My husband and I separated 16 months ago. One ddaughter lives with me, she's 17. The other has had 3 tries living with her Dad, but doesn't get along with his girlfriend. She doesn't want to come back here either because of issues with her sister. She is wanting to move in with my parents, about an hours drive from here. She thinks a new school, new friends etc will solve all her problems. I'm worried that she's just running from problems and not getting the help she needs. I'm also concerned for my parents, Dad is 70 and I'm not sure how he'll cope.
Do your parents want her to come live with them? In general, is your dad in good health?
I've always admired people who "run away" as you say. I don't understand people who will sit and stew forever in a situation where they're unhappy - they just absolutely refuse to take any steps to get into a better environment, always citing weak excuses why they can't leave.
I think she may have a very good idea. If she gets along well with your parents, she may have the drive it takes to start a new life for herself. Sounds like she wants to start fresh and "reinvent" herself.
Dad is not in great health, but he and Mum are happy to have her stay there. My grandmother and her husband, as well as my aunt and her daughter live in the same town so it would be a bit of a joint effort.
I'm a bit concerned about the fallout if it turns out to be a bad decision.
Can't be any worse than being stuck with either your dad's girlfriend or your mean sister. Let her try it. She might find herself. Don't croak at her about fallout and bad decisions. Treat it as a mature young lady's adventurous decision to better her life.
In all earnestness, let her go. She is trying some self-preservation here, not t something very difficult at which she is bound to fail. I've been thinking about it, and can remember from when I was a little bit older than she is now that there is hardly anything more yucky than having to deal with your dad's girlfriend (i.e., the evidence of his sex life) when you're a teenager. The refusal to make the nice with a woman that your husband apparently cares enough to sleep with but not enough to marry shouldn't be framed as "running away from her problems." I think going to someone who loves you and cares for you, and where maybe you can also have some interesting responsibilities (if grandpa is ill, she will get some), sounds really nice, much better than where she *might* have chosen to go.
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