I don't know how to go about this, so I will just spit it out.
My 14 1/2 year old son masturbated in front of me today. Meaning I was sitting not too far away from him, (a room away, but in easy viewing distance), and glanced up and saw what he was doing. I had been talking on the phone to a friend. It took me a second to believe what I was seeing and when I did I jumped up walked away, and came back a few minutes later and confronted him. I believe this was not an accident. It's not like I had walked in on him. It was very blatant.
I confronted him. Told him what I saw. Told him how I did not understand how he could not realize I was right there since I had been in the middle of loudly talking on the phone. I made it clear that masturbation is not the issue, but that I felt violated that he thought he could do it in front of me.
I left. He will be going to live with his dad. I don't feel safe in my home with him after this combined with what you will read below. (Let me add that he was already going to be living with his dad come the end of the school year as a mutual agreement between all of us).
My son has been aggressive with me prior a few times. He got in a fight at school recently. I called the police on him a few weeks ago when he grabbed my arm and would not let go of me. A cop came and spoke with my son. Things had seemed to be a lot better between us, up until earlier today.
Obviously we all need some professional help. I'm starting tomorrow by meeting with his guidance counselor.
I feel terrified. Meaning, what will happen to my son? What else will this behavior turn into Why is he acting like this? What happened to him that he is acting this way? I also feel disgusted and violated and very alone.
I know I've posed a lot of unanswerable questions. I just really need some feedback...thanks
perhaps there is an underlying reason he's being like this. has he always been confrontational? has he always disobeyed you? tried to hurt you? or is this all new behavior? maybe something happened to him and he's embarrassed, ashamed and doesn't know how else to handle it other than acting out. maybe sit him down and talk to him. see if he lets anything slip. if not why not schedule an appointment with a psychologist. see what they have to say. if you can get to the route of the problem (if these are new problems) then maybe you can help your son deal with them so he doesn't have to be moved out of the house.
You do need some expert help here he for whatever reason believes he can behave disrespec tfully ,seems like something is going on,As he can go to his Dad it may be a good thing especially if he has been violent to you , ahve you asked him why he did this to you? what did he say
I agree that you should make him an appointment with a psychologist as soon as possible.
Maybe something did happen to him and he is angry with you for not protecting him so therefore the abuse and disrespect to you.
I WOULD NOT let his Dad take him until he was seen by a psychologist as the Dad may not take the matter serious or may not even bother to have him seen or the Dad may be some of the cause of the problem.
If you don't have insurance or the money to cover seeing a psychologist you might see if your county has a free clinic or an income based clinic.
I really don't think the school would be much help in this situation.
The best way that you've done is confronted him. I think you should tell your son not to do it again, and you should explain to him how when and where he should do it, and not in your front or near you.
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