that. My oh my! People make mistakes and choices you cant judge! Last time i checked there was only 1 God!

[April2]

No offense but isn't this forum supposed to be for parents of teens looking for support from other parents of teens? I have plenty of friends who have small children and they can sympathize with me but just can't relate to what I'm going through because they don't have teenagers.

I'm hoping to meet other parents of teens that I can talk to. It's kinda nice when you have someone going through the same things you're going through. It makes you feel not so alone.

And ssprencel, I think you owe an apology to kris123. I think your comments were harsh and uncalled for. Who are we to judge? Are you perfect? People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Let's all have some more compassion, people.

kriss123, I think what you did was very admirable and noble. I can't even imagine how scary that time must have been for you. You are very brave.

Ladies, I hope I didn't offend anyone here. I really would like to meet some other older mom's like me who have teenagers. It's the hardest job on this earth, raising teenagers! We could all use some support.
Nice chatting with you.

[40smama]

April - I was under the same impression as you!  It was a little bit of a shock to read this post although there's nothing wrong w/a teenage mom raising her children (actually very admirable);  it's just that I like you need to meet other women who are going through the same thing that I am.  How are ya doing btw?  Me - I've got some issues w/my 14 year old & am really struggling right now.  Maybe I'll post about it in another thread - jennifer

[kris123]

Yes, this is a forum for teenages.  Mom's needing advise.  I have a daughter who is 12 and knows it all so off to the parenting forum for that age - good luck with your children I am only a few years away from 14

[April2]

I would never tell you you can't come here for advise! Please don't misunderstand me. 12 is close enough for a teenager, especially girls, lol! Girls are way ahead of boys I think.
12 is about when I started having some problems with my daughter. I guess that's about when they go through puberty. I don't know about you but it does seem like it's harder for girls than boys.

One book I'd recommend for you, if you like to read, is "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher, Ph.D.
I'm reading it right now. It's really good. It's about adolescent and teen girls. The author is a physchologist who studied this age in girls and what they go through. I hope you see this. Take care.

[ImmortalOne]

I thought this was for parents of teens too, god I hope so.  My bit@|-|y smurf can drive me banana's, love her though, even if she is 14.

[kethrie]

Wow, what a nasty, vicious, ill-informed, wrongly judgmental, self-centered, bully you are. Thank you for not posting again. I don't welcome the opinion of anyone who would ignorantly attack an individual and a whole group of people.

You need to re-examine the facts instead of feeling so comfortable disparaging and disrespecting all very young mothers. First, the amount of revenue that is allocated to public assistance for young/poor teenage families is a very, very, small percentage of the overall federal and state budgets. Even though there is already a very small amount of money designated for these programs, because of people like you who think anyone who is on assistance is "stealing" from them, politicians always turn to this pool of money to reduce budget expenditures first.

Second, the amount of actual money and assistance a person receives from the government is much less than you would expect. The last time I heard the dollar amount for a single person on food stamps in our state it was $30.00 a week. That's how much they get to eat every week. Give up the resentment and jealousy, because it is misplaced.

Third, it is a myth that all teenage mothers are bad parents. Social and psychological studies demonstrate that factors that cause parents to be bad are relevant at WHATEVER AGE THEY CHOOSE TO HAVE CHILDREN. Or in other words, the original poster who parented her first child at 17 was likely to be just as nurturing, attentive, and responsible at 17 than at 29. So, if she were a good parent at 29, she was likely to have been a good parent at 17. That doesn’t meant that parents who are older aren’t more relaxed, more mature, and have an easier time of it, but when it comes to issues of being abusive and neglectful or loving and responsible, people are the same kind of parent at any age.

Studies have shown that teenage parenthood correlates with other psychological factors that contribute to bad parenting- but it is essential to understand that correlation is not causation. What that means is that irresponsible parents are more likely to have children in their teenage years simply because they have mental problems or character flaws that motivate them to make poor choices and engage in irresponsible behavior.

So, in other words, here's an illustration. Person A is 15 years old. Person A is not nurturing or responsible. Person A becomes pregnant at 15. Person A chooses adoption or abortion. Person A turns 25. Person A becomes pregnant. Person A is just as likely to be a bad mother now, at 25, then they were at 15. Person A is a "bad parent" because of her individual personality. Her ability to mother is not substantially different at any age. Person B, on the other hand, is 15 years old and becomes pregnant. Person B chooses to have the baby. Person B is intrinsically responsible and loving. Person B ends up being a good mother.

That's what studies have shown, and if you think about it, that makes sense. Mothering is instinctual.

[ManicPanic247]

Im still here girls........ :)

[ManicPanic247]

send me a message and you can e-mail me if you want to talk without being attacked.

[ManicPanic247]

This forum is for questions and discussion regarding the challenges of parenting teenagers from the age of 12-17. Topics include physical development, handling peer pressure, emotional development, cognitive development, activities & sports, choosing a college, relationships.

[tmv]

I'm sorry you misunderstood the title. It's parenting teens, not teen parenting.It's from a parents perspective of their teenagers.  I'm sure if you have questions and fall into that category, then they will be answered.

[ManicPanic247]

oops

[MARIEALICE35]

HEY I HEAR YA I HAVE 2 TEENS AND ONE GETTING READY TO BE
BOY  THEY KEEP ME CONFUSED AND LOST